Build it up, tear it down.

Uh. I forgot to note the pose again. Sorry. 

I was wondering today, at what point does a conversation go from being a conversation between two adults, to somehow delving into drama? 

Nothing has happened to me, so no need to be concerned or to start ruminating on who Pickle's gotten into a conflict with... calm yer loins dear Spoonies!

But literally 80% of the 'drama' I have had in Second Life has been me saying "Hey, I don't like that. It made me feel this way." and another party going "Well don't you get your drama panties in a twist drama llama, if you don't like this dramatic thing, it's all your dramatic fault."

Now this can be people I've known for years and years (but mostly not, because by that point we've gotten a rapport about accepting the other has feelings, apologizing for whatever we've said or at least discussing it so we understand where the other is coming from), or it is, more likely, someone I have known for days.

Is it really a case of "You're too sensitive, Pickle!" or is it more of a case of any time someones REAL feelings get bought into SL and it's not related to the happy endorphin filled feeling of love or lust, or want or need, it's suddenly backpedal backpedal pushaway?

I realize to some this might sound like I'm one of those people who get offended all the damn time, but I've reached a point in my life where I can accept that different people have thought processes that don't match mine. If you can provide a logical reason as to why you believe something that I find morally wrong, I'll probably come around to the fact that you have a point, but I'll still believe what I want to believe with a greater understanding of the other side. I have friends of all walks of life with very, very different beliefs, Muslims, Christians, Catholics, Trump supporters, Transgender, Gay, Straight, Male, Female, Black, White and Brown. I legitimately have no issues with -people- I have issues with their interpretations of dramatic. But ultimately, I'm responsible for my own feelings... and that too is something I need to remember.

If you're wrong, take accountability and just fess up. Hell, even if you're not wrong, if you've upset someone APOLOGIZE, meaningfully and allow the beautiful parts of that potential friendship to blossom, or walk away with a lighter heart and less of a headache.

xoxo

I thought I'd show you a back view of the pretty hair from Fabia available at the Gacha Garden.

The bow has it's very own hud and you can choose between some solid colours and a few beautiful patterns. Loving this hairstyle so hard!

The Candy Skin from Revoul is available in six tones. RE05, RE10, RE15, RE20, RE25 and RE30. I've chosen to wear RE10 in my main picture today!

It also has six candy coloured lipsticks and a shape, not blogged, so make sure you run over and go demo all the pretties! 

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Shape : Kaleidoscope : Revolution Shape.

Skin : Lefort by Revoul.Candy Catwa Applier @ Equal10

Head : CATWA Catya

Eyes : LOTUS. Humanity Eyes @ The Gacha Garden (Opens 1st May)

Ears : L'Etre - Pure mesh ears 

Hair : -FABIA-<Vita> @ The Gacha Garden (Opens 1st May)

Tattoo : DAPPA - Chris Tattoo.@ A+ Event

Top : +MB+ Ellie Top @ Level Event (opens 30th April)

I didn't know...

Pose : FOXCITY. Sits VOL2-6m

Beautifimous Proppages : {moss&mink} Trinity bath & Tera Planters (Grey) @ FaMESHedX

{moss&mink} #Blessed

{moss&mink} Paper Flowers

Fundati's Great Grass Chamomile

Pixel Mode - Anahata - Floor Candles (Check MP, no longer available gacha item)

Pixel Mode - Victoria's Bath - White Towel Stack (Check MP, no longer available gacha item)

{anc} bubbles . 

Okay Spoonies, so I know I had a total melt down a couple of days ago and basically spewed a bit of hate about how so unfair it is that recognition in blogging does not always equate to talent, but some delusional idea of 'fame', HOWEVER, I may have had an epiphany... and this is why I love blogging, because I get to share it with you.

I've spoken before about how my daughter lives with my parents, you may have to dig a little deeply to find that, but the full post is within this here blog, and I attribute that fact to me now being able to move on in a much healthier direction. 

Today my daughter called me absolutely distraught. We've had issues getting her to go to school on a regular basis, and today was one of those days. As punishment for her refusal to go, Grandad took away the internet, and she was sad about it because, like most 16 year olds, she likes to spend her days playing games with her online friends.

As I was trying to calm her and explain that when you're good, good things happen, and when you're bad you're punished, I suddenly realized this wasn't entirely true. So there I am, stumbling over my words and trying to explain that to my daughter, when it only just sunk in for me.

Don't misunderstand, I KNEW life wasn't fair. It just didn't sink in that one day I might have to explain that to someone else, nor that I'd make a bit of a twat of myself by expressing the very same sentiment in that one post we're never going to speak of again!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : Lefort by REVOUL Nicki Lelutka Applier 

Eyes : REVOUL - Revoulutionary Beauty Eyes 

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Somali> GROUP GIFT

Tattoo : DAPPA - Magnolia Tattoo. @ Harajuku

Bikini : Luder! Miyu Microkini 

Haze.

Pose : FOXCITY. Autumn-1 (Fatpack exclusive)

Background Items :  RAMA - #selfie_RAMA Flower-Garden Lavatory RARE @ Backdrop City

[Bad Unicorn x Birch] Mary Janes 'Bong' (Gacha item)

The weed plants are from somewhere on marketplace a million years ago - I think they may even be prims.

Sleepy, please come back tomorrow for some ranties.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : Lefort by REVOUL Nicki Lelutka Applier 

Eyes : REVOUL - Revoulutionary Beauty Eyes 

Eyeliner : Veechi - Basic Glossy Liner

Hair : DOUX - Tyrisha Hairstyle @ Belle Event

Necklaces : .random.Matter. - Kashina - Necklaces @ Equal 10

Tattoo : DAPPA - Herz Tattoo. @ Man Cave Event

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Sana Set @ Uber

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Song Su- @ The Epiphany

The dog ate my homework.

Pose : Foxcity. Breezy-1

Bag : NS::  Belty Trip Backpack @ A+ Event - Note! This backpack comes with straps and is designed to be worn on your back! I photoshopped the arms out. It also comes with a couple of super cute poses, so check it out!

Background & Props : [ Focus Poses ] School Hallway Backdrop

So I had a rant yesterday, but you'll be pleased to know I'm feeling much better today... less bitter and whole lot refreshed and ready to provide some beautiful products from some wonderful creators.

I know I've used this pose before, but it really was perfect. As I was getting ready for this picture, my friend Apple told me "You look like a confused college student, that's there to study rather than party" so, I ran with that for a minute and grabbed some props, until Apple was ready to continue the story to it's thrilling climax.. " But you also want to save the hedgehogs, and the rally is on the same day as your final exam, and you need to pass it or you'll flunk the year, and have to redo it again, but that's just what your nemesis wants, the cool girl from the top table, she's even gone as far as getting someone to let the tires down on your car, so you have to run, hence the sneakers"

I think I need more time with Apple.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : Lefort by REVOUL Nicki Lelutka Applier 

Eyes : REVOUL - Revoulutionary Beauty Eyes 

Hair : DOUX - Lala hairstyle @ Dubai Event

Hairband : #Foxy - Lace Cat Ears 'Panther'

Glasses : DAZED. Concubine Glasses

Collar : (Yummy) Crochet Choker 

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Tina Set @ N21

Gloves : **RE** Motor Gloves 

The seaweed is always greener.

I have no idea what pose I used because, like a derp, I forgot to note it. Sorry! ♥

Mini rant for today.

Seems like there's a whole lotta fuss about blogging on facebook, AGAIN.

I've said over and over again that I freaking LOVE what I do, regardless of me standing my avatar in front of a background, or creating a full scene around me, I work at what I do. I -try- to blog at least five times a week, and usually that turns into seven, but there are occasions when I might go a couple of days without, purely because my brain can no longer function, or because the thing I tried to do didn't work out that day, and rather than posting an unsatisfactory (yet probably perfectly usable) photograph, I retake the next day instead.

However.

The thing that really pisses me off, is that despite the amount of effort I put in, there is very little recognition. Am I unapproachable? Maybe. I can be a bit of a smart ass - usually in jest. However, when there are people getting commended as "Top Bloggers of SL" and I know for a fact they have HALF the views I have (which isn't that many, there are far better people than I to follow, don't get me wrong), I'm left sitting here scratching my head and wondering who's ass I have to kiss to be noticed.

And then those SAME PEOPLE, preach about being kind to everyone, when I've spoken face to face with them, knowing they have two faces, and both of them are mean as shit!

If you're gonna be a dick, you HAVE to own it, but maybe that's the edge? 

=takes a deep breath=

Nine times out of ten, being a blogger or a photographer has nothing to do with talent, professionalism, or creativity, but everything to do with who you know. I don't know how I ended up here - and again, I AM LUCKY. I have beautiful sponsors who create beautiful products, and for some reason they allow me, little Pickle, to work with their items... I just wish there were more creators who looked at the bigger picture, and not the amount of stars next to a picture on flickr - that's not talent or exposure, that's ass kissing.

xoxo

On a much lighter note, have a gander at the four beautiful tones that the Revoul "Nicki" Lelutka applier comes in. I absolutely adore the fullness of these lips!! From left to right : RE05, RE10, RE15, RE20.

All the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : Lefort by REVOUL Nicki Lelutka Applier 

Eyes : REVOUL - Revoulutionary Beauty Eyes 

Hair in main picture : [LCKY] Rain // Splashing (Gacha)

Hair in Tones : Sintiklia - Hair Titania @ C88

Hand Bracelet : .AiShA. Kraken Bracelet Ring @ Fantasy Faire

Bra : Baiastice_Mermaid Jewel Bra (I'm not sure if these are available anymore, they're super old)

Tattoo : {Moon.Phase} MermaidHentaiBody_BlueScales

Live without it.

Pose : FOXCITY. Loco-4

Background : FOXCITY.  Photo Booth - Aeonian 

Today I'm showcasing the beautiful FKA skin from Revoul.

I knew it was a homage to the artist FKA Twigs, but honestly, I wasn't entirely sure who this person was. I've since watched a few of her music videos, listened to her music and done a little bit of research on her, and it turns out that not only is this amazingly talented woman a genre of her own, but she's also a bloody Brit! Go-on, Love! Also, can we just take a minute to admire the completely gorgeous hair styles she sports? Kthnx.

The inspiration behind the look today was based on FKA Twigs "Two Weeks" Music Video, which you can see right at the bottom of this post!

xoxo

Above you'll find all the tones that are available in the FKA Skin Range. It's worth noting that the teeth are on the skin, so even when your lips are closed, you're going to see them. It did take me a minute to make a shape for my mouth, but I'm almost certain you'll agree the result is well worth it! There is a shape available from Revoul.. I just really enjoy making my own!

Check out the cute lipstick shades!

All of the things :

Body : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : GENUS Project (babyface)

Skin : Lefort by Revoul.FKA Genus Applier 

Eyes : AMITOMO.Eye Collection #5 

Hair : +Spellbound+ Pyramids

Hairbase : SIIX // Pyramids Hairbase // Black

Headpiece : =Zenith=Gothic Rose headpiece 

Septum :(Yummy) Eclipse Septum - Gold

Shirt : Moon Elixir - Baby Doll - Top 

What I'm not.

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Catya

Skin & Lipstick : Lefort by Revoul.Kiana Catwa Applier in RE15

Eyes : LOTUS. Bright Eyes 

Ears : Random.Matter Elfie Ears.

Hair & Hairbase : +Spellbound+ Freja

Headpiece : Foxes - Spiritualist - Head Piece - Gold - Fire

Necklace : .AiShA. Draco Necklace Gold @ The Ice & Fire Fair Sponsored by Redeux (I've tried to find more information, but am currently unable to find a landmark. The link provided will take you to the website, which will hopefully be updated soon! The fair opens on the 3rd of April and is Game Of Thrones themed!)

Dragon : *HEXtraordinary* Dragon Whelps (Gacha)

No apologies.

All of the things : 

Head : CATWA Catya

Skin : TRES BEAU MAKEUP CATWA BAE (PEARL)

Birthmarks :  [okkbye]  bold birthmarks 

Eyeliner : -SU!- Essential Eyeliners /RARE/ (Gacha)

Eyes : LOTUS. Liquid Eyes
Eyebrows : [okkbye] Adumbrate Eyebrows 

Lipstick : REVOUL - Luscious Lipsticks  / Catwa 

Ears : L'Etre - Basic Mesh ears 

Hair : DOUX - Cristal Hairstyle

Necklace : NS::  Fairy kei Rainbow necklace @ Harajuku

You know what they say.

Pose : Go&See * Divine * 8

Yup, still exhausted! ♥

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : GENUS Project (Original)

Skin : Lefort by Revoul Arabella Genus Applier  Tone RE 10 (+ Chubby Body Applier for Belleza) @ Collabor88

Eyeshadow : Veechi - Cyber Romy Shadow (50L friday)

Cheek Stars : Veechi - Cutie Stars

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Becca> @ Shiny Shabby

Tattoo : DAPPA - Hikaru V2 Tattoo. @ Limit8

Jacket : .miss chelsea. Eevi Jacket (50L Friday)

Panties :DAPPA  - Cursed Panties 

Some good.

Pose : K&S - // No chance to be without you 

Swans : Culprit Swan Seat White (BENTO)

Culprit Swan Seat Black (BENTO)

Available at a 100% Donation to Relay For Life @ The Home & Garden Expo

Taken at my homestead.

I spoke to my RL Mum today. She's a stickler for doing things her way, and as I've been slowly inching my way towards health and happiness, she's not always had the most supportive things to say. "Well hurry up and get it done" has pretty much been the narrative.

We've never had the best relationship, we're a lot alike in personality and we'd clash regularly throughout my teens and.. well, until now, really.

I started to talk to her differently. When I call or visit, I make sure I actually engage with her. I ask her how she is and I listen. I might not have a complete handle on my emotions yet and naturally there's still times where I snap, or she snaps, and we sit in silence for a moment.

Most recently she asked if I liked a pair of shoes she'd purchased for my daughter. I probably should have thought through my answer to be a little more mindful of the effort she went to, but my reply was something along the lines of "Not really, they look like special shoes." She huffed, a lot. For a 70 year old lady she can tantrum like a 6 year old... and rather than just letting it go, I snapped "If you don't want my opinion, don't ask."

I reckon I'm gonna feel bad about that interaction for a while, but I also think that maybe that was important, because I've tended to cower in her presence, and finally, at the grand ol' age of 38, I think I stood up to my Mum.

During my musings about my mental health, I've often wondered how hard it must have been for her growing up, so long ago. It's hardly surprising she has issues due to what she's faced in her past, and having an understanding of that will hopefully allow us to connect on a completely different level.

Anywho. Enjoy the contents of today's blawwwg. Be good to yourself, and each other!

xoxo

Revoul tones for the Arabella Genus Applier skin. I'm wearing RE20, which is top right!

In this set of pictures I'm wearing the DOUX - Brianna Hairstyle and my eyes are Lotus Royalty Mesh Eyes.

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : GENUS Project (Original)

Skin : Lefort by Revoul Arabella Genus Applier (+ Chubby Body Applier for Belleza) @ Collabor88

Eyelids : L'Etre - Natural mesh eyelids

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Rox Ears

Hair : *ARGRACE* MAYU (Not sure if this is still available!)

Tattoo : DAPPA - Petal Tattoo. @ Access

Bikini : +MB+ Brianna Bikini 

Nails : Ascendant - Pretentious Nails 

Go on girl & Culprit Vlog.

Pose : Go&See * Divine * 6

Background & Props : FOXCITY. Photo Booth - Dance Hall 

Culprit Sonata Baby Grand Piano BENTO @ The Boardwalk Event

[DDD] Twinkling Ivy 

I've had a preeetty busy day today, and although I'm achy and sore, I'm incredibly grateful to just be here to share silly little SecondLife things with you.

I've been working on a vlog, at this moment in time, my editing program is behaving like a complete butthole and I'm struggling immensely!

I'm thoroughly enjoying the whole vlog thing, as it's definitely pushing my levels of personal comfort and feeling a bit like a derp when I talk... and although my editing is basic at best, I'm enjoying learning more each time I try.

xoxo

- Update... for whatever reason, my video editing program was completely ridiculous. After 6 hours attempting to be patient with the lag it was experiencing yesterday, and going to bed annoyed (i like to keep to my self-made deadlines) I decided to attempt a brand new program. Currently, it's worked out pretty well as I've completed the vlog! \o/ Please excuse the animal noises in the background, I shoulda moved from the ground to a platform - and my ground is LITERALLY a farm! 

The Revoul skin shown today is available in 5 tones, my favourite (shown in the main pictures and vlog) is the RE25 tone! ♥

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : GENUS Project (Original)

Skin : Lefort by Revoul Miami CatwaGenusOmega @ The Skin Fair

Ears : L'Etre - Ringed mesh ears

Hairbase :  Stealthic - Male Hairbase

Hair : KUNI / Alex @ Equal10

Dress : .miss chelsea.  X Oakley Foxtrot - Royale with Cheese Dress V2 @ Kustom9

Nails : Ascendant - Pretentious Nails 

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Kikumi Heels (Formerly @ Kinky Event)

One in a million.

Pose : FOXCITY. Play Ball-6m (Fatpack Exclusive)

Props : *alirium* DownyGrass [Green]

*alirium* PuffyGrass [Green]

LB_FlowersBed{Daisy}

Apple Fall Oxeye Daisy Patch

This picture got me thinking about making daisy chains as a child. I'm kinda old (shh.) so it wasn't unusual to find me in my back garden, sitting cross legged threading daisies from the grass through one another to make long flowery jewelry to adorn my head, neck and wrist, and occasionally my ankle.

That lead me to wonder how to correlate daisies to people... and as I was doing my washing up (ew!) it hit me. When I made the chains in my back garden, some of the daisies would droop while others would thrive. After a few days, I'd replace the droopy, limp flowers with fresh new ones, slotting them in to my creation without even thinking about it. Some times, I would make holes in the stems of the flower using my thumb nail and others, the daisy would be tied tight with a knot.

That is how they relate to people. Our relationships are bound by the slightest thread... the stem of our daisy. Some relationships get tied tightly with the strength of a knot, and other times, we open ourselves up to fit the needs of another. At times, our relationships wilt and we replace old friends with newer, fresher friends that fit our growth pattern.

I guess the only thing that is important in this is reminding ourselves what we want our garden to look like. Which flowers we want to pair with ours that bring the fragrance out as a beautiful medley and enhance our beauty by bringing their own special needs in to our soil. It's also important to weed regularly, because heaven knows how easy it is for someone to suck the nutrients from your roots...

Happy Tuesday, Spoonies.

xoxo

The revoul skin show comes in 5 tones. My favourite being RE20, shown in my main pictures.

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : GENUS Project (Original)

Skin : Lefort by RevoulChontei CatwaGenusOmega @ The Skin Fair

Eyes : {S0NG} :: Ange Eyes 

Ears : L'Etre - Ringed mesh ears

Hair : Stealthic - Dawn @ Kustom9

Hairpiece : Astralia - Daisy spring wreath 

Shirt & Bag : EVIE - Fanny Spring @ Equal10

Shorts : evani. - Tessa @ Kustom9