Some good.

Pose : K&S - // No chance to be without you 

Swans : Culprit Swan Seat White (BENTO)

Culprit Swan Seat Black (BENTO)

Available at a 100% Donation to Relay For Life @ The Home & Garden Expo

Taken at my homestead.

I spoke to my RL Mum today. She's a stickler for doing things her way, and as I've been slowly inching my way towards health and happiness, she's not always had the most supportive things to say. "Well hurry up and get it done" has pretty much been the narrative.

We've never had the best relationship, we're a lot alike in personality and we'd clash regularly throughout my teens and.. well, until now, really.

I started to talk to her differently. When I call or visit, I make sure I actually engage with her. I ask her how she is and I listen. I might not have a complete handle on my emotions yet and naturally there's still times where I snap, or she snaps, and we sit in silence for a moment.

Most recently she asked if I liked a pair of shoes she'd purchased for my daughter. I probably should have thought through my answer to be a little more mindful of the effort she went to, but my reply was something along the lines of "Not really, they look like special shoes." She huffed, a lot. For a 70 year old lady she can tantrum like a 6 year old... and rather than just letting it go, I snapped "If you don't want my opinion, don't ask."

I reckon I'm gonna feel bad about that interaction for a while, but I also think that maybe that was important, because I've tended to cower in her presence, and finally, at the grand ol' age of 38, I think I stood up to my Mum.

During my musings about my mental health, I've often wondered how hard it must have been for her growing up, so long ago. It's hardly surprising she has issues due to what she's faced in her past, and having an understanding of that will hopefully allow us to connect on a completely different level.

Anywho. Enjoy the contents of today's blawwwg. Be good to yourself, and each other!

xoxo

Revoul tones for the Arabella Genus Applier skin. I'm wearing RE20, which is top right!

In this set of pictures I'm wearing the DOUX - Brianna Hairstyle and my eyes are Lotus Royalty Mesh Eyes.

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : GENUS Project (Original)

Skin : Lefort by Revoul Arabella Genus Applier (+ Chubby Body Applier for Belleza) @ Collabor88

Eyelids : L'Etre - Natural mesh eyelids

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Rox Ears

Hair : *ARGRACE* MAYU (Not sure if this is still available!)

Tattoo : DAPPA - Petal Tattoo. @ Access

Bikini : +MB+ Brianna Bikini 

Nails : Ascendant - Pretentious Nails 

Finding my way.

Pose (Slightly modified) : FOXCITY. Long Grass (1L on Marketplace)

Propthings : HPMD* Garden Tree09 with Lights - pink b

*alirium* DownyGrass [Dried]

LAGOM - Fireflies Pink

Fantasy Gacha Carnival opened up yesterday and I am super excited to bring you this gorgeous set from deviousMind. It's fauny, so naturally it was gonna be immediate Pickle-Love!

Check out all the details below! 

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier @ Uber

Hair : *ARGRACE* UREI  (I'm not sure if these are still available. Last time a friend went to look, they couldn't find the editorial versions of the Argrace hairstyles in world, and they appear to be removed from marketplace too - I can't stop using them though because they're truly beautiful. Other stores such as Tableau Vivant may have some similar though!)

Outfit & Antlers : !dM deviousMInd "Cherry" @ The Fantasy Gacha Carnival

This time.

Pose : It's from LaBaguette, but I'm not sure which exactly as it's in one of my AO's

Location : Malal Autumn Fall

I netflix a LOT. Since it came out, I've been watching a show called "Crazy Ex Girlfriend", which pretty much summarizes how I see myself. The main character is a chick called Rebecca, and for the first two or three seasons of the show, she was just absolutely bonkers and although I've never plotted to kill someones parents or moved across country for a guy I knew when I was 12, I have definitely made some irrational decisions and for that reason, I feel a sort of kinship with her.

The program is utterly ridiculous, and I'm completely aware of how ridiculous it is, which only makes me love it even more! Last season, Rebecca was diagnosed with having a personality disorder similar to mine. All the symptoms and even some fixes were mentioned, and it happened at a time that my self awareness hit it's peak. Now we're following her hit her stride and really take care of her mental health. Today's episode had me in my feels. For the entire duration of the show she's fallen for inappropriate guys who made her even more insane than she already was - not because they're terrible people, but because they were somehow broken too and their broken didn't gel together well. This episode, she almost kissed one of her male friends, but stopped... realizing it wouldn't end positively. I absolutely fucking bawled, not even gonna lie. 

It's difficult to explain, but the growth in her character resonated so strongly with me, that I just wanted to reach out and hug her, and tell her how completely proud of her I was, and I think that's partially because I really do see a lot of myself in her, and deep down I'm proud of me, too.

I know, I know... Pickle, you're a freakin' weirdo!

Still, today is a good day to reflect, and to see how far I've come - even if there's still a long way ahead of me. 

I hope today is positive for you, too.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : GENUS Project - Genus  Bento head  - Mocap (BETA!)

Skin : [okkbye] bunnie 

Eyes : HERMONY / EYES OF THE BEHOLDER @ TMD

Hair : *ARGRACE* KOHAKU 

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Holi @ Tannenbaum

I think I've used this song before, but hi. I'm Pickle, and this is my blog - so listen to it again, k? ♥

Gentle touch.

Pose : FOXCITY Milk Bath-1 (Fatpack exclusive) - Edited with Animare

Props : ~*GOD*~ Water Lilly 

[DDD] Twinkle Patches 

nani - dreamy pond - lotus set (Gacha)

[DDD]  Magical Bubble 

{anc} fish shop daughters / lotus:white (Gacha)

[The Emporium] Floating Candle (Store inactive)

Absolutely LOVE how this photo came out, and just as well, too, because it took me bloody ages to capture! 

I also tried some new things with the ripple detailing. Every time I do a picture involving water, I like to add a little something new, and I'm thrilled with this one! Now I just need to work out how to get droplets on my skin... *flails wildly*

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : DeeTaleZ *Appliers* LeLutka Heads "Face Dominique" 

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-MAY 

Eyeshadow : Veechi - Vivacious Shadow @ Uber

Ears : L'Etre - Crystal mesh ears 

Hair : *ARGRACE* Akane

Tattoo : DAPPA - Keegan Tattoo. @ Level Event

Rings & Bracelets : Amala - The Jacqueline Hand Bracelets & Stacking rings

Every melody.

Pose : (See below for explanation) *!R.O!* Violin BENTO Pose 2 (includes violin & bow)

Location : Bliss 

Once again I'm featuring the amazing Violin poses from Reve Obscura.

I think that because these poses resonated with me so hard, I needed to make them extra special in terms of fantasy and doing something different, so hence we have a crazy Centaur Pickle who seems to want to play the violin in the moonlight by the sea - because why the fudge not?

The pose itself is made for regular human avatars, which means from the tummy up I'm using the Violin pose. Technically the body I'm wearing isn't a horse, it's a deer (which is just as cute, obvs), and when you wear it, there's an AO that is automatically started, so of course, your arms wiggle around with your existing animations, but the newly acquired hooves will behave as though they have a life of their own. The raising up on the hind legs is part of that AO, so as you can imagine there was a little bit of timing involved in taking this picture!

Because of the nature of this outfit, I'm not doing regular grey background in-world type pictures today. That being said, have a peek at all the goodies below, so you can become your very own deer/centaur person thing!

xoxo

All of the things  : 

Body : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara 

Head : CATWA Magy

Skin : [theSkinnery] Laura

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes

Hair : *ARGRACE* UREI 

Hairband & Birds : CURELESS [+] Flower Kissers Tiara 

Chain & Bones : Moon Elixir - Valkyrie - Bodychain 

Pasties :  Moon Elixir  - Courtesan (Gacha)

Deer Body : Tentacio & .{PSYCHO:Byts}. Childrens of Diana RARE (Gacha)

Unstable.

Pose :  *!R.O!* Serene BENTO Pose (Modified head position VERY slightly with Animare)

Hair : *ARGRACE* Akane

Props : -tres blah- Hodgepodge - Wine Duet

-tres blah- Hodgepodge - Tossed Clothes

Junk Food - Sashay Chips 

This picture reminds me of being 18. I wasn't naked at the time, but I was very definitely drunk.

I had decided to have a party while my parents were out of town, and well, the result was that somehow my ex boyfriend showed up. It hadn't been that long since we'd split, and seeing him sitting out in the garden on MY fucking swing kinda made me mad. I don't even remember if I'd invited him, or why I would have if he was my ex. I'm not one of those girls who generally stays friends with their exes because I firmly believe they're exes for a reason. Anyway, I digress.

I'd taken it upon myself to mix vodka and whiskey and with coke and drink it like I'm some badass. I'm totally not a badass. I'm a lightweight. Needless to say after a while I found myself in the above position in my parents hallway, with my partygoing friends stepping over me while I struggled to not hurl everywhere.

Sooner or later, my friend Keith (who was also friends with my ex) came over and sat with me. With the room spinning, and somehow through my own drunkness, being extremely aware of how very drunk he was too, he leaned over me and shook me gently. "Hey. Hey." << Keith.

"Ughsd;lf?" << Me.

"Are you okay?" Again, Keith.

"Uhgg!" I think I mumbled something like that, in the affirmative.

"I want you to go to your happy place. We've all got one. Go to your happy place." << Keith.

I'm not sure why I remember this. Or why it was so important to go to a happy place when I was quite contentedly drunk (although incapable of moving), but I was quite glad of Keith when I decided that being on my back wasn't as nice as I first thought, and had to get up the stairs to hurl. Unfortunately, at that time the toilet looked like the eye of a needle, so I just threw up in the bath. Sweet Keith held my hair back until I'd finished and then tucked me into my parents bed, and continued back downstairs to party with the rest of my friends.

I'm nothing if not a gracious host, so when at 6am I awoke, starving and thirsty, I made all my remaining friends an amazeballs English breakfast... after returning the next-door neighbours garden gnomes because they were in the freezer, the fridge, the microwave and the oven.

Sometimes, I miss being 18.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya (ALL Belleza bodies have been updated to BENTO!  YAY!)

Head : CATWA Magy

Skin : ItGirls - Catwa Skin Applier - Brigit 

Eyes : -SU!- Ophelia Eyes Fatpack /ULTRARARE/ (Gacha)

Freckles : Bossie. freckles & beauty marks [catwa]

Eyebrows : Bossie. Annie eyebrows [catwa] 

Eyeshadow :  -SU!-  Oksana Eyeshadow 

Lipstick : [PF] CATWA LIPSTICK - Pure Matte (Nudes)

Septum : MONS / MESH - Septum Ring (style30) 

Nose Piercing : MONS / MESH - Septum Ring (style23) 

Hair : Lamb. Empty

Collar : .random.Matter. - Cermet Collar 

Tattoo : DAPPA - Seeker Tattoo. @ Mens only Monthly

Panties : From the :::insanya::: Olga outfit

Hooked.

Pose :  <K&S>  Pole Dancer ~ 1 (Non-Bento)

Hair : *ARGRACE* TSUMUGI

Background & Propstuffs : 

MadPea Club Tenebris  @ RLD 

Shown in picture - MadPea Club Tenebris (Building interior/bar)

MadPea Tenebris Play Wall

MadPea Tenebris Club Neon Sign (kindasorta at the top of the photo)

MadPea Tenebris Cage

MadPea Tenebris Couch

MadPea Tenebris Dancing Pole

{bludshot} - "Deep Intruder" Tray (Dirty) @ RLD 

{bludshot} - "Restrain Me" Tray (Dirty) 

MadPea Bow Bells Gacha items

Shown in picture - MadPea Bow Bells Boozer Creme De Menthe

MadPea Bow Bells Boozer Whiskey Bottle

MadPea Bow Bells Boozer Brandy Bottle

MadPea Bow Bells Boozer Tall Bar Stool 

MadPea Bow Bells Boozer Red Wine Bottle

[NikotiN] Poker Table - Cigar Ashtray

oyasumi / moneycase 

B&W Money Pack, Full Perm

Mutresse - Ribald Butler - Bartender (Gacha)

I think I may have squealed and had an "OMG!" moment when I saw this set from MadPea at this round of Red Light District.

A very bad secret I keep is that I used to have a brothel in SL. I mean, a lot of us have maybe dabbled in the whole sex industry in SL, purely because it's SL and it's kinda naughty, but still safe. But back in the day (We're talking 2008-2013) I would have absolutely killed to have had a set like this. Due to time restrictions I was unable to take a bunch of photographs for this, but let me just tell you if you have plans to open up a club of ANY type, I can really see this build being a centrepiece, the floor is open, there are cute little cubby holes for a more private feel, while still being able to interact with the rest of the room, and there's also a smaller upstairs area perfect for adboards or photo's or a snuggle area. Really, just the building itself couldn't be more perfect.

Add in all the extras - the poles, the lighting, the hanging cages, the seating, etc etc etc, you legit have a fully formed club that just needs a couple of personal touches to really push it over the edge. 

I want to briefly touch on the CandyDoll boots, too. 

Something that always makes my heart happy is when you are able to style items in a way that can be downright filthy, or adorably cute. Those multi-style-able items are a constant when you purchase anything from CandyDoll, and the colour selections are out of this world too. So whether you're a dark, brooding goth chick, a cute pig-tailed babygirl or a mishmash somewhere in the middle, you're bound to adore these boots, and most of the CandyDoll creations, too!

I'm having an absolute blast with these items from Red Light District, and I sincerely hope you are also. If you haven't already, make sure you check out their incredibly detailed website >Here< because it truly is easy to navigate and beautifully laid out.

xoxo

All of the things :

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Magy

Skin : Go&See * Katarina * @ The Skin Fair (South Sim)

Eyes :  LOTUS. Lovely Eyes

Hair : little bones. Lana 

Tattoo : *Bolson / Tattoo - Amadeus @ TMD 

Bodysuit : [ abrasive ] Sinful Bodysuit @ RLD 

Boots : _CandyDoll_ Alexa Fishnet @ Whore Couture Fair 8

Make your choice.

Pose : Foxcity. Solitude - 4 (Slightly edited)

Location : Consent. Landing Point.

Includes : Refuge - Nautica Set @ Remnant

Skin fair opens today (8th March) and for those of you not aware, get yourself excited!!

Today I'm showing off the Lotus "Louise" skin. I've tried to edit this main picture minimally, and all i've done is add shading and a slight colour balance on the windlight I used because I believe it's important to show you how the skin looks in reality. If you need an entirely unedited photograph, the three grey pictures below will show you the skin, in tone 01, on ultra but with no shadows on the firestorm viewer. 

I'm thoroughly impressed with this skin. I believe the body has been completely re-done in time for the skin fair, and they are smooth, the shading is perfect, and I am in love with the face so much - I didn't even need to change my shape on the Uma head from catwa! That's a massive bonus for me!

Behind the flailing Pickle you'll notice a gorgeous seat and wooden box that totally looks like it belongs either under the sea in a fancy sunken ship, or on the deck of a gorgeous weather-beaten chalet close to the beach. It's from Refuge, who are fast becoming a favourite of mine in terms of home decor, especially because the items are so diverse, you're bound to find something to suit your taste. It can be found at the Remnant event currently going on within SL, and is now a permanent addition to the landing point at Consent!

When I started this post, I wanted to make it so that it looked like I was crawling out of the sea after a ship-wreck. Now however, I'm getting more like vibes of the Little Mermaid after she sells her voice to gain her legs, which is why I kinda cut my legs off. Think of this as the  Little Mermaid waking up, dazed and confused, and she hasn't yet taken a look below her waist to find out if her wish has been granted.

However you view this picture, I hope you find something that piques your interest, and as usual, all Landmarks are listed below.

xoxo 

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : LOTUS. Louise Skin @ The Skin Fair

Head : CATWA Uma

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eye Applier : LOTUS.  Studio Eyes (Gacha) @ TCF (Having watched the organizers over the last few years, & in light of recent new issues, I'll no longer be supporting this event by promoting them with a landmark to their location.)

Hair : *ARGRACE* HIKARI 

Nails : Astralia - Compatible mesh nails system

Nail Polish : Hello Dave - Nail Appliers - Astralia - The French One

Wet Undies : nani - dreamy pond - wet set 2 @ The Arcade

Bring me a dream.

Pose :   Sari-Sari - Sleep (bento) @ The Seasons Story

On facebook today & yesterday someone on my feed was asking whether it's usual for people in SL to just go "ghost" without warning. Apparently, they had been in a relationship with someone, and everything seemed happy... when they just didn't return.

This has happened to me more than once, as I expressed in her thread. But honestly, is it that much different from going on a few dates with someone for real, and having them ignore your texts and calls and never seeing them again? 

I'm not legitimizing this kind of behaviour... in fact, it's utterly contemptible in my book. I am however, surprised that it surprises people.

SL is used by many for a fantasy outlet. Then there are a few people who believe SL & RL correlate in some way, but aren't directly connected and finally, there's the Secondlife equates to me in RL group. I believe it's important when engaging in any type of relationship to find out which group your new friend belongs to.

Of course, it's far more complicated than just the three groups I have listed. There's no reason why you can't dip your toes contentedly into all three at the same time, or have friendships and relationships with people within all of those sectors. I do think that those you connect with -usually- tend to be those who think in similar terms as you do, but of course, there are going to be those who want to 'play games'. Some people are playing the game because it gives them some odd sense of power and others are playing the game unwittingly, usually because they're insecure and are pretending to know what they want, while not having a clue as to who they really are.

Ultimately, it's like everything. If you don't take a chance, you'll never know what might be.

And if you do take a chance, you need to be prepared to get hurt and learn to move on from it.

My details today are very brief, but I hope you manage to find some treasures from them! This Miss Chelsea set is fuggin' amazing, and i'm not even sorry I've blogged it twice in two days and worn it out already - and Epiphany hasn't even begun yet!

All the things, Santi : 

Body, Hands & Feet : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body 

Skin : STRAY DOG - Caleb

Eyelids : L'Etre - Natural mesh eyelids

Head :  CATWA HEAD Daniel

Hair : Lock & Tuft, Denver @ Man cave 

Beard : DOUX - Mesh beard 

Tattoo : Dappa - No Love

All the things, Pickle :

Body, Hands & Feet :  Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Uma

Skin : [theSkinnery] Laura @ Collabor88

Eyelids : L'Etre - Natural mesh eyelids

Moles & Freckles :  Go&See  * Bae * Moles - Pallete @ The Seasons Story

Hair : *ARGRACE* Akane 

Tattoo : DAPPA - Vandal Tattoo @ Kinky Event

Shirt & Shorts : .miss chelsea. Day to Slay Gacha @ The Epiphany (Opens 15th Jan)

There goes paradise.

Pose :  FOXCITY. Pool Bunny 3m

Pool : .:Bee designs:. Paradise Swimming Pool

All of the things :

Body Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : Glam Affair - Moana - Catwa Mesh Head Applier - Jamaica (Gacha) @ LootBox

Head : CATWA Lona 

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eye Applier : Go&See * Night * Catwa Eyes @ Men Only Monthly

Eyelashes : WarPaint* Poolside Falsies @ Applique

Hair : *ARGRACE* HIKARI

Necklace : (Yummy) Layered Drop Necklace 

Tattoo : DAPPA - Yeon Tattoo @ Men Only Monthly

Nails : Astralia - Compatible mesh nails system

Nail Polish : Hello Dave - Nail Appliers - Astralia - The Bold One (Free Gift @ Astralia)

Bikini & Fishnet : Foxes - Riley - Lara - Outfit - White RARE (Gacha) @ LootBox

Good news.

Pose : FOXCITY. Surface-6

Background : anxiety %cubicle (w/light) @ The Chapter Four

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara - Update out with bento fingers! (v.4.0)

Skin : LOTUS. Trish Skin Applier (Catwa) GROUP GIFT

Head : CATWA Lona 

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes

Eye Applier : Elysian (Vibrant)
Eyelashes : [okkbye] Amaris Eyelashes (CATWA) From March Powder Pack 
Piercing :  ~LF~ SEX! -Catwa/Lelutka Bento @ Bodyfy (Open 8th April)
Hairbase : Just Magnetized - Basic Hairbase - set 03 for CATWA
Hair : *ARGRACE* AZAMI
Tattoo : THIS IS WRONG Conceptual tattoo @ Bodyfy (Open 8th April)
Necklace : MINIMAL - Tysa Necklace Gold @ Uber
Bodysuit : Tee*fy Taylor Bodysuit Dress
Shoes : fri. - Aloy Booties @ Uber

So what if I'm crazy?

Pose : Black Cats poses - Balance 5

Background : Boudoir - Wonderland Garden Island

All of the things :

Body & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara  

Skin : Insol: 2 IN 1 skin Diana, ST 'Peach' @ Uber

Head : CATWA Lona 

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes

Eye Applier : ZORA - KANY EYES (CATWA APPLIER)
Eyeshadow : Veechi - Obsession Liners, Veechi - Glitz Liner
Eyelashes : [okkbye] Amaris Eyelashes (CATWA) From March Powder Pack 
Lipstick : [PF] CATWA Glossy Pout
Hair : *ARGRACE* IBUKI
Collar : #Foxy Bowie Choker
Outfit : .AiShA. Elvina Gacha @ The Guardians Event
Hands : -VA-F-VISTA BENTO PROHANDS
Nails : #EMPIRE - Coffin Nails - Medium
Nail Varnish : Veechi - Coven Nails [omega]
Shoes : Glamistry - EDELWEISS Heels

Where's my mind?

Pose : *!R.O!* Magic Bento Pose

Location : Chakryn Forest

All of the things :

Body & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara  

Skin : Bold & Beauty :: Lien (Catwa Applier)

Head : CATWA Lona @ Skin fair

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes

Eye Applier : {S0NG} :: Reira Eyes - Catwa Applier @ Kustom9
Eyelashes : [okkbye] Lithe Eyelashes (CATWA) @ Skin fair 
Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Ears Elf HD
Hair : *ARGRACE* KOMA
Outfit & Bow : .AiShA. Ranger Gacha @ Loot Box
Hands : -VA-F-VISTA BENTO PROHANDS 
Sandals : REIGN. - BOHO LACED SANDALS