Nothing really matters but...

Pose : FOXCITY. Breezy-2

Before I go to sleep, I like to Youtube. I have a pretty select number of channels that I actually enjoy, from your generic make-up artists to more newsy type things, and sometimes even a good ol' conspiracy.

I was watching Philip DeFranco last night, he's a news type dude, but will give you the facts then if necessary he'll give you his opinion. I like this a lot. He seems fair, he doesn't appear to have an agenda, and I've been finding out some really cool shit about the world that I'd never have known before, because the mainstream news just makes me want to punch kittens through boredom.

Last night he mentioned how Instagram was going to start making likes on their posts less visible in order to raise the quality of content people were posting, and my dead little heart SOARED. THIS. This whole principle is exactly why I am planning a break, to distance myself from the "Likes = quality content" crap surrounding blogging and photography. I want to bring content to readers/viewers of my blog that adds something to their lives, whether that surrounds RL mental health issues and my perspectives, or something in SL that bugs me. I want to be slightly more informational, maybe more pictures indicating the quality of the product i'm blogging, maybe a feature on a sim, maybe more close ups and definitely more informational vlogs, which will hopefully increase in quality the more I practice!

My opinions will be broadcast even more. So if you don't like this part of my blogging, you can totally skip over it (probably like you already do, right?) and if you do, well you're gonna be in for a treat! 

The other advantage of me stepping away from the Likes debacle, will hopefully mean that I don't value the opinions of strangers on my work, and this external validation that I feel necessary will deplete. I know I'm decent at what I do, and if that makes me a big headed, entitled cowbag, I'll take that title. I know I 'deserve' things that other people are getting, but I also know that as much as I deserve what other people are getting, so do many many bloggers and photographers that are far better than I am, so why not just take that whole 'competition' aspect I feel from blogging away, and turn it back into what it should be, what it has been in the past, and what I love... a place I can show my style, give information and overall have some bloody fun.

Just today by taking away the "Omg I gotta" aspect from my photo, I feel like I encapsulated a side of the Pickle avatar that had been long forgotten, and it came easily. 

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : GENUS Project (Original)

Skin : . MILA . Neave Skin [Honey] GENUS 

Eyes : Veechi - Foxy Eyes @ UBER

Eyeliner :  Veechi  - Basic Glossy Liner

Hair : -FABIA-<Vitalina> @ The Gacha Garden 

Necklace : MINIMAL - Camera Necklace *Gold*

Shirt : evani. Polly ribbed dress @ Collabor88

Do what you do.

Pose, Lightsaber & Debris : *!R.O!* Force BENTO Pose 

Location : Mother Road - Mirage Motel 66 - Public

So today I think I blew up the world a little bit...

I don't mean that in a bad way, but the more I blow up, the more I realize that this is what needs to be done to rebuild.

I need to be a little vague right now, until I've actually decided 100% how to approach my plans, but there's going to be a few changes to my blog, how I blog and probably the over-all look of my blog. I've spent a long time (almost 4 years) feeling like I don't belong, so rather than attempting to fit in to a community that hasn't really offered me any support other than the early access to events and the occasional promo of stores looking for bloggers, it's time for me to really, really blog for me - to practice what I preach.

I'm nearing my 1000th post. I think that'd be a great new start... there might be a short break in between there, but as I attempt to make a difference to my RL, it's time I address my SL too, especially if I want to use the platform in a far more healthy way.

xoxo

All the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : Catwa Skin applier - Peach - Snow (Enfer Sombre*)

Eyes : LOTUS. Humanity Eyes @ The Gacha Garden 

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Passion> @ Dubai Event

Mask : CURELESS [+] Procedure Mask / VINYL WHITE CLEAR

Bodysuit : evani. Alice bow bodysuit @ Uber

Arm : [omnis]  BlackWidow/2 
Shoes : [BREATHE]-Mayuko Heels-@ Uber

Haze.

Pose : FOXCITY. Autumn-1 (Fatpack exclusive)

Background Items :  RAMA - #selfie_RAMA Flower-Garden Lavatory RARE @ Backdrop City

[Bad Unicorn x Birch] Mary Janes 'Bong' (Gacha item)

The weed plants are from somewhere on marketplace a million years ago - I think they may even be prims.

Sleepy, please come back tomorrow for some ranties.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : Lefort by REVOUL Nicki Lelutka Applier 

Eyes : REVOUL - Revoulutionary Beauty Eyes 

Eyeliner : Veechi - Basic Glossy Liner

Hair : DOUX - Tyrisha Hairstyle @ Belle Event

Necklaces : .random.Matter. - Kashina - Necklaces @ Equal 10

Tattoo : DAPPA - Herz Tattoo. @ Man Cave Event

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Sana Set @ Uber

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Song Su- @ The Epiphany

Peace of mind.

Pose : [ La Baguette] nomimo (G.sit) 5

Taken at my homestead. ♥

I think I've expressed before that I have trouble just letting things go, and I'm not entirely sure why it's so troublesome for me. The smallest interactions can leave me examining every little thing I said, and even when I have the best intentions my message often ends up becoming quite mixed.

That being said, I want to make something clear. 

I blog because I love it. When it comes to expressing an opinion about blogging, it is always that - my opinion. I don't think I'm any more 'right' than anyone else, nor do I believe that I am above anyone else. Blogging is 100% an art form, and when given the correct equipment for your art, you can excel beyond even your own expectations. If you're not given the equipment, it's your responsibility to find the items you'd like to blog. It's no-one's responsibility to provide you with the tools, but should you decide you'd like to apply for a blogger position, it's entirely my belief that you should grab that opportunity with both hands, remembering during the course of your blogger career with that brand how extremely lucky you are to be granted the creativity of the brand in question.

It's my belief that not only do you have a responsibility to that brand, but also to the applicants to that brand that weren't lucky enough to have access to the products you're now blogging. Suggesting that you'd like to skip over certain items because they don't fit your style is -in my opinion- insulting, because you APPLIED for that position (If you didn't apply and the creators are friends, where the fudge is your loyalty to your friends? Are you still a blogger, or are you always a friend, regardless of your photography talent? Are you taking up a blogger spot as well, or are you just lucky enough to be passed items from your friend? This makes my brain sore.). Other people applied that would wholeheartedly grasp at those products and happily, excitedly show off the amazingly talented creators we're lucky enough to see all over secondlife. If you blog, and find yourself in a position where the product no longer brings you happiness, GIVE UP YOUR SPOT for that blogger team, as there are probably a bunch of people waiting for it.

It saddens me daily that there seems to be such entitlement when it comes to blogging.

Although without a doubt I am extremely lucky, I am by no means one of the best bloggers in SL, despite my passion, despite my attempts at continuing to improve, but I don't have to be the best to enjoy every minute of what I do. I am however, blessed with some exceptionally talented people who are generous enough to grant me their items to attempt to make some pretties with, and damned if i'll sit here while bloggers belittle the beauty and generosity creators show on a regular basis.

Okay I feel better now! Have a beautiful day, Spoonies and never take anything for granted, because there is always someone wishing they had what you have.

All of the things : 

Body & Feet :  -Belleza- Freya

Hands : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara (This was so I could wear the nails from #Shook, I selected the "Slink Fit" option on the Belleza Hud, and then added the Maitreya hands. It's worth noting, there may be the occasional clothing clipping moment with this, as the belleza arms and Maitreya arms are shaped differently)

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : [Glam Affair] Serenity Applier [ Catwa ]

Eyes : LOTUS. Camouflage Eyes 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Magic Pixie Ears 

Hair : Sintiklia  Hair Titania @ Collabor88

Headpiece : *LODE* Head Accessory - Tulips & Cherries [pale yellow red] (Gacha) @ Shiny Shabby

Epaulets : *LE* Valyrian Lady Shoulders Gold RARE (Gacha) (Not sure if this is still available, it's pretty old!)

Bodysuit : +MB+ Nena Bodysuit @ Spring Flair

Nails : #SHOOK - Baddie Claws 

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Koemi Heels @ Uber

Without a scratch.

Pose : <K&S> Loveliness pose 1 (Slightly edited with animare)

Background : WeArH0uSE [tunnel] Backdrop (it was at Cosmopolitan, but i'm not sure if it's the current round)

How easy it is to be sucked into the negative!

I heard somewhere that for every bad thing you hear about yourself, you hear 13 good things that you glaze over because you've taught yourself not to believe them, so now, whenever I hear someone who doesn't know me say something bad about me, I'll try to recall just five nice things I've heard from people who do know me.

Don't get me wrong, I know I have bad points, but let's face it, unless it's coming to you in the form of asked for constructive criticism, it's going to often appear like an attack... which will probably put the initiator on the defensive, and there's your argument start point.

I won't argue anymore. I can't. I'm too tired.

Instead, I'll internalize, and most of the time I'll come to the conclusion that when it really, really isn't me initiating the negative, it says more about them than it does me.

Love and light.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : [Glam Affair] Serenity Applier [ Catwa ]

Eyeliner : -SU!- [HUD] Essential Eyeliners (Gacha)

Eyes : LOTUS. Camouflage Eyes 12 

Eyebrows : [okkbye] bucolic eyebrows (catwa)

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Magic Pixie Ears 

Glasses : -[TWC]- Asshole Glasses -CLr BLk-

Hair : .Shi : Sa-Rah

Nose ring & Choker : Spookshow - Abyss Set

Tattoo : DAPPA - Claudia Tattoo. @ Kinky Event

Jacket : Native Urban - Melo Jacket @ Uber

Shorts : EVANI - Hanna shorts [LATEX RARE](Gacha)

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Tomomi Patent Heels @ Kinky Event

I can hear you.

Hai, I totally forgot what I was doing today and didn't save credits for the pose or the background - but the background can be found at the members only area of  Backdrop City under 'retro'! Sorry. 

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : GENUS Project (Baby Face)

Skin : .: fiore :. MAXIE Genus Applier - SPF35 @ Kustom9

Eyeshadow : Veechi - Glossy Liners

Hair : TRUTH / Lady /

Tattoo : DAPPA - Claudia Tattoo. @ Kinky Event

Shirt : BUENO-Layla Top @ Uber

Skirt : .miss chelsea. Hali Skirt Black Leather (Formerly for 50L friday)

Milkshake : Pewpew! Icy Milkshake Jar - Strawberry Cream

Conspicuous.

Pose : [La Baguette] Kazi G.sit poses 4

Background : FOXCITY. K-POP Star 2 - Ringa Linga (Rez) RARE @ Backdrop City

The tiger is from a Poseidon pose set, as part of a rare.

I seem to have rediscovered my love of the Black Dragon viewer today. I initially loaded it up remembering how smooth it was to cam around and thought maybe it would be a better option for vlogging, but when I adjusted my settings, I remembered how much I adored the crispness for photography, too.

I initially stopped using the viewer because it had become laggy and was cumbersome for me to move around on it, when I took a large picture, it would crash, and i'd have to relog and attempt to rez everything all over again, which had also become difficult. I suppose there's been a few updates since then, as it must have been 6 months or more ago that I stopped, but now everything runs far better, and nothing has changed on my end, except maybe driver updates!

Anywho, here's hoping that the curve of learning continues and my  photography only excels!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Dragon Ears 

^^Swallow^^ Gauged Ear

Eyes : -SU!- Medora Eyes /Glitch Wasted/ (Gacha)

Glasses : VCO . Zion glasses 

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Vanessa> @ Cosmopolitan

Necklace : *PROMAGIC* Kaali -Necklace

Tattoo : DAPPA - Conjure Tattoo. (Previously at Skin Fair)

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Elin Set @ Uber

Gloves : **RE** Motor Gloves 

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Konami Heels @ Collabor88

An ocean full of change.

Pose : <EMOZIONE> Couple Pose **On The Track ~2~**!

Seat & things : {moss&mink} Molly Hallway Seat @ Fameshed

{moss&mink} Paper Flowers Pk1 - Set1 @ Belle Event (I have more plans for these, so stay tuned.. I really didn't do them justice!)

{what next} Floor Jar Lantern

I roped in Potato for this post, and uh, kinda forced him into making over his avatar completely (not quite completely, but I did make him buy the new Lelutka "Guy" head). Seeing as how his internet hasn't improved over the past 18 months, it's impossible for me to find out exactly what he's wearing, but I -think- his hair is Stealthic, and his shirt is from Ascend... but I'm not certain, hence my hesitance in linking all the things.

Still, we look pretty, and clearly I'd much rather stare at him than the beautiful sunset behind us, so that's awesome, right?

I got super frustrated with this post, and for a moment I reverted into ungrateful, annoyed and super negative Pickle of last year. Not good, not fresh, not something I want to revisit, ever. 

Luckily, Potato is incredibly understanding and fully supported me having a near-hissy-fit, calmed me down and told me to go the fuck to sleep (not quite like that, but he probably could have gotten away with it... maybe?), but yeah. Here we are 3 days later with an actual picture to show for his patience! I love that man.

Anywho, I know you're not here for my rambles, so have some information.

Happy weekend, Spoonies!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier 

Eyes : HERMONY /  EYES OF THE BEHOLDER  

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Pyramid Ear

Hairpiece : {moss&mink} Paper Flowers Pk1 @ Belle Event (These aren't supposed to go on your head, but they look cute. Love me pls.)

Horns : Lovely Disarray - Sketched Hellion Horns

Hair : [monso] My Hair - Yurin

Necklace : (Yummy) Bang Bang Choker @ Uber

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Tuva Set @ Equal 10

Nails : Ascendant - Pretentious Nails 

Rings :  (Yummy) Comfy Cozy Ring Set

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Satoyo Heels @ Fameshed

Where do we go?

Pose : FOXCITY. GSits VOL2-2m

Background :  anxiety %formaldehyde

This one has been a bit of a labor of love, as I've kind of been toying with this picture for about 6 hours. I mean, that's on and off... with short bursts of SL shopping and RL interruptions (girl's gotta eat, yanno.)

I love the outfit too, everything. From head to toe! As usual you can grab some CAIWL unedited pictures below, so whatcha waiting forrr?

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Dragon Ears 

^^Swallow^^ Gauged Ear

Eyes : -SU!- Medora Eyes /Glitch Wasted/ (Gacha)

Hair : #7 Sintiklia - Top style - Hair Jayla - Blacks&whites (Gacha) @ Arcade

Mask : DAPPA - Antisocial Mask. (Formerly @ The Fetish Fair)

Choker : random.Matter - Feral Collar [Silver/Old] (Group Gift (50L Fee))

Tattoo : DAPPA - Moon Tattoo.~@ The Skin Fair

Outfit : evani. - Missy @ Whore Couture 

Boots : [BREATHE]-Tanami Heels @ Uber

No fire.

Pose : Go&See * LoveBites * 9

Hi!

I am so amazingly thrilled with the way this picture came out I may have done a happy dance.

Sometimes, I can take a picture and love it and it's done in 4 minutes.

Other days, it takes me a while.

If it's not the pose, it's the lighting. If it's not the lighting, it's the background. Sometimes my hair will stick through my clothing, or my finger will dig into my body, and i'll have to spend up to an hour editing all those little pieces to make the picture fit together the way it does in my head. 

Today was one of those days, and I had to step away for a while, and come back and carry on.

There was a questionnaire that went out for bloggers to voluntarily fill out at some point... and I remember reading the questions and wondering whether i'm the only person in the world who experiences moments like I mentioned above. When it asked "How long does it take you to do a blog post from concept to completion?" I really didn't know how to answer. Some days, I can do it all in maybe two hours. Other days, it literally takes me ALL DAY... and the chances are before I've even started to take the photograph, I have had a conceptual idea in my head for at least half a day previous, sometimes a week or more, depending on deadlines.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining! I freakin' LOVE doing what I do, and I suppose in a way I am lucky that I can currently devote the time to it that I do.

I guess what I'm saying is that you really can't judge effort, or growth by looking at one picture... and that's true of people as much as it art.

xoxo

Soooo.. Shook has come out with some pretty effin' awesome nail addons. They come for Slink & Maitreya, and you can change two layers. I've enclosed a couple of gifs, and hopefully that'll be enough to set you on your way to understanding how these nails work. You can choose to have an ombre effect with two colours of your choice using the hud, or if you select both colours to be the same, you have some stunningly gorgeous single colour adornments for the tips of your fingers.

I'm wearing the Square version of the nails, and I'm using the metallics hud for varnish.

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : GENUS Project (babyface)

Skin : Essences Nari @ Kustom9

Eyes : LOTUS.Soulful Eyes 

Eyeliner : Veechi - Basic Matte Liner

Face Tattoo : DAPPA - Sinner Face Tattoo. @ Men Only Monthly

Glasses : -SU!- Poison Sunglasses

Hair & Hat : -FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Azara>  @ TLC

Dress : evani. - Ingrid dress @ Uber

Nails : #SHOOK - Baddie Claws {Short Square} @ Whore Couture 

Don't give up.

Pose :  FOXCITY. Sits VOL3-5 (Fatpack exclusive)

Background :  Mesh India Graffiti Backdrop Natural Limited @ Backdrop City

The louder they talk, the less they have to say.

Let's have a look at the Dappa Tattoo I'm sporting today, yeah?

Happy Weekend!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : GENUS Project (babyface)

Eyes : -SU!- Medora Eyes /Glitch Wasted/ (Gacha)

Eyeliner : Veechi - Basic Glossy Liner

Eyes : LOTUS. Flow Eyes 

Lipstick : -SU!- Matte Lip Essentials 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Gauged Ear 

Hair : .Shi Hair : Ruach @ Uber

Tattoo : DAPPA - Impact Tattoo.@ Kinky Event

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Alba Set @ Uber

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Tomoe Heels @ The Arcade