Build it up, tear it down.

Uh. I forgot to note the pose again. Sorry. 

I was wondering today, at what point does a conversation go from being a conversation between two adults, to somehow delving into drama? 

Nothing has happened to me, so no need to be concerned or to start ruminating on who Pickle's gotten into a conflict with... calm yer loins dear Spoonies!

But literally 80% of the 'drama' I have had in Second Life has been me saying "Hey, I don't like that. It made me feel this way." and another party going "Well don't you get your drama panties in a twist drama llama, if you don't like this dramatic thing, it's all your dramatic fault."

Now this can be people I've known for years and years (but mostly not, because by that point we've gotten a rapport about accepting the other has feelings, apologizing for whatever we've said or at least discussing it so we understand where the other is coming from), or it is, more likely, someone I have known for days.

Is it really a case of "You're too sensitive, Pickle!" or is it more of a case of any time someones REAL feelings get bought into SL and it's not related to the happy endorphin filled feeling of love or lust, or want or need, it's suddenly backpedal backpedal pushaway?

I realize to some this might sound like I'm one of those people who get offended all the damn time, but I've reached a point in my life where I can accept that different people have thought processes that don't match mine. If you can provide a logical reason as to why you believe something that I find morally wrong, I'll probably come around to the fact that you have a point, but I'll still believe what I want to believe with a greater understanding of the other side. I have friends of all walks of life with very, very different beliefs, Muslims, Christians, Catholics, Trump supporters, Transgender, Gay, Straight, Male, Female, Black, White and Brown. I legitimately have no issues with -people- I have issues with their interpretations of dramatic. But ultimately, I'm responsible for my own feelings... and that too is something I need to remember.

If you're wrong, take accountability and just fess up. Hell, even if you're not wrong, if you've upset someone APOLOGIZE, meaningfully and allow the beautiful parts of that potential friendship to blossom, or walk away with a lighter heart and less of a headache.

xoxo

I thought I'd show you a back view of the pretty hair from Fabia available at the Gacha Garden.

The bow has it's very own hud and you can choose between some solid colours and a few beautiful patterns. Loving this hairstyle so hard!

The Candy Skin from Revoul is available in six tones. RE05, RE10, RE15, RE20, RE25 and RE30. I've chosen to wear RE10 in my main picture today!

It also has six candy coloured lipsticks and a shape, not blogged, so make sure you run over and go demo all the pretties! 

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Shape : Kaleidoscope : Revolution Shape.

Skin : Lefort by Revoul.Candy Catwa Applier @ Equal10

Head : CATWA Catya

Eyes : LOTUS. Humanity Eyes @ The Gacha Garden (Opens 1st May)

Ears : L'Etre - Pure mesh ears 

Hair : -FABIA-<Vita> @ The Gacha Garden (Opens 1st May)

Tattoo : DAPPA - Chris Tattoo.@ A+ Event

Top : +MB+ Ellie Top @ Level Event (opens 30th April)

I didn't know...

Pose : FOXCITY. Sits VOL2-6m

Beautifimous Proppages : {moss&mink} Trinity bath & Tera Planters (Grey) @ FaMESHedX

{moss&mink} #Blessed

{moss&mink} Paper Flowers

Fundati's Great Grass Chamomile

Pixel Mode - Anahata - Floor Candles (Check MP, no longer available gacha item)

Pixel Mode - Victoria's Bath - White Towel Stack (Check MP, no longer available gacha item)

{anc} bubbles . 

Okay Spoonies, so I know I had a total melt down a couple of days ago and basically spewed a bit of hate about how so unfair it is that recognition in blogging does not always equate to talent, but some delusional idea of 'fame', HOWEVER, I may have had an epiphany... and this is why I love blogging, because I get to share it with you.

I've spoken before about how my daughter lives with my parents, you may have to dig a little deeply to find that, but the full post is within this here blog, and I attribute that fact to me now being able to move on in a much healthier direction. 

Today my daughter called me absolutely distraught. We've had issues getting her to go to school on a regular basis, and today was one of those days. As punishment for her refusal to go, Grandad took away the internet, and she was sad about it because, like most 16 year olds, she likes to spend her days playing games with her online friends.

As I was trying to calm her and explain that when you're good, good things happen, and when you're bad you're punished, I suddenly realized this wasn't entirely true. So there I am, stumbling over my words and trying to explain that to my daughter, when it only just sunk in for me.

Don't misunderstand, I KNEW life wasn't fair. It just didn't sink in that one day I might have to explain that to someone else, nor that I'd make a bit of a twat of myself by expressing the very same sentiment in that one post we're never going to speak of again!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : Lefort by REVOUL Nicki Lelutka Applier 

Eyes : REVOUL - Revoulutionary Beauty Eyes 

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Somali> GROUP GIFT

Tattoo : DAPPA - Magnolia Tattoo. @ Harajuku

Bikini : Luder! Miyu Microkini 

Haze.

Pose : FOXCITY. Autumn-1 (Fatpack exclusive)

Background Items :  RAMA - #selfie_RAMA Flower-Garden Lavatory RARE @ Backdrop City

[Bad Unicorn x Birch] Mary Janes 'Bong' (Gacha item)

The weed plants are from somewhere on marketplace a million years ago - I think they may even be prims.

Sleepy, please come back tomorrow for some ranties.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : Lefort by REVOUL Nicki Lelutka Applier 

Eyes : REVOUL - Revoulutionary Beauty Eyes 

Eyeliner : Veechi - Basic Glossy Liner

Hair : DOUX - Tyrisha Hairstyle @ Belle Event

Necklaces : .random.Matter. - Kashina - Necklaces @ Equal 10

Tattoo : DAPPA - Herz Tattoo. @ Man Cave Event

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Sana Set @ Uber

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Song Su- @ The Epiphany

Champagne dreams.

Pose : CW Poses - Right Here

Items used : +Half-Deer+ Dreamrose Princess Bed - Blush Pink

MishMish - My Little Lamb (resized) from a former edition of Luxe Box a million years ago.

uK - Mystic Dew Mist Gold

Jian :: Down on the Ranch - Stone Wall Fence Half

I feel like this picture is a whole entire hashtag for my life. I'm literally exhausted from the moment I wake up, to the moment I go to sleep - and I barely do anything. I can't actually remember what it's like to get off my chair without groaning and today I left a mini tin of vaseline heating up to soften under my boob (shuttup don't act like you don't do that if you have bigger tiddies) for three whole hours because I legit forgot it was there.

Please love me. Please. 

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body  :  -Belleza- Freya

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : TRES BEAU MAKEUP CATWA BAE (PEARL)Eyelids : L'Etre - Natural mesh eyelids

Glasses : K{<3}P - Yami Glasses - White

Birthmark : [okkbye] bold birthmarks 

Bandaid & Flower : [Salem] Flower Bandaid

Hair : VCO ~ Sakura [B] Gray (Gacha) @ Kustom9

Tattoo : DAPPA - Daisy Blush.@ Seasons Story

Smexy Pj's : .miss chelsea. Rosi Set For 50L Friday

Slippers : CURELESS [+] Snow Bunny Slippers 

Shine.

Pose : Started with the .click. Dandelion pose (For toddleedoos), edited with Animare

Taken @ my homestead using : (Milk Motion) gipsy oak- ribbons and lights

tarte. emma teepee

.Lunaria. Dandelion Field Mesh

I got all freaked out today when I read in my "Yes Man" book (yes, re-reading it, it's good, don't judge me), that someone had their interest PEAKED. Now, I always thought it was PIQUED. So now we're going on a google journey to find out the difference.

Piqued : verb

past tense: piqued; past participle: piqued

1. 1.

   arouse (interest or curiosity).

   "with his scientific curiosity piqued, he was looking forward to being able to analyse his find"

   synonyms:

   stimulate, arouse, rouse, provoke, whet, awaken, excite, kindle, stir, spur, intrigue, galvanize "his scientific curiosity was piqued"

2. 2.

   feel irritated or resentful.

   "she was piqued by his curtness"

   synonyms:

   irritate, annoy, bother, vex, provoke, displease, upset, offend, affront, anger, exasperate, infuriate, gall, irk, get someone's back up, disgruntle, nettle, needle, ruffle, get on someone's nerves, ruffle someone's feathers,

 Peaked : adjective

1. having a peak.

   "a peaked cap"

Well okay then, Penguin Books (I think?), why are you allowing an incorrect term in your most awesome Yes Man story? I'm going to write a stern note to the editor! (Not really, far too lazy for that.)

Anyway. now that my curiosity has been sated, let's only use peaked in relation to things with a peak, yah? Thanks so much.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : Catwa Skin applier - Peach - Snow (Enfer Sombre*)

Ears :.random.Matter.  - Natural Elfie Ears

Hair : DOUX - BYOB Hairstyle 

Headpiece :*LODE* Head Accessory - Tulips & Cherries Blossoms [soft]

Tattoo : DAPPA - Wolves Tattoo. @ Access

Outfit (Bikini, shorts, kimono, choker, waist belt, shoes) : .miss chelsea. Boho Baby Gacha @ The Epiphany

Always waiting.

Pose : FOXCITY. Legs for Days-4 (Slightly edited with Animare)

Background & Prop things : {moss&mink} Tufted Chaise @ FaMESHed

{moss&mink} Oversized Pouf @ FaMESHed

*HEXtraordinary* White Dogwood Vase

*HEXtraordinary* White Dogwood Wreath

Mutresse-Exhausted-Shortie Cats

dust bunny . fresh fruit stand . lemons

dust bunny . quirky planters . pug

dust bunny . at home baking . lemon plant

Apple Fall Antique Ladders w/ Heart String

Kalopsia - Faith's Mirrors

{vespertine}- spider plant.

Taken in the 01. Lagom - PinkKink [Skybox] RARE (Not sure if this is at an event, but thank you so much for the gift, Cutie!)

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : Catwa Skin applier - Peach - Snow (Enfer Sombre*)

Eyes : [JOE SL] GIGI MESH EYES SKY GREEN 

Eyeliner : -SU!- [HUD] Essential Eyeliners (Gacha)

Eyebrows : Bossie. miki eyebrows [omega] 

Ears :.random.Matter.  - Natural Elfie Ears

Freckles : [okkbye] Faux Freckles from an old edition of Powder Pack

Hair : DOUX - Valentina hairstyle 

Headpiece : *HEXtraordinary* Pink Dogwood Wreath - This isn't meant to be worn on your head, but I shoved it there anyway! Some editing may be required :P

Necklaces : .random.Matter. - Kashina - Necklaces @ Equal10

Tattoo : DAPPA - Nocturnal Tattoo @ Anybody

Dress : evani. Polly ribbed dress @ Collabor88

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Hoshiko Wedges @ Access

Say goodbye.

Pose : Ana Poses - Chemnitz 4 (Male pose)

Background : [ isuka ] dead ahead backdrop

All of the things :

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : [Glam Affair] Serenity Applier [ Catwa ]

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Magic Pixie Ears 

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair  <April> (Previously @ the Dubai Event)

Mask : O.M.E.N - Animal Gas-Mask - Goat - BLK (Former Gift)

Tattoo : DAPPA - Hunter Tattoo. @ Vanity Event

Piercing/leash : ~MR~LeashChain~

Gloves : =Zenith=The Hollow Gloves 

Pants : Native - Rolled Jeans @ TMD

Learn to blossom.

Pose : [ Focus Poses ] Hello Spring @ Cosmopolitan

Props : TLG - Dawn's Promise Blue Flower Field 

-Garden- by anc "secret garden" ROSE 

LB_Sunflowers{Field}

HPMD* Garden Tree04 

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : [Glam Affair] Serenity Applier [ Catwa ]

Eyes : LOTUS. (I don't remember which ones! Sorry!)

Hat & Hair : Moon. Hair. // Summer Breeze

Tattoo : DAPPA - Evie Tattoo.@ Spring Flair

Dress (in main picture) :Bueno Late Night Dress @ Collabor88

Bikini : Luder! Miyu Microkini - White

Without a scratch.

Pose : <K&S> Loveliness pose 1 (Slightly edited with animare)

Background : WeArH0uSE [tunnel] Backdrop (it was at Cosmopolitan, but i'm not sure if it's the current round)

How easy it is to be sucked into the negative!

I heard somewhere that for every bad thing you hear about yourself, you hear 13 good things that you glaze over because you've taught yourself not to believe them, so now, whenever I hear someone who doesn't know me say something bad about me, I'll try to recall just five nice things I've heard from people who do know me.

Don't get me wrong, I know I have bad points, but let's face it, unless it's coming to you in the form of asked for constructive criticism, it's going to often appear like an attack... which will probably put the initiator on the defensive, and there's your argument start point.

I won't argue anymore. I can't. I'm too tired.

Instead, I'll internalize, and most of the time I'll come to the conclusion that when it really, really isn't me initiating the negative, it says more about them than it does me.

Love and light.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : [Glam Affair] Serenity Applier [ Catwa ]

Eyeliner : -SU!- [HUD] Essential Eyeliners (Gacha)

Eyes : LOTUS. Camouflage Eyes 12 

Eyebrows : [okkbye] bucolic eyebrows (catwa)

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Magic Pixie Ears 

Glasses : -[TWC]- Asshole Glasses -CLr BLk-

Hair : .Shi : Sa-Rah

Nose ring & Choker : Spookshow - Abyss Set

Tattoo : DAPPA - Claudia Tattoo. @ Kinky Event

Jacket : Native Urban - Melo Jacket @ Uber

Shorts : EVANI - Hanna shorts [LATEX RARE](Gacha)

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Tomomi Patent Heels @ Kinky Event

Take the long way home.

Pose : Foxcity. Made Up-1 (Fatpack Exclusive) (Note, the cupcake over-rides that hand&arm pose)

Cupcake : :::ChicChica::: Sweet Gacha #12

Background ; [BH9] - Brinkles ATM V1

So I succumbed to the fact that I might need a new head (obviously, I didn't, but I still DID). Initially, I thought I wanted the LAQ Ivy head, which I tried and gosh, it's beautiful... but then I started to wonder about what I could do to make it feel like me, and realized that there would be fewer skins, and lesser make up options... so I ran around for a while and tried this one, from Catwa. I still wanted the big eyes and doll-like features from the LAQ head, but with Catwa I knew I could find some skins that would work, due to the marketplace being full of them... and yay! I found one! (and also tried a good few older ones I have in my inventory and a fair amount of those worked too!) 

I really don't know why I have so many mesh heads. Part of me thinks it's just because it's SL and you can literally change your look from day to day in accordance with your budget, and in RL I think we'd all like to do that some times, although it might be a bit Worzel Gummidge (Older British people might remember good ol' Worzel!)

Anywho, have a beautiful day, Spoonies.

xoxo

All of the things.

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : [Glam Affair] Serenity Applier [ Catwa ]

Eyeliner : -SU!- [HUD] Essential Eyeliners (Gacha)

Eyes : LOTUS. Camouflage Eyes 12 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Magic Pixie Ears 

Hair : tram G0210 hair

Choker : Amala- The Ariana Choker - Gold

Tattoo : DAPPA - Antora Tattoo.@ TLC

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Mona Set @ N21

If you do nothing else today, take a moment to listen to this beautifully under-rated song. ♥

Wild with you.

Pose : Flamingo. Don't Let Go

Table & Chairs :  {moss&mink} Mila Garden table & Betty garden chair (Light) @ The Boardwalk Event

I think the Potatoman is trying to pull me into the ocean! 

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier 

Hair : -FABIA- Gacha   <Nansy> @ Lootbox

Tattoo : DAPPA - Divos Tattoo. @ ManCave Event

Swimsuit : +MB+ Bikini of Grace