Headpiece : *HEXtraordinary* Pink Dogwood Wreath - This isn't meant to be worn on your head, but I shoved it there anyway! Some editing may be required :P
I spoke to my RL Mum today. She's a stickler for doing things her way, and as I've been slowly inching my way towards health and happiness, she's not always had the most supportive things to say. "Well hurry up and get it done" has pretty much been the narrative.
We've never had the best relationship, we're a lot alike in personality and we'd clash regularly throughout my teens and.. well, until now, really.
I started to talk to her differently. When I call or visit, I make sure I actually engage with her. I ask her how she is and I listen. I might not have a complete handle on my emotions yet and naturally there's still times where I snap, or she snaps, and we sit in silence for a moment.
Most recently she asked if I liked a pair of shoes she'd purchased for my daughter. I probably should have thought through my answer to be a little more mindful of the effort she went to, but my reply was something along the lines of "Not really, they look like special shoes." She huffed, a lot. For a 70 year old lady she can tantrum like a 6 year old... and rather than just letting it go, I snapped "If you don't want my opinion, don't ask."
I reckon I'm gonna feel bad about that interaction for a while, but I also think that maybe that was important, because I've tended to cower in her presence, and finally, at the grand ol' age of 38, I think I stood up to my Mum.
During my musings about my mental health, I've often wondered how hard it must have been for her growing up, so long ago. It's hardly surprising she has issues due to what she's faced in her past, and having an understanding of that will hopefully allow us to connect on a completely different level.
Anywho. Enjoy the contents of today's blawwwg. Be good to yourself, and each other!
xoxo
Revoul tones for the Arabella Genus Applier skin. I'm wearing RE20, which is top right!
In this set of pictures I'm wearing the DOUX - Brianna Hairstyle and my eyes are Lotus Royalty Mesh Eyes.
I'm boy-Pickle today. I'm not sure if you're aware, but Muggleborn adds the option of 'pouches' to most of their clothing so that it can be worn realistically by femboys and ladies with penises. I'm all for diversity in SL, so this makes my heart very happy.
xoxo
All of the things :
Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara & [V-Tech]Boi Chest Mod For Maitreya
I'm super sleepy in the face today, I think maybe the weekend is catching up with me.. so maybe it's early nights for Pickle for a while? I mean, probably not, but I'll lay it out there and pretend like I'm sensible.
Information that goes here is not here, cus of reasons. -blinks-
So yesterday, my rl daughter turned 16. I officially am OLD. I mean, I'm okay with that, but I'm definitely not okay with the fact that my only baby is now half an adult and legally allowed to do a lot of things I'm not sure I even understand yet... but I'm learning to deal with that! Anyways, that's kinda why you missed a post from me yesterday. We had a delicious meal at a lovely restaurant with the rest of the family, and there were no melt downs (even from my 10 month old niece, yay Harper!), and everyone came home sleepy happy with the fooditis.
In SL news, Essences has completely redone their skin tones, which means you lucky Spoonies get a look at the entire new range, I know, I know... Pickle, you're always making us read, whyyy? Because I know that you secretly want all of the information, right? Maybe not, but if that's the case just look at the pretties and scroll down for all the details!
xoxo
These are the new tones from Essences! Starting top left, there's E1, E2, E3, E4 and on the lower row, E5, E6, E7, E8. I've also chosen to show you all the Lotus eye options too, because that worked so well in the last skin tone thing I did and hey, might as well carry on with being pretend organized, right? (Not like i've been writing this since 10am this morning or anything *cough*)
Anywho, tap the picture to make the picture bigger, or scroll down even moaarrrr to find out where all this stuff is at so you can be adorable, too!
I'm exhausted today, but that's kinda no change really, is it? :P
I think that a whole hour of actually people-ing with people in the RL where people go might have had a bigger effect on me than I first thought, because my sleep is all over the place and I just can't seem to.. well, people. *blinks*
I thought I'd try something different for a picture today. I was feeling kinda basic, and trying to be lazy but it turns out quite a lot goes into these lookbook style pictures, so kudos to those of you who do it regularly!
Generally, I try to credit people when I get inspiration, but for the life of me I can't remember who on facebook did something similar lately. I have added a lil bit of Pickle flair that may have come from other Flickr users, so thank you to everyone who already does this for giving my brain a new thing to try! ♥
I used the Axis hud from LeLutka to get this adorably weird expression!
I've been looking at the new Lelutka heads for a while and I just couldn't decide whether or not I needed a new one.
Turns out I did.
After a quick demo of all of them (ok it wasn't actually that quick...shh!) I decided upon Piper, mostly because it's so completely different to any of the other heads I currently have. I loved that the nose was slightly less 'pretty' and more obscure, so I made a brand new Pickle-fied Lelutka Piper just for me.
I kind of love her to pieces, and it's pushed me out of being cutesy Pickle (that I STILL love and adore!) and back into the realms of slightly more quirky.
I green screened this in a bit of a basic manner, but yay for different things!
I know! two posts in one day? What's going on!
Please don't get used to this. I'm just well rested and currently in advance of my projects, which is awesomeeee and another sign that I'm heading in the right direction!
Today I want to give an absolutely massive shout out to Narcisse. There's no doubt that there has been a massive leap forwards in quality in a fairly short span of time; I find the designs to be inspired yet original, and the textures always blow me away due to the use of materials (Materials are what makes the fabric look kinda shiny, and the shine will move with your camera angle, depending on your windlight. On the dress above, you can also see that certain points of the fabric look raised, and that too is down to the materials.).
Narcisse is in my opinion a brand to watch and I'm super excited to be able to showcase her fabulous products along her journey.
xoxo
I'm joined by Hayyz today, and I'm absolutely chuffed she could pop over and take a picture with me.
I've not always been the kindest person towards her, but I have always been honest... and luckily, we've come to a place where we can poke each other gently and get along rather nicely.
I'm going to drop her flickr >here< and her blog >here< and politely request you give this budding blogger and photographer a follow and show some support. I can't wait to watch her and see how she progresses.
In other news, I've been watching Youtube a LOT lately. I suppose I'm feeding my need for nonsense with that rather than SL drama... which I have mixed feelings about, and will probably be addressed some other time...
Anywho, the commentary guy was saying how he felt like anyone who could be constantly positive and wanted everyone to play happy and be nice was fake, and I wanted to talk about this.
I don't think it's 'fake' to focus on bringing people together and making things happy.
I do think it's fake when you're doing those things because you think it's the right thing to do to make people like you more, or to push you further into a community or scenario based solely on the 'good' you do for everyone else. Let's face it, doing nice things for people makes you feel good. If it didn't feel good there'd be even less of a chance of us actually attempting to please others. I think the important thing to remember in doing nice things, is that we are doing them just to be nice, without alternate motives and without expectations of reciprocation.
The commentary guy also mentioned how being spiteful and angry was a natural emotion, and I definitely agree.. but just because you are angry, or feeling spiteful or some other negative, that doesn't mean you have to follow through and hurt someone because you hurt.
If I'm on my soap box, I apologize. I'm definitely not good at any of this at the moment, but I'm hoping that by putting all my feels into words, and expressing myself I can not only understand everything a little more, but maybe encourage a discussion or thought in others, too. It'll also be a reminder to me to work on the way I deal with my own personal situations, I'm definitely not the woman I was last year, and I hope I continue to grow and learn to accept myself and others.
xoxo
Hi! I'm wearing lipsticks from Go&See here, and yes... i'm trying desperately to provide you with a pretty image when I compare shades, but I'm still working out a good way to do this and so you're left with pictures that are on-a-wonk. Sorry. Practice makes perfect tho - and it doesn't take away from the pretty lip colours, so focus on that pls, dear readers!
Photo taken at my practically unfurnished home (I R LAZY)
I've been asleep most of the day today because HI! I'm Pickle, and my sleeping schedule is back to being absolutely shite! For that reason, have the details without a load of waffle from me!
xoxo
I decided to add another picture of the Go&See Skin here, it's entirely unedited except for the background, taken in CAIWL windlight and I'm wearing the TAN version of the skin. All tones are available in the powder pack! I'm wearing hair from Tableau Vivant, and a Hairbase from Just Magnetized.
This picture was inspired 100% by the absolutely adorable Culprit FuzzyWuzzy!!
Culprit currently has a storewide sale going on, so for a while you can grab this gorgeously fuzzy, cuddly kitty for 50L.. along with some equally as amazing items. The sale is in order to provide the Culprit creators with a brand new roof for their house, and in light of the recent forays into go-fund-me's and other awkward fundraisers, in my opinion this is beneficial for everyone. Low-cost, quality SL items which will equate to real life help. Shop your little hearts out, grab some unique Holiday gifts and have a blast in the process. Lovely jubbly!
Taken on my platform with a random-faffed-with windlight, so no other info!
I may have had a slight rant on facebook yesterday because my brain just wouldn't compute as I was constructing the blog.
If you missed it.. here it is!
"I was gonna post this on my blog, but I just couldn't find the words earlier, but I'm struggling pretty hard today, and not in the regular "Omg my anxiety is ridiculous and I want to sleep 5ever" kinda way (although that too).
Today I'm struggling to keep my fucking mouth shut. It's never been a thing I've been good at honestly, and I'm more likely to shout from the rooftops about how shitty a situation is than shut my trap and let people see it for themselves, but that has never done me any good, and although I'd love to keep keeping shtum I am TIRED. I am tired of watching these people who constantly take and take and take, and then take credit being shown as people worthy of some kind of SL fame, or infamy. I'm tired of being one of those people who have given more than my due, and have been left by the wayside or being painted as the villain in removing these vile people from my SL and my life in general. I know more than people know I know, and although I may say a lot to a select few, it's never the entire story. For fucks sake, be good to each other. I can't keep making excuses for my silence if you're continually being a fucktard."
See, I think it might have gotten a bit of a reaction, not because anyone actually knows what I was talking about (it wasn't one person, nor was it a collective of peoples. There were multiple reasons for me feeling like I needed to rant and most of them are selfish), but because so many of us humans feel so completely taken advantage of by others.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm well aware that everyone has toxic traits, myself included. I'm not perfect, I don't claim to be, but I do try extremely hard every day to remain a pleasant person to be around, but situations like the ones I have been forced into recently make that extremely difficult to maintain, as that stubborn angry bitch in me just wants to rear it's ugly head and snap at the stupid.
Continually I have to remind myself that my idea of a terrible person isn't my next door neighbours idea of a terrible person, and everyone is entitled to their opinions. However, when I see the same people pulling the same stunts over and over again, the angry in me bubbles over, and you get a Pickle Rant.
Today's mission is to calm the fuck down. I'm going to attempt (again) to accept the fact I cannot change people to suit MY agenda. Control isn't love, and more than anything I really DO want to shower kindness over people, no matter how successful I am in this. If I fail today, I'll get up and try and be a better version of myself tomorrow... yet, in being what I consider to be a decent person, I will also be taking care of myself and that means putting me first. I'm a very loud, very opinionated introvert, and sometimes people miss the introversion because of the noise I am capable of making, but I need to take care of myself and ensure my energy is good so I'll be collecting my spoons and distributing them far more wisely.
xoxo
Essences - Luisa for Genus in tones Pale 01 & Pale 02
Essences - Luisa for Genus in tones Medium 01 and Medium 02
Essences - Luisa for Genus in tones Dark 01 and Dark 02
As usual, the Essences skin comes with 6 eyebrow options (actually i think the "no brow" option might be new, but yay! New!), black, brown, ginger, blonde, red and no brows, not shown here today because I derped out!
