Build it up, tear it down.

Uh. I forgot to note the pose again. Sorry. 

I was wondering today, at what point does a conversation go from being a conversation between two adults, to somehow delving into drama? 

Nothing has happened to me, so no need to be concerned or to start ruminating on who Pickle's gotten into a conflict with... calm yer loins dear Spoonies!

But literally 80% of the 'drama' I have had in Second Life has been me saying "Hey, I don't like that. It made me feel this way." and another party going "Well don't you get your drama panties in a twist drama llama, if you don't like this dramatic thing, it's all your dramatic fault."

Now this can be people I've known for years and years (but mostly not, because by that point we've gotten a rapport about accepting the other has feelings, apologizing for whatever we've said or at least discussing it so we understand where the other is coming from), or it is, more likely, someone I have known for days.

Is it really a case of "You're too sensitive, Pickle!" or is it more of a case of any time someones REAL feelings get bought into SL and it's not related to the happy endorphin filled feeling of love or lust, or want or need, it's suddenly backpedal backpedal pushaway?

I realize to some this might sound like I'm one of those people who get offended all the damn time, but I've reached a point in my life where I can accept that different people have thought processes that don't match mine. If you can provide a logical reason as to why you believe something that I find morally wrong, I'll probably come around to the fact that you have a point, but I'll still believe what I want to believe with a greater understanding of the other side. I have friends of all walks of life with very, very different beliefs, Muslims, Christians, Catholics, Trump supporters, Transgender, Gay, Straight, Male, Female, Black, White and Brown. I legitimately have no issues with -people- I have issues with their interpretations of dramatic. But ultimately, I'm responsible for my own feelings... and that too is something I need to remember.

If you're wrong, take accountability and just fess up. Hell, even if you're not wrong, if you've upset someone APOLOGIZE, meaningfully and allow the beautiful parts of that potential friendship to blossom, or walk away with a lighter heart and less of a headache.

xoxo

I thought I'd show you a back view of the pretty hair from Fabia available at the Gacha Garden.

The bow has it's very own hud and you can choose between some solid colours and a few beautiful patterns. Loving this hairstyle so hard!

The Candy Skin from Revoul is available in six tones. RE05, RE10, RE15, RE20, RE25 and RE30. I've chosen to wear RE10 in my main picture today!

It also has six candy coloured lipsticks and a shape, not blogged, so make sure you run over and go demo all the pretties! 

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Shape : Kaleidoscope : Revolution Shape.

Skin : Lefort by Revoul.Candy Catwa Applier @ Equal10

Head : CATWA Catya

Eyes : LOTUS. Humanity Eyes @ The Gacha Garden (Opens 1st May)

Ears : L'Etre - Pure mesh ears 

Hair : -FABIA-<Vita> @ The Gacha Garden (Opens 1st May)

Tattoo : DAPPA - Chris Tattoo.@ A+ Event

Top : +MB+ Ellie Top @ Level Event (opens 30th April)

Peace of mind.

Pose : [ La Baguette] nomimo (G.sit) 5

Taken at my homestead. ♥

I think I've expressed before that I have trouble just letting things go, and I'm not entirely sure why it's so troublesome for me. The smallest interactions can leave me examining every little thing I said, and even when I have the best intentions my message often ends up becoming quite mixed.

That being said, I want to make something clear. 

I blog because I love it. When it comes to expressing an opinion about blogging, it is always that - my opinion. I don't think I'm any more 'right' than anyone else, nor do I believe that I am above anyone else. Blogging is 100% an art form, and when given the correct equipment for your art, you can excel beyond even your own expectations. If you're not given the equipment, it's your responsibility to find the items you'd like to blog. It's no-one's responsibility to provide you with the tools, but should you decide you'd like to apply for a blogger position, it's entirely my belief that you should grab that opportunity with both hands, remembering during the course of your blogger career with that brand how extremely lucky you are to be granted the creativity of the brand in question.

It's my belief that not only do you have a responsibility to that brand, but also to the applicants to that brand that weren't lucky enough to have access to the products you're now blogging. Suggesting that you'd like to skip over certain items because they don't fit your style is -in my opinion- insulting, because you APPLIED for that position (If you didn't apply and the creators are friends, where the fudge is your loyalty to your friends? Are you still a blogger, or are you always a friend, regardless of your photography talent? Are you taking up a blogger spot as well, or are you just lucky enough to be passed items from your friend? This makes my brain sore.). Other people applied that would wholeheartedly grasp at those products and happily, excitedly show off the amazingly talented creators we're lucky enough to see all over secondlife. If you blog, and find yourself in a position where the product no longer brings you happiness, GIVE UP YOUR SPOT for that blogger team, as there are probably a bunch of people waiting for it.

It saddens me daily that there seems to be such entitlement when it comes to blogging.

Although without a doubt I am extremely lucky, I am by no means one of the best bloggers in SL, despite my passion, despite my attempts at continuing to improve, but I don't have to be the best to enjoy every minute of what I do. I am however, blessed with some exceptionally talented people who are generous enough to grant me their items to attempt to make some pretties with, and damned if i'll sit here while bloggers belittle the beauty and generosity creators show on a regular basis.

Okay I feel better now! Have a beautiful day, Spoonies and never take anything for granted, because there is always someone wishing they had what you have.

All of the things : 

Body & Feet :  -Belleza- Freya

Hands : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara (This was so I could wear the nails from #Shook, I selected the "Slink Fit" option on the Belleza Hud, and then added the Maitreya hands. It's worth noting, there may be the occasional clothing clipping moment with this, as the belleza arms and Maitreya arms are shaped differently)

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : [Glam Affair] Serenity Applier [ Catwa ]

Eyes : LOTUS. Camouflage Eyes 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Magic Pixie Ears 

Hair : Sintiklia  Hair Titania @ Collabor88

Headpiece : *LODE* Head Accessory - Tulips & Cherries [pale yellow red] (Gacha) @ Shiny Shabby

Epaulets : *LE* Valyrian Lady Shoulders Gold RARE (Gacha) (Not sure if this is still available, it's pretty old!)

Bodysuit : +MB+ Nena Bodysuit @ Spring Flair

Nails : #SHOOK - Baddie Claws 

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Koemi Heels @ Uber

Love a show.

Pose & Chips : Amitie Food Porn 03 (Gacha)

Props : Culprit Fatbottomed Corgi @ Bloom

Junk Food - DIY Movie Snack Bar

Junk Food - Prongles Can

Junk Food - Space Nachos

[PM}Pixel Mode - I Am Geek Picture

[PM}Pixel Mode - Think Picture

+Half-Deer+ Dog Clutter 

+Half-Deer+ Fast Food Clutter

Pewpew! Food Pewrn 

_CandyDoll_Fancy Rug Gray

{moss&mink} Bethany Sofa 

(epia) - Retro Television

My local corner shop is offering Flaming Hot Twisted Cheeto's, so I purchased two packs, and watched a huge amount of the Great British Bake Off today. I really feel like this picture is an entire mood!

Love and light, Spoonies!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : [Glam Affair] Serenity Applier [ Catwa ]

Eyeliner : -SU!- [HUD] Essential Eyeliners (Gacha)

Eyes : LOTUS. Camouflage Eyes 12 

Hair : Lamb. Focus @ FaMESHed

Shirt : Tres Blah - Crop Tee - Petty @ FaMESHed

Shorts : [G-SHOT] COBIE Shorts 

Socks : +MB+ Sofia Stockings

Wild with you.

Pose : Flamingo. Don't Let Go

Table & Chairs :  {moss&mink} Mila Garden table & Betty garden chair (Light) @ The Boardwalk Event

I think the Potatoman is trying to pull me into the ocean! 

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier 

Hair : -FABIA- Gacha   <Nansy> @ Lootbox

Tattoo : DAPPA - Divos Tattoo. @ ManCave Event

Swimsuit : +MB+ Bikini of Grace 

Some good.

Pose : K&S - // No chance to be without you 

Swans : Culprit Swan Seat White (BENTO)

Culprit Swan Seat Black (BENTO)

Available at a 100% Donation to Relay For Life @ The Home & Garden Expo

Taken at my homestead.

I spoke to my RL Mum today. She's a stickler for doing things her way, and as I've been slowly inching my way towards health and happiness, she's not always had the most supportive things to say. "Well hurry up and get it done" has pretty much been the narrative.

We've never had the best relationship, we're a lot alike in personality and we'd clash regularly throughout my teens and.. well, until now, really.

I started to talk to her differently. When I call or visit, I make sure I actually engage with her. I ask her how she is and I listen. I might not have a complete handle on my emotions yet and naturally there's still times where I snap, or she snaps, and we sit in silence for a moment.

Most recently she asked if I liked a pair of shoes she'd purchased for my daughter. I probably should have thought through my answer to be a little more mindful of the effort she went to, but my reply was something along the lines of "Not really, they look like special shoes." She huffed, a lot. For a 70 year old lady she can tantrum like a 6 year old... and rather than just letting it go, I snapped "If you don't want my opinion, don't ask."

I reckon I'm gonna feel bad about that interaction for a while, but I also think that maybe that was important, because I've tended to cower in her presence, and finally, at the grand ol' age of 38, I think I stood up to my Mum.

During my musings about my mental health, I've often wondered how hard it must have been for her growing up, so long ago. It's hardly surprising she has issues due to what she's faced in her past, and having an understanding of that will hopefully allow us to connect on a completely different level.

Anywho. Enjoy the contents of today's blawwwg. Be good to yourself, and each other!

xoxo

Revoul tones for the Arabella Genus Applier skin. I'm wearing RE20, which is top right!

In this set of pictures I'm wearing the DOUX - Brianna Hairstyle and my eyes are Lotus Royalty Mesh Eyes.

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : GENUS Project (Original)

Skin : Lefort by Revoul Arabella Genus Applier (+ Chubby Body Applier for Belleza) @ Collabor88

Eyelids : L'Etre - Natural mesh eyelids

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Rox Ears

Hair : *ARGRACE* MAYU (Not sure if this is still available!)

Tattoo : DAPPA - Petal Tattoo. @ Access

Bikini : +MB+ Brianna Bikini 

Nails : Ascendant - Pretentious Nails 

Different DNA.

Pose : FOXCITY. Formal VOL1-2m (Big gown)

When Muggleborn popped out these antenna I got super excited, and immediately started contemplating how I could get to be a Picklefied Alien. I'm not sure I entirely pulled it off, but I did have a good time trying! It also meant that I could grab a Lumae skin, which I have been entirely neglecting (sorry!), because the textures to match the majority of the Lumae collection are included with the antenna. Also included are the textures you need to tint and match whatever skin you're wearing yourself so yay!

This week has been a bit weird for me. I feel a bit like I'm stuck in limbo again, barely moving forward. The only good part of that is that things are steady... and maybe I'm just unused to that.

I've still been watching a bunch of mental health stuff on Youtube, but for entertainment I have been revisiting Gossip Girl on Netflix... why? Because of Chuck Bass and my oddly inappropriate girl-crush on the bad-boy that might turn good. Still, when Potato's away, I need a lil eye candy (don't hate me babe!)

Here's hoping your days are filled with happy smiles, and any rainclouds that appear for you swiftly depart.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Skin : ! Lumae Fantasy : All Heads - Ethesi (for more options, check my previous post >Here<)

Head : CATWA Lona
Ears : BentBox Sylvan Ears 

Eyes : LOTUS. Reflection Eyes @ Equal 10 (Fantasy version)

Hair : Entwined Blythe  @ Equal 10

Antenna : +MB+ Antenna

Bra top : PLX. "Peyton " Bra @ Equal 10

Tattoo : DAPPA - Calla Tattoo. @ Harajuku Event

Panties : Blueberry - Tinker Panties

I give in.

Pose : FOXCITY. Breezy-7m (edited with Animare)

Background : anxiety %local v1

I often forget about the Lelutka heads, but then I put one on and suddenly, it brings back how much I abso-freaking-lutley adore them. Every single head I've purchased from them (and I now have at least five) has bought something new.. no matter how small, and each time they up their game I'm at a loss for words. Needless to say when I saw the new Go&See skin specifically for the new brand of Lelutka heads, I made big ol' grabby hands for it!
I also decided to do the Slink body with the petite add-on for mah bewbies. I LOVE playing with (myself? LOL) my avatar, creating shapes that I believe to be fairly realistic.. and the petite add-on for the Slink helps me achieve that as I was never keen on the way the hourglass body breasts protruded.. but I am a huge fan of this shape. It's fair to say this was inspired not only by the new Go&See skin, but also Muggleborn, who go above and beyond to rig for bodies and augments that not every creator manages to include.
I probably don't say this enough, but I am SO amazingly grateful for all the beautiful brands that trust me with their creations, without their items, I'm almost certain my creativity would have been stunted as often I need a little push!
xoxo

Oh look! TONES! \o/
Starting at the top left, there's Albi, Goth, Pale, Witchy
Bottom left, Tan, Tropic, Choco, Cola and I think a new tone (?) Dusky

All of the things :

Body : Slink Physique Hourglass Mesh Body  & Petite chest augment
Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3
Skin : Go&See * Gwen * Lelutka ~ Powder Pack [2.19]
Eyes : -SU!- Medora Eyes /Glitch Wasted/ (Gacha)
Hair :tram I0210 hair @ Uber
Necklace & Armbands : Avada~ Theodora Necklace & Cassia Armband @ The Secret Affair
Feathers : .aisling. Velasco
Nipple piercings : - Fika - Imprison Piercing
Dress : +MB+ Rosalee Dress  @ Whore Couture (Opens March 1st LM to follow, demo in mainstore)
Nails : Ascendant - Pretentious Nails 01

It pours.

Pose : FOXCITY. Rain-7-2

Taken @ Backdrop City

I'm boy-Pickle today. I'm not sure if you're aware, but Muggleborn adds the option of 'pouches' to most of their clothing so that it can be worn realistically by femboys and ladies with penises. I'm all for diversity in SL, so this makes my heart very happy.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara &  [V-Tech]Boi Chest Mod For Maitreya 

Head & Eyeliner : GENUS Project (babyface)

Skin : VCO ~ GENUS  'Woonie' Skin Applier (Gacha) @ Kustom9

Eyes : LOTUS. Flow Eyes @ Access

Ears : .random.Matter. - Haruhi Ears 

Hat : DAPPA - Edge Lord Beanies @ Harajuku

Mask : BOYS TO THE BONE ros mask 

Tattoo : DAPPA - Hentai Tattoo.@ Hentai Fair

Choker : .random.Matter. - Cermet Collar - Do Not Feed

Shirt : Pixel Geek - Vanilla Plastic Shirt 

Arm : [Cubic Cherry] {Talis} gloves

Pants : +MB+ Julliet Leggings 

Shoes : Shoes : [BREATHE]-Koki Heels 

Remember the light.

Pose : Imitation - Kitty 1 C

Things : *HEXtraordinary* Angelfish Aquarium (Gacha) @ The Gacha Garden

{anc} flower wind 

[ keke ] secrets garden flower

Hi! I'm a mermaid!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier @ Uber

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Pixie Ears 

Hair : Tableau Vivant \\ Editorial \ Bent over - Funky (Gacha)

Pasties : {LP} -  Mermaid  Top

Tattoo : MoonPhase MermaidHentai_JustScales_Blue_ 

Shorts : +MB+ MyMermaid Shorts 

Precious disguise.

Face made using the Lelutka Axis hud!

Once again today, I'm feeling a little weird, so take a look at the pretties on offer from Dappa, Lotus and Muggleborn!

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head & Eyeliner : GENUS Project (babyface)

Skin : . MILA . Neave Skin 

Eyes : LOTUS. Unhappy Eyes @ The Gacha Garden

Face Tattoo : DAPPA - Brute Marks. @ Unik Event (Opens Feb 7th)

Ears : :Lg: - :Mesh Ears: - 

Earrings : Peaches.- Lunar Hang Tag Earring 

Hair : tram H0414 hair

Horns : Lovely Disarray - Sketched Hellion Horns

Choker : +MB+ Teeny Choker 

Body Tattoo : DAPPA - Daddy's Scars

Figure it out.

Pose & Joint : PM . Ayana 5

This is a bit of a different look, even by my standards. I've always looked at the cute pastel goth girls within SL and adored the style, but I've never been fully able to grasp how to pull it off.

Today, I feel like I might have actually done it. 

Some of the people I know are completely amazing, and I feel like as I continue my journey of self-enlightenment (lol?), I'm encountering aspects of these people that may never have unfolded before.

The last couple of days my spoons have been plentiful. I have been throwing them around willy nilly (I LOVE THAT SAYING!) and have had actual in-depth conversations with people that I love, which totally fill my heart with all the happy feels and things.

Anwaaay. One of these people (and he's "awesome" so he'll know who he is), have set me a challenge. I'm pretty well known for having the mouth of a sailor. No, it's not salty or always doused in rum, but I do have a tendency to swear. I curse when I'm sad. I curse when I'm happy. I curse when I'm excited. There is no situation where my cursing is left by the wayside... I am uncouth. Knowing what I'm going through in great detail, Adam (DAMNIT! Now he's gonna think I care about him or something!) suggested I attempt to change my language in a effort to think more positively.

So that's what I'm gonna do. Even IF I fail miserably and end up effing and blinding, I think that the potential for change is HUGE! Not only will it improve my language, but losing the negative context of those curse words might help to bring on a more positive mindset.

Whether you agree with the nonsense I've just written or not, I want you to bear in mind that it's an experiment for personal betterment, and regardless of the results, that in itself is something I think I deserve to be proud of.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body : Slink Physique Hourglass Mesh Body  

Head : CATWA Magy

Skin : Insol: 'Just Alice' gacha // 2. Lost brows - ST Milk (B2) @ Epiphany

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes

Eye Appliers : Go&See * Equa* Catwa Eyes

Eyebrows : Found in the Catwa hud, tinted.

Eyeshadow : -SU!- Oksana Eyeshadow 

Moles & Freckles : Bossie.  freckles & beauty marks [catwa]

Lipstick : Bossie. plush matte lipsticks [catwa] 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Rox Ears 

Earrings : Kibitz - Hailey's pearl heart hoops @ Kustom9

Hair : Exile:: Alibi

Tattoo : DAPPA - Venus Tattoo @ Mermaid Cove

Jacket : +MB+ Unicorn Jacket - Item only available on MP >Here<

Rings : (Yummy)  Serena Rings 

Shorts : Ricielli - Lary Shorts @ Cosmopolitan

Boots : EQUAL - Zara Boots