Peace of mind.

Pose : [ La Baguette] nomimo (G.sit) 5

Taken at my homestead. ♥

I think I've expressed before that I have trouble just letting things go, and I'm not entirely sure why it's so troublesome for me. The smallest interactions can leave me examining every little thing I said, and even when I have the best intentions my message often ends up becoming quite mixed.

That being said, I want to make something clear. 

I blog because I love it. When it comes to expressing an opinion about blogging, it is always that - my opinion. I don't think I'm any more 'right' than anyone else, nor do I believe that I am above anyone else. Blogging is 100% an art form, and when given the correct equipment for your art, you can excel beyond even your own expectations. If you're not given the equipment, it's your responsibility to find the items you'd like to blog. It's no-one's responsibility to provide you with the tools, but should you decide you'd like to apply for a blogger position, it's entirely my belief that you should grab that opportunity with both hands, remembering during the course of your blogger career with that brand how extremely lucky you are to be granted the creativity of the brand in question.

It's my belief that not only do you have a responsibility to that brand, but also to the applicants to that brand that weren't lucky enough to have access to the products you're now blogging. Suggesting that you'd like to skip over certain items because they don't fit your style is -in my opinion- insulting, because you APPLIED for that position (If you didn't apply and the creators are friends, where the fudge is your loyalty to your friends? Are you still a blogger, or are you always a friend, regardless of your photography talent? Are you taking up a blogger spot as well, or are you just lucky enough to be passed items from your friend? This makes my brain sore.). Other people applied that would wholeheartedly grasp at those products and happily, excitedly show off the amazingly talented creators we're lucky enough to see all over secondlife. If you blog, and find yourself in a position where the product no longer brings you happiness, GIVE UP YOUR SPOT for that blogger team, as there are probably a bunch of people waiting for it.

It saddens me daily that there seems to be such entitlement when it comes to blogging.

Although without a doubt I am extremely lucky, I am by no means one of the best bloggers in SL, despite my passion, despite my attempts at continuing to improve, but I don't have to be the best to enjoy every minute of what I do. I am however, blessed with some exceptionally talented people who are generous enough to grant me their items to attempt to make some pretties with, and damned if i'll sit here while bloggers belittle the beauty and generosity creators show on a regular basis.

Okay I feel better now! Have a beautiful day, Spoonies and never take anything for granted, because there is always someone wishing they had what you have.

All of the things : 

Body & Feet :  -Belleza- Freya

Hands : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara (This was so I could wear the nails from #Shook, I selected the "Slink Fit" option on the Belleza Hud, and then added the Maitreya hands. It's worth noting, there may be the occasional clothing clipping moment with this, as the belleza arms and Maitreya arms are shaped differently)

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : [Glam Affair] Serenity Applier [ Catwa ]

Eyes : LOTUS. Camouflage Eyes 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Magic Pixie Ears 

Hair : Sintiklia  Hair Titania @ Collabor88

Headpiece : *LODE* Head Accessory - Tulips & Cherries [pale yellow red] (Gacha) @ Shiny Shabby

Epaulets : *LE* Valyrian Lady Shoulders Gold RARE (Gacha) (Not sure if this is still available, it's pretty old!)

Bodysuit : +MB+ Nena Bodysuit @ Spring Flair

Nails : #SHOOK - Baddie Claws 

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Koemi Heels @ Uber

Without a scratch.

Pose : <K&S> Loveliness pose 1 (Slightly edited with animare)

Background : WeArH0uSE [tunnel] Backdrop (it was at Cosmopolitan, but i'm not sure if it's the current round)

How easy it is to be sucked into the negative!

I heard somewhere that for every bad thing you hear about yourself, you hear 13 good things that you glaze over because you've taught yourself not to believe them, so now, whenever I hear someone who doesn't know me say something bad about me, I'll try to recall just five nice things I've heard from people who do know me.

Don't get me wrong, I know I have bad points, but let's face it, unless it's coming to you in the form of asked for constructive criticism, it's going to often appear like an attack... which will probably put the initiator on the defensive, and there's your argument start point.

I won't argue anymore. I can't. I'm too tired.

Instead, I'll internalize, and most of the time I'll come to the conclusion that when it really, really isn't me initiating the negative, it says more about them than it does me.

Love and light.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : [Glam Affair] Serenity Applier [ Catwa ]

Eyeliner : -SU!- [HUD] Essential Eyeliners (Gacha)

Eyes : LOTUS. Camouflage Eyes 12 

Eyebrows : [okkbye] bucolic eyebrows (catwa)

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Magic Pixie Ears 

Glasses : -[TWC]- Asshole Glasses -CLr BLk-

Hair : .Shi : Sa-Rah

Nose ring & Choker : Spookshow - Abyss Set

Tattoo : DAPPA - Claudia Tattoo. @ Kinky Event

Jacket : Native Urban - Melo Jacket @ Uber

Shorts : EVANI - Hanna shorts [LATEX RARE](Gacha)

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Tomomi Patent Heels @ Kinky Event

Take the long way home.

Pose : Foxcity. Made Up-1 (Fatpack Exclusive) (Note, the cupcake over-rides that hand&arm pose)

Cupcake : :::ChicChica::: Sweet Gacha #12

Background ; [BH9] - Brinkles ATM V1

So I succumbed to the fact that I might need a new head (obviously, I didn't, but I still DID). Initially, I thought I wanted the LAQ Ivy head, which I tried and gosh, it's beautiful... but then I started to wonder about what I could do to make it feel like me, and realized that there would be fewer skins, and lesser make up options... so I ran around for a while and tried this one, from Catwa. I still wanted the big eyes and doll-like features from the LAQ head, but with Catwa I knew I could find some skins that would work, due to the marketplace being full of them... and yay! I found one! (and also tried a good few older ones I have in my inventory and a fair amount of those worked too!) 

I really don't know why I have so many mesh heads. Part of me thinks it's just because it's SL and you can literally change your look from day to day in accordance with your budget, and in RL I think we'd all like to do that some times, although it might be a bit Worzel Gummidge (Older British people might remember good ol' Worzel!)

Anywho, have a beautiful day, Spoonies.

xoxo

All of the things.

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : [Glam Affair] Serenity Applier [ Catwa ]

Eyeliner : -SU!- [HUD] Essential Eyeliners (Gacha)

Eyes : LOTUS. Camouflage Eyes 12 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Magic Pixie Ears 

Hair : tram G0210 hair

Choker : Amala- The Ariana Choker - Gold

Tattoo : DAPPA - Antora Tattoo.@ TLC

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Mona Set @ N21

If you do nothing else today, take a moment to listen to this beautifully under-rated song. ♥

Dry my eyes.

Pose, Stem & Petals. : *!R.O!* 11 Mins BENTO Pose

Background : ninety - callejon [ backdrop ]

Healing is messy, and so is this week.

I hope to be back to uh... normal(?) soon.

xoxo

All of the things :

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Dragon Ears 

^^Swallow^^ Gauged Ear

Eyes : -SU!- Medora Eyes /Glitch Wasted/ (Gacha)

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Wendy> @ Whore Couture 

Headpiece : .random.Matter. - Amicus Halo [Golds] @ Kustom9

Tattoo : DAPPA - Kagami Tattoo. @ Neo Japan

Armor : [The Forge] Eldar Armour

Romper : -Narcisse- April Lace Romper  @ Zodiac

Conspicuous.

Pose : [La Baguette] Kazi G.sit poses 4

Background : FOXCITY. K-POP Star 2 - Ringa Linga (Rez) RARE @ Backdrop City

The tiger is from a Poseidon pose set, as part of a rare.

I seem to have rediscovered my love of the Black Dragon viewer today. I initially loaded it up remembering how smooth it was to cam around and thought maybe it would be a better option for vlogging, but when I adjusted my settings, I remembered how much I adored the crispness for photography, too.

I initially stopped using the viewer because it had become laggy and was cumbersome for me to move around on it, when I took a large picture, it would crash, and i'd have to relog and attempt to rez everything all over again, which had also become difficult. I suppose there's been a few updates since then, as it must have been 6 months or more ago that I stopped, but now everything runs far better, and nothing has changed on my end, except maybe driver updates!

Anywho, here's hoping that the curve of learning continues and my  photography only excels!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Dragon Ears 

^^Swallow^^ Gauged Ear

Eyes : -SU!- Medora Eyes /Glitch Wasted/ (Gacha)

Glasses : VCO . Zion glasses 

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Vanessa> @ Cosmopolitan

Necklace : *PROMAGIC* Kaali -Necklace

Tattoo : DAPPA - Conjure Tattoo. (Previously at Skin Fair)

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Elin Set @ Uber

Gloves : **RE** Motor Gloves 

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Konami Heels @ Collabor88

Some good.

Pose : K&S - // No chance to be without you 

Swans : Culprit Swan Seat White (BENTO)

Culprit Swan Seat Black (BENTO)

Available at a 100% Donation to Relay For Life @ The Home & Garden Expo

Taken at my homestead.

I spoke to my RL Mum today. She's a stickler for doing things her way, and as I've been slowly inching my way towards health and happiness, she's not always had the most supportive things to say. "Well hurry up and get it done" has pretty much been the narrative.

We've never had the best relationship, we're a lot alike in personality and we'd clash regularly throughout my teens and.. well, until now, really.

I started to talk to her differently. When I call or visit, I make sure I actually engage with her. I ask her how she is and I listen. I might not have a complete handle on my emotions yet and naturally there's still times where I snap, or she snaps, and we sit in silence for a moment.

Most recently she asked if I liked a pair of shoes she'd purchased for my daughter. I probably should have thought through my answer to be a little more mindful of the effort she went to, but my reply was something along the lines of "Not really, they look like special shoes." She huffed, a lot. For a 70 year old lady she can tantrum like a 6 year old... and rather than just letting it go, I snapped "If you don't want my opinion, don't ask."

I reckon I'm gonna feel bad about that interaction for a while, but I also think that maybe that was important, because I've tended to cower in her presence, and finally, at the grand ol' age of 38, I think I stood up to my Mum.

During my musings about my mental health, I've often wondered how hard it must have been for her growing up, so long ago. It's hardly surprising she has issues due to what she's faced in her past, and having an understanding of that will hopefully allow us to connect on a completely different level.

Anywho. Enjoy the contents of today's blawwwg. Be good to yourself, and each other!

xoxo

Revoul tones for the Arabella Genus Applier skin. I'm wearing RE20, which is top right!

In this set of pictures I'm wearing the DOUX - Brianna Hairstyle and my eyes are Lotus Royalty Mesh Eyes.

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : GENUS Project (Original)

Skin : Lefort by Revoul Arabella Genus Applier (+ Chubby Body Applier for Belleza) @ Collabor88

Eyelids : L'Etre - Natural mesh eyelids

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Rox Ears

Hair : *ARGRACE* MAYU (Not sure if this is still available!)

Tattoo : DAPPA - Petal Tattoo. @ Access

Bikini : +MB+ Brianna Bikini 

Nails : Ascendant - Pretentious Nails 

An ocean full of change.

Pose : <EMOZIONE> Couple Pose **On The Track ~2~**!

Seat & things : {moss&mink} Molly Hallway Seat @ Fameshed

{moss&mink} Paper Flowers Pk1 - Set1 @ Belle Event (I have more plans for these, so stay tuned.. I really didn't do them justice!)

{what next} Floor Jar Lantern

I roped in Potato for this post, and uh, kinda forced him into making over his avatar completely (not quite completely, but I did make him buy the new Lelutka "Guy" head). Seeing as how his internet hasn't improved over the past 18 months, it's impossible for me to find out exactly what he's wearing, but I -think- his hair is Stealthic, and his shirt is from Ascend... but I'm not certain, hence my hesitance in linking all the things.

Still, we look pretty, and clearly I'd much rather stare at him than the beautiful sunset behind us, so that's awesome, right?

I got super frustrated with this post, and for a moment I reverted into ungrateful, annoyed and super negative Pickle of last year. Not good, not fresh, not something I want to revisit, ever. 

Luckily, Potato is incredibly understanding and fully supported me having a near-hissy-fit, calmed me down and told me to go the fuck to sleep (not quite like that, but he probably could have gotten away with it... maybe?), but yeah. Here we are 3 days later with an actual picture to show for his patience! I love that man.

Anywho, I know you're not here for my rambles, so have some information.

Happy weekend, Spoonies!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier 

Eyes : HERMONY /  EYES OF THE BEHOLDER  

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Pyramid Ear

Hairpiece : {moss&mink} Paper Flowers Pk1 @ Belle Event (These aren't supposed to go on your head, but they look cute. Love me pls.)

Horns : Lovely Disarray - Sketched Hellion Horns

Hair : [monso] My Hair - Yurin

Necklace : (Yummy) Bang Bang Choker @ Uber

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Tuva Set @ Equal 10

Nails : Ascendant - Pretentious Nails 

Rings :  (Yummy) Comfy Cozy Ring Set

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Satoyo Heels @ Fameshed

Where do we go?

Pose : FOXCITY. GSits VOL2-2m

Background :  anxiety %formaldehyde

This one has been a bit of a labor of love, as I've kind of been toying with this picture for about 6 hours. I mean, that's on and off... with short bursts of SL shopping and RL interruptions (girl's gotta eat, yanno.)

I love the outfit too, everything. From head to toe! As usual you can grab some CAIWL unedited pictures below, so whatcha waiting forrr?

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Dragon Ears 

^^Swallow^^ Gauged Ear

Eyes : -SU!- Medora Eyes /Glitch Wasted/ (Gacha)

Hair : #7 Sintiklia - Top style - Hair Jayla - Blacks&whites (Gacha) @ Arcade

Mask : DAPPA - Antisocial Mask. (Formerly @ The Fetish Fair)

Choker : random.Matter - Feral Collar [Silver/Old] (Group Gift (50L Fee))

Tattoo : DAPPA - Moon Tattoo.~@ The Skin Fair

Outfit : evani. - Missy @ Whore Couture 

Boots : [BREATHE]-Tanami Heels @ Uber

Don't give up.

Pose :  FOXCITY. Sits VOL3-5 (Fatpack exclusive)

Background :  Mesh India Graffiti Backdrop Natural Limited @ Backdrop City

The louder they talk, the less they have to say.

Let's have a look at the Dappa Tattoo I'm sporting today, yeah?

Happy Weekend!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : GENUS Project (babyface)

Eyes : -SU!- Medora Eyes /Glitch Wasted/ (Gacha)

Eyeliner : Veechi - Basic Glossy Liner

Eyes : LOTUS. Flow Eyes 

Lipstick : -SU!- Matte Lip Essentials 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Gauged Ear 

Hair : .Shi Hair : Ruach @ Uber

Tattoo : DAPPA - Impact Tattoo.@ Kinky Event

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Alba Set @ Uber

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Tomoe Heels @ The Arcade 

Remember the light.

Pose : Imitation - Kitty 1 C

Things : *HEXtraordinary* Angelfish Aquarium (Gacha) @ The Gacha Garden

{anc} flower wind 

[ keke ] secrets garden flower

Hi! I'm a mermaid!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier @ Uber

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Pixie Ears 

Hair : Tableau Vivant \\ Editorial \ Bent over - Funky (Gacha)

Pasties : {LP} -  Mermaid  Top

Tattoo : MoonPhase MermaidHentai_JustScales_Blue_ 

Shorts : +MB+ MyMermaid Shorts 

Throw down.

Pose : Poseidon Poses Tauriel 2 @ Enchantment (opens 9th Feb)

Bow : .~DN~. Golden Huntress Bow (This is actually really good fun and I had a whale of a time throwing a friend across my sim for lols.) @ The Secret Affair

So, I kinda created this scene in a super huge, overdone way. What you can't see is the swamp in the background, and the fact that Pickle is actually on a ledge, and the horses are way below on a ravine. I guess I need to work a little more on getting my background into the whole scene I'm creating, but there's worse things to realize!

Let's talk about Enchantment, yeah?

It's only bloody Lord of the Rings themed! I'll be honest, I had actively avoided watching this series of movies or reading the books. I think back in the day the 'cool kids' were into the Hobbit, and then of course the Lord of the Rings, and so it's just been something I avoided out of habit, and not disinterest - kinda like Star Wars (don't kill me, I'm aware I'm blaspheming all over.)

Still, when I found out that this round was going to be LOTR themed, I HAD to watch, and I freakin' loved it. All of it. Every single bit. I mean, I can't tell you the name of the characters because that stuff goes in one ear and out the other, but I'd definitely watch it all again, and would even consider reading the books (gasp!). 

With that said, can you guess who I'm channeling, albeit in female form (with slightly longer ears)?

It's of course Legolas the Elf who likes his bow and arrow (and yes, I had to google his name)!

Now, I dunno how close I actually am to pulling it off, but that was my take on the whole thing, and I had HOURS of fun with this (literally, hours. My poor homestead is in tatters because I got excited and over decorated like a boss), but let's get to the credits, k?

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head & Eyeliner : GENUS Project (babyface)

Skin : . MILA . Neave Skin 

Eyebrows : [okkbye] Eutropic Eyebrows 

Eyes : LOTUS. Unhappy Eyes @ The Gacha Garden

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Ears Elf HD 

Hair & Headpiece : NO.MATCH_NO_REFUGE @ Enchantment (opens 9th Feb)

Outfit : [Lomomo] ArcherVie_ @ Enchantment (opens 9th Feb)

Boots : [BREATHE]-Mayuki Heels @ FaMESHed