Yes, I am PickleBot, programmed to travel through space to collect endangered life forms for my planet to care for, ensuring their safety. Today my objective was to rescue the HEXtraordinary Dragon Whelps available at The Epiphany for just a little while longer!
Seriously though, this was such a fun look to make, and a big Thank You to my Potato for helping me out and finding some super pieces that would work... just for his benefit - PROTOCOL 4 (I think? Unless it's 3, in which case it's still tits yeah?)
Take a look below for all the credits for all this awesome!
I tried to catch the Dragons doing some awesome things, but I'm really not that awesome, and could only manage some basic gyazo gifs. It's worth remembering that the dragons are ANIMESH, so that means you're going to need a viewer that supports that function. The SL main viewer has it, and so does the Firestorm beta - which is what I used today.
Seriously though, I've been seeing a butt-ton of nonsense on facebook lately, which just seems to be pulling people apart, and I was wondering - is that a direct result of social media?
Without the social media thingies, our opinions would be confined to those people in our lives that actually had some semblance of importance there. Now, your next door neighbours best friends cousin can be on your social media account because you waved at her once and when she sent you a friends request you didn't want to decline in case you offended your neighbour.
This whole social media thing is an absolute minefield. You don't share enough and you have the potential to be forgotten (especially if you're a blogger/creator within the SL world), and if you use it too much you're liable to say something eventually that has the potential to piss off an entire clique, thus spinning your 'reputation' into turmoil and potentially causing you to fall off the SL grid.
I really believe that while opinions aren't -usually- harmful, the way other people respond to said opinions can be. Not everyone needs to know your feelings. Not everyone needs to agree with you, and the truth is that if they do, you're probably surrounded by a bunch of 'yes men' that will likely shit talk you behind your back anyway, so sure, give us your opinions via social media, but don't get butthurt or defensive when your opinion isn't shared by all of your followers, and remember just as you seek respect for your opinion, others will be expecting the same for theirs, regardless of the content differing.
Tank : ANTINATURAL[+] Post-Human / MerTank (Gacha) I modified this a lil too, can't remember if it's a lot or a lil bit because it was mostly a lot to do with the transparency.
Pose : Modified SO severely from the original, it's unrecognizable. Thanks Animare!
I was going to post a big old emotional post about this picture, but honestly, I'm still bleddy exhausted so know that there is a story, but I encourage you to make your own minds up as to what has happened to Pickle in this situation.
Meanwhile, I want to take a moment to let you know that during my week of illness, Red Light District re-opened for it's SECOND round. It's actually been open for 5 days now, and I'm kicking myself that I've only just started to peek at the goodies that have come in. Since April 15th, it's been in full swing. Once again, you can find all details on the website >Here< and in my humble opinion, it's definitely worth a visit. Many 'kinky' events seem to offer the basics. There is legitimately so much more on offer at RLD. Furniture, clothing, cuffs, masks, mother-effin' tentacles... yeah. Go check it out!
As you may have guessed yesterday I've been feeling kinda meh for a couple of days and I decided to get that shit out of my system by taking a picture depicting it.
Little did I know that it would actually become more than I thought it could be.
Let me explain.
Along with being an anxious bunny, I struggle with depression. It's also no secret that I also have borderline personality disorder, which, like anxiety & depression, affects every sufferer differently.
This backdrop is absolutely fudging perfect to express all the feels I've been going through for the last few days. The spilling of the sink is everything I cannot deal with overflowing, my anxiety just running onto the floor as I struggle to cope with general day-to-day tasks as simple as feeding myself, or picking the phone up when it rings. The floor breaking under my feet signifies more of the falling apart I can feel, as though if I don't keep up appearances or plaster the smile on my face and act like a positive human being when I all want is to crawl into my bed, everything will crumble beneath me. Finally the door, the light at the end of the tunnel. It's not far, Pickle. All you need to do is stand the F up and walk a couple of paces and you're there. You've escaped.
But then you get to the bigger picture.
You're not struggling with the environment at all, really. It's the inner you. The monster you become when you can have an episode pushing those people who care for you and you care for far away.
There's expectation, the manacles, tying you to what you think you should be doing compared to the things you need to do to save yourself. Those chains, they're also your fears, if you break them, you have LITERALLY no excuse to not behave like a functioning member of society - but if it's been a while since you functioned, that fear on it's own can keep you locked up.
The collar around your neck, that's extra weight, distraction. Like pushing food around on your plate and never lifting the fork to your mouth you're just not feeding yourself with the positivity you need... another reminder that though you're technically free and you have the key to end your own suffering, you're not yet strong enough to stand up to what is essentially your own self.
So you just sit there, and you watch things fall apart around you, feeling sorry for yourself and rubbing at your temples because of the constant headache you feel, your eyes closed and those monstrous hands wrestling to stay tender as you soothe yourself in the best way you know how - in the safest way you know how.
Alone.
I'm reminded of a situation 10 years ago that has haunted me. I went to a tarot card reader. Something that always, always interested me. I sat down and she read my cards for me, and there is ONE thing that has stuck in my head, and that was... "You'll never be happy because you don't allow yourself to be happy."
To someone like me that's not just a blanket statement. That's something that has smacked me in the face every time I think that sought after happiness is almost within my grasp. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm miserable - the majority of the time I'm really not, but I am definitely a realist... and I can't help feeling as though that one sentence from that stranger (Who also told me I would have a lovely wedding and go on to have twins - which was actually a totes balls-up), has effectively scrubbed any hope I had for happiness from my future because of ME. Because *I* am incapable of it. Essentially, I have victimized myself.
I don't mean to appear like a victim, I'm well aware that there are many, many people who deal with far more than I ever have, who are still standing tall and adulting effectively. I would love to find out why it is certain people have that ability and why I'm not one of them, but I'm not sure it'll be seen in my lifetime.
Rest assured, despite this apparently negative post, I am not in an absolutely terrible place. I am not a danger to myself and although I may joke about going on a rampage with a machete, it's not currently on my to-do list. I'm aware this is a phase, and I actually feel a bunch better having succeeded in using this blog and picture as therapy.
I genuinely hope your friday is full of love and laughter and if it's not? There's almost always a tomorrow.
