So today I think I blew up the world a little bit...
I don't mean that in a bad way, but the more I blow up, the more I realize that this is what needs to be done to rebuild.
I need to be a little vague right now, until I've actually decided 100% how to approach my plans, but there's going to be a few changes to my blog, how I blog and probably the over-all look of my blog. I've spent a long time (almost 4 years) feeling like I don't belong, so rather than attempting to fit in to a community that hasn't really offered me any support other than the early access to events and the occasional promo of stores looking for bloggers, it's time for me to really, really blog for me - to practice what I preach.
I'm nearing my 1000th post. I think that'd be a great new start... there might be a short break in between there, but as I attempt to make a difference to my RL, it's time I address my SL too, especially if I want to use the platform in a far more healthy way.
I was wondering today, at what point does a conversation go from being a conversation between two adults, to somehow delving into drama?
Nothing has happened to me, so no need to be concerned or to start ruminating on who Pickle's gotten into a conflict with... calm yer loins dear Spoonies!
But literally 80% of the 'drama' I have had in Second Life has been me saying "Hey, I don't like that. It made me feel this way." and another party going "Well don't you get your drama panties in a twist drama llama, if you don't like this dramatic thing, it's all your dramatic fault."
Now this can be people I've known for years and years (but mostly not, because by that point we've gotten a rapport about accepting the other has feelings, apologizing for whatever we've said or at least discussing it so we understand where the other is coming from), or it is, more likely, someone I have known for days.
Is it really a case of "You're too sensitive, Pickle!" or is it more of a case of any time someones REAL feelings get bought into SL and it's not related to the happy endorphin filled feeling of love or lust, or want or need, it's suddenly backpedal backpedal pushaway?
I realize to some this might sound like I'm one of those people who get offended all the damn time, but I've reached a point in my life where I can accept that different people have thought processes that don't match mine. If you can provide a logical reason as to why you believe something that I find morally wrong, I'll probably come around to the fact that you have a point, but I'll still believe what I want to believe with a greater understanding of the other side. I have friends of all walks of life with very, very different beliefs, Muslims, Christians, Catholics, Trump supporters, Transgender, Gay, Straight, Male, Female, Black, White and Brown. I legitimately have no issues with -people- I have issues with their interpretations of dramatic. But ultimately, I'm responsible for my own feelings... and that too is something I need to remember.
If you're wrong, take accountability and just fess up. Hell, even if you're not wrong, if you've upset someone APOLOGIZE, meaningfully and allow the beautiful parts of that potential friendship to blossom, or walk away with a lighter heart and less of a headache.
xoxo
I thought I'd show you a back view of the pretty hair from Fabia available at the Gacha Garden.
The bow has it's very own hud and you can choose between some solid colours and a few beautiful patterns. Loving this hairstyle so hard!
The Candy Skin from Revoul is available in six tones. RE05, RE10, RE15, RE20, RE25 and RE30. I've chosen to wear RE10 in my main picture today!
It also has six candy coloured lipsticks and a shape, not blogged, so make sure you run over and go demo all the pretties!
I think I've expressed before that I have trouble just letting things go, and I'm not entirely sure why it's so troublesome for me. The smallest interactions can leave me examining every little thing I said, and even when I have the best intentions my message often ends up becoming quite mixed.
That being said, I want to make something clear.
I blog because I love it. When it comes to expressing an opinion about blogging, it is always that - my opinion. I don't think I'm any more 'right' than anyone else, nor do I believe that I am above anyone else. Blogging is 100% an art form, and when given the correct equipment for your art, you can excel beyond even your own expectations. If you're not given the equipment, it's your responsibility to find the items you'd like to blog. It's no-one's responsibility to provide you with the tools, but should you decide you'd like to apply for a blogger position, it's entirely my belief that you should grab that opportunity with both hands, remembering during the course of your blogger career with that brand how extremely lucky you are to be granted the creativity of the brand in question.
It's my belief that not only do you have a responsibility to that brand, but also to the applicants to that brand that weren't lucky enough to have access to the products you're now blogging. Suggesting that you'd like to skip over certain items because they don't fit your style is -in my opinion- insulting, because you APPLIED for that position (If you didn't apply and the creators are friends, where the fudge is your loyalty to your friends? Are you still a blogger, or are you always a friend, regardless of your photography talent? Are you taking up a blogger spot as well, or are you just lucky enough to be passed items from your friend? This makes my brain sore.). Other people applied that would wholeheartedly grasp at those products and happily, excitedly show off the amazingly talented creators we're lucky enough to see all over secondlife. If you blog, and find yourself in a position where the product no longer brings you happiness, GIVE UP YOUR SPOT for that blogger team, as there are probably a bunch of people waiting for it.
It saddens me daily that there seems to be such entitlement when it comes to blogging.
Although without a doubt I am extremely lucky, I am by no means one of the best bloggers in SL, despite my passion, despite my attempts at continuing to improve, but I don't have to be the best to enjoy every minute of what I do. I am however, blessed with some exceptionally talented people who are generous enough to grant me their items to attempt to make some pretties with, and damned if i'll sit here while bloggers belittle the beauty and generosity creators show on a regular basis.
Okay I feel better now! Have a beautiful day, Spoonies and never take anything for granted, because there is always someone wishing they had what you have.
Hands : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara (This was so I could wear the nails from #Shook, I selected the "Slink Fit" option on the Belleza Hud, and then added the Maitreya hands. It's worth noting, there may be the occasional clothing clipping moment with this, as the belleza arms and Maitreya arms are shaped differently)
My local corner shop is offering Flaming Hot Twisted Cheeto's, so I purchased two packs, and watched a huge amount of the Great British Bake Off today. I really feel like this picture is an entire mood!
Pose : <K&S> Loveliness pose 1 (Slightly edited with animare)
Background : WeArH0uSE [tunnel] Backdrop (it was at Cosmopolitan, but i'm not sure if it's the current round)
How easy it is to be sucked into the negative!
I heard somewhere that for every bad thing you hear about yourself, you hear 13 good things that you glaze over because you've taught yourself not to believe them, so now, whenever I hear someone who doesn't know me say something bad about me, I'll try to recall just five nice things I've heard from people who do know me.
Don't get me wrong, I know I have bad points, but let's face it, unless it's coming to you in the form of asked for constructive criticism, it's going to often appear like an attack... which will probably put the initiator on the defensive, and there's your argument start point.
I won't argue anymore. I can't. I'm too tired.
Instead, I'll internalize, and most of the time I'll come to the conclusion that when it really, really isn't me initiating the negative, it says more about them than it does me.
So I succumbed to the fact that I might need a new head (obviously, I didn't, but I still DID). Initially, I thought I wanted the LAQ Ivy head, which I tried and gosh, it's beautiful... but then I started to wonder about what I could do to make it feel like me, and realized that there would be fewer skins, and lesser make up options... so I ran around for a while and tried this one, from Catwa. I still wanted the big eyes and doll-like features from the LAQ head, but with Catwa I knew I could find some skins that would work, due to the marketplace being full of them... and yay! I found one! (and also tried a good few older ones I have in my inventory and a fair amount of those worked too!)
I really don't know why I have so many mesh heads. Part of me thinks it's just because it's SL and you can literally change your look from day to day in accordance with your budget, and in RL I think we'd all like to do that some times, although it might be a bit Worzel Gummidge (Older British people might remember good ol' Worzel!)
Headpiece : Foxes - Spiritualist - Head Piece - Gold - Fire
Necklace : .AiShA. Draco Necklace Gold @ The Ice & Fire Fair Sponsored by Redeux (I've tried to find more information, but am currently unable to find a landmark. The link provided will take you to the website, which will hopefully be updated soon! The fair opens on the 3rd of April and is Game Of Thrones themed!)
Couple of hunt items available in the blog today. The first mentioned is the MadPea Spring Hunt, and you can find all details on the MadPea website, including the starting point. You grab a hud and run around the grid in search of cute creatures, capturing them on your hud. Depending on the amount of creatures you catch, you can then run back to the start point to pick up some prizes from selected stores.
The second hunt is the Bunny Hop, follow the link to find the starting point. It runs from April 1-14th, with 30 participating stores. It's claimed to be a hard hunt, so make sure your camming skills are amaze!
When Muggleborn popped out these antenna I got super excited, and immediately started contemplating how I could get to be a Picklefied Alien. I'm not sure I entirely pulled it off, but I did have a good time trying! It also meant that I could grab a Lumae skin, which I have been entirely neglecting (sorry!), because the textures to match the majority of the Lumae collection are included with the antenna. Also included are the textures you need to tint and match whatever skin you're wearing yourself so yay!
This week has been a bit weird for me. I feel a bit like I'm stuck in limbo again, barely moving forward. The only good part of that is that things are steady... and maybe I'm just unused to that.
I've still been watching a bunch of mental health stuff on Youtube, but for entertainment I have been revisiting Gossip Girl on Netflix... why? Because of Chuck Bass and my oddly inappropriate girl-crush on the bad-boy that might turn good. Still, when Potato's away, I need a lil eye candy (don't hate me babe!)
Here's hoping your days are filled with happy smiles, and any rainclouds that appear for you swiftly depart.
