Build it up, tear it down.

Uh. I forgot to note the pose again. Sorry. 

I was wondering today, at what point does a conversation go from being a conversation between two adults, to somehow delving into drama? 

Nothing has happened to me, so no need to be concerned or to start ruminating on who Pickle's gotten into a conflict with... calm yer loins dear Spoonies!

But literally 80% of the 'drama' I have had in Second Life has been me saying "Hey, I don't like that. It made me feel this way." and another party going "Well don't you get your drama panties in a twist drama llama, if you don't like this dramatic thing, it's all your dramatic fault."

Now this can be people I've known for years and years (but mostly not, because by that point we've gotten a rapport about accepting the other has feelings, apologizing for whatever we've said or at least discussing it so we understand where the other is coming from), or it is, more likely, someone I have known for days.

Is it really a case of "You're too sensitive, Pickle!" or is it more of a case of any time someones REAL feelings get bought into SL and it's not related to the happy endorphin filled feeling of love or lust, or want or need, it's suddenly backpedal backpedal pushaway?

I realize to some this might sound like I'm one of those people who get offended all the damn time, but I've reached a point in my life where I can accept that different people have thought processes that don't match mine. If you can provide a logical reason as to why you believe something that I find morally wrong, I'll probably come around to the fact that you have a point, but I'll still believe what I want to believe with a greater understanding of the other side. I have friends of all walks of life with very, very different beliefs, Muslims, Christians, Catholics, Trump supporters, Transgender, Gay, Straight, Male, Female, Black, White and Brown. I legitimately have no issues with -people- I have issues with their interpretations of dramatic. But ultimately, I'm responsible for my own feelings... and that too is something I need to remember.

If you're wrong, take accountability and just fess up. Hell, even if you're not wrong, if you've upset someone APOLOGIZE, meaningfully and allow the beautiful parts of that potential friendship to blossom, or walk away with a lighter heart and less of a headache.

xoxo

I thought I'd show you a back view of the pretty hair from Fabia available at the Gacha Garden.

The bow has it's very own hud and you can choose between some solid colours and a few beautiful patterns. Loving this hairstyle so hard!

The Candy Skin from Revoul is available in six tones. RE05, RE10, RE15, RE20, RE25 and RE30. I've chosen to wear RE10 in my main picture today!

It also has six candy coloured lipsticks and a shape, not blogged, so make sure you run over and go demo all the pretties! 

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Shape : Kaleidoscope : Revolution Shape.

Skin : Lefort by Revoul.Candy Catwa Applier @ Equal10

Head : CATWA Catya

Eyes : LOTUS. Humanity Eyes @ The Gacha Garden (Opens 1st May)

Ears : L'Etre - Pure mesh ears 

Hair : -FABIA-<Vita> @ The Gacha Garden (Opens 1st May)

Tattoo : DAPPA - Chris Tattoo.@ A+ Event

Top : +MB+ Ellie Top @ Level Event (opens 30th April)

Less important.

Pose : FOXCITY. Stairs (Sitting)-4m

Background & Props : FOXCITY. Photo Booth - A Fool's Paradise

{what next} Wall Hanging Plant #1

{what next} Oasis Bloom - Prickly Pear Cactus Planter

{what next} Oasis Bloom - Tall Cactus Planter   

dust bunny . quirky planters . llama

{what next} Oasis Bloom - Succulent Planter

dust bunny . quirky planters . cactus

dust bunny . quirky planters . snail 

dust bunny . quirky planters . hedgehog   

I had a conversation with someone recently that made me think again about who I want to be and where I want to go, and although I feel like without a doubt there have been some positive changes, I do feel like I need to address something that has niggled me for the longest time.

Life isn't fair.

I get that certain people are capable of "playing the game", and therefore they'll be the ones who seemingly succeed, which kinda makes their lives enviable to some... but I can't ever be that person again, if I ever was. The only way I have ever been able to achieve anything is to work my ass off, and as my friend mentioned to me in our conversation, I've worn many hats, especially within SL and whenever I felt like I was heading in a direction that didn't suit me, I think I may have intentionally shot myself in the butt to prevent it from happening. Still, in terms of blogging and photography, no matter how hard I try, how much I think I have improved, my not playing the game hurts me in terms of exposure.

Now, this may seem like I'm sitting here whining that I'm incredibly unpopular, but I'm not. I'm just using this platform as an example of what is changing for me, and how I'm viewing things... and in terms of blogging and many, many other things in my life that I'm not 'there' yet with, I fucking LOVE doing it. Because I love doing this, I will continue to do this. I will not circle jerk and I will stay the eff away from drama surrounding any activity I enjoy. I'm more than happy to work at my own pace now and although that jealousy monster might occasionally rear it's ugly head, it's power is fading daily, and I feel as though each "Congratulations" I pass on to someone else is more genuine than the last.

If others decide to play games, I'll no doubt see it, but it's not my life... it's theirs, and they have every right to live the way they see fit. 

If you love what I do, that's a bonus... but I want to hold my head high and walk with integrity.

So, yeah, life isn't fair, but it does give us a chance to show our worth and I'm finally figuring out what mine is. I'm priceless. And so are you.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : GENUS Project (Original)

Skin : . MILA . Neave Skin [Honey] GENUS 

Eyes : -SU!- Medora Eyes /Glitch Wasted (Gacha)

Eyeliner : Veechi - Basic Glossy Liner

Ears : L'Etre - Crystal mesh ears 

Hair :  -Fabia- Mesh Hair   < Andy> @ Rewind (opens 20th March)

Tattoo : DAPPA - Rachel Tattoo. @ Equal10

Shirt : #SHOOK - Thotiana Top @ Level Event

Shorts : BUENO-Spring Shorts @ Kustom9

Sneakers : Native - Another 1 Sneakers 

There's a feeling.

Pose : Amitie Couple You Are My Gift - Ball @ Uber

Background Things : Abiss Christmas Tree 2014 

Say hi to Durex! He does alright, does our lad! 

Today I wanted to make a valiant effort to show off some of the fantastic tattoo's Dappa is producing. I feel like I blink, and he's gotten a brand new product at another premium event, so trying to keep up with him is insane - but Pickle loves a challenge!

I'm showcasing two today, one on Pickle and one on Durex, and although Durex's may not be entirely christmas themed, I felt like the colours fit in perfectly for a scene.

I woke up today with intentions of getting stuff done.

What actually happened was incessant zoning out, ridiculous videos watched on youtube and a whole heap of Ark, Survival Evolved. Welp. There's always tomorrow!

xoxo

All of the things, Durex.

Body: [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin : Not Found - Robert Skin 

Head :  CATWA HEAD Skell

Hairbase : Stealthic - Male Hairbase

Hat : [Atomic] Happy Hats_Let's Be Festive! - Santa's Helper 2 @ Epiphany

Beard & Scar : IDTTY Faces - Sharp Beard [CUT]

Tattoo : DAPPA - Chak Tattoo. @ Level Event

Pants : Loris Loren - BATTISTA V3 FATPACK

All of the things, Pickle :

Body : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : GENUS Project (babyface)

Skin & Eyelashes : [okkbye] bunnie tone001 

Blush : TS Omega Cold Days Heart Blush Applier @ The Arcade

Hair : *barberyumyum*P01

Lingerie : #EMPIRE - Xmas - Bowed - Panties - red & #EMPIRE - Xmas - Bowed - Bra - red (Gacha) @ The Arcade

Tattoo : DAPPA - Noel Tattoo. @ Liaison Collaborative (New LM!)

Run wild.

Pose : Foxcity. Melancholy-1m (Fatpack Exclusive)

Location : -Lost Lagoon- 

I'M SO LAZY.

I have found a few brilliantly decorated sims lately, and the LMs are sitting in my inventory, and I've not updated the Locations page of this blog in forever!

Rest assured, when my butt is no longer lazy I will hop straight to it.

In the meantime, you're going to have to search through my blogs to find the current places I've investigated!

Check out this place tho, for reals. Lost Lagoon is gorgeous, and there's more animals around too. I almost fell in love with the Hippo's and watch out for the Vultures!

Happy Friday!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : Insol: Seo applier, tone 'Tanned' 

Head : CATWA Catya

Eyes : Hayaru - Jung mesh eyes

Eyeliner : -SU!- [HUD] Essential Eyeliners (Gacha)

Lipstick : -SU!- Lenore Lipstick 

Piercing : -SU!- Medusa Piercing

Hairbase : L'Etre - Chloe hairbase 

Hair : CAMO - Mousse Dreads 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Pixie Ears 

Earrings : {le fil casse} Verity Earrings @ Collabor88

Tattoo : DAPPA - Lotus Tattoo. @ The Level Event (Opens 30th Oct)

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Dian @ Uber

A piece of my heart.

Pose : *R.O* Artist Bento Pose

Background : BTTB London Backdrop 154 Brick Lane @ Backdrop City

I logged into facebook this morning and was promptly reminded that today my blog is officially three! I'm absolutely astounded I've managed to be as constant with my posts as I have been, and above all, I'm amazed at the personal journey I've been on and the growth that has occurred since the start.

When I began this blog, it was to appease a force in my life that was not only rather manipulative, but also never complimentary towards me after our first week of meeting. I tried over and over to 'start' but it wasn't until we'd parted ways that I realized I didn't have to satisfy anyone but myself.

Kaleidoscope has seen me through the loss of friendships and the birth of new ones, helped me feel more confident in myself both in SL and RL, and has allowed me a channel that has served as a sort of therapy for me. It has become a labour of love. A place for me to be unequivocally me.

At first, I was scared to write. I still wonder some days why anyone would want to read my drivel, but knowing that there are others who face similar issues to me has led me to believe in myself more, knowing I am not alone in the way my brain might work occasionally is a massive relief.

At the start, I never even thought about applying for blogger positions within SL. The idea that somebody might want little ol' me to promote their items when there are so many insanely talented photographers and bloggers about was akin to insanity... but let's face it, I'm slightly bonkers! After a few months I did begin to apply and while I have faced many, many rejections there have also been celebrations when brands I have always adored have taken me on. Some were temporary. Others were tiny stores at the start that have gone on to accomplish some wonderful things, and watching these brands and events grow as I have has been the most brilliant experience.

For anybody that is still trying to get their foot in the door in terms of blogging, the only advice I will give you is to do it for you. If you don't love it, you're not doing yourself or your future brand investors justice. I truly believe that every picture I take comes from my heart, and I will continue attempting to weave stories and improve my photography until... well, just until.

Happy Birthday, Kaleidoscope.

Thank you, yeah - you, for reading and peeking my pictures.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : Insol: Seo applier, tone 'Tanned' 

Head : CATWA Catya

Eyes : Hayaru - Jung mesh eyes

Ears : L'Etre - Basic mesh ears 

Bandaid & Bloody Nose : Mug - Violet Bandaid

Hair & Hat : Beusy: "Delete" Hairstyle [Game Over Gacha] RARE

Choker : #SHOOK - Identity Choker {CRYBABY] @ The Level Event

Tattoo : DAPPA - Ryu Tattoo. @ Man Cave Event

Jacket : COMPLEX / C-WAY @ N21

Pants : .miss chelsea. Zara Leggings @ N21

Sneakers : [VALE KOER] "SAMPLE" TRAINERS 

Growing darker.

Pose : <K&S> Cause I'm drowning for ya 4 (Gacha) (edited slightly with Animare)

Background : WR - Repulsion redux

I'm not entirely sure if Durex is dragging Pickle away to save her, or if he's got his own murderous plans... either way, avoiding those creepy looking hands will be beneficial!

Ok, so I want you to hold on to your pants, because this might take a while to get through!

Go&See has released this absolutely stunning "Aria" Skin, available at Blush. It comes in 9 tones (you can find the tones >HERE< and include the exclusive shades Witchy, Moonly and Light), and as shown above, white brows, white brows & freckles, dark brows & freckles, and dark brows. There's also a no eyebrow version I couldn't squeeze in, so you can add your favourite brows!

I'm wearing my personal favourite shade "Pale", but I guarantee each tone is just as beautiful as the next!

All of the things, Pickle : 

Body : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : Go&See * Aria * @ Blush

Head : CATWA Catya

Choker :  #SHOOK - Identity Choker [DOLL] @ The Level Event

Hair : Eliavah ~ Tsukuyomi Hair @ The Hair Fair 2018

Skirt : -Narcisse- Trill Pleated Mini @ Kinky Event

Tattoo : DAPPA - Swarm Tattoo. @ Vanity

Claws : [CX] Canidae Claws

All of the things, Durex : 

Body, Hands & Feet : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin : Go&See * Pale * Theo 

Head :  CATWA HEAD Skrell

Eyes : Go&See * Magic * Eyes @ Anybody

Face Tattoo : DAPPA - Anti-Christ.@ The Dark Style Fair

Ears : [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Nails in ear : [CX] Heavily Nailed (Group Gift)

Hairbase : Stealthic - Male Hairbase

Hair : Vango. Henry

Body Tattoo : DAPPA - Fvneral Tattoo. @ The Black Fair

Jeans : [ VERSOV ] STEFOV_JEANS

Breaking.

Pose : FOXCITY Sass-6m (edited slightly with Animare)

Location : Dox - Tokyo Street 

I know, I know, I've already posted today! I just couldn't resist showing off these amazing finds for 50L friday from Miss Chelsea and Veechi, plus the super cute thigh high sneakers from Empire at this round of Uber.

The Dox sim has recently re-opened it's doors and it's an absolutely adorable Tokyo styled set up, with many nooks and crannies to explore, plus plenty of photo opportunities for the creatively inspired. Being that I'm just a semi-creative Pickle, I opted for the zebra crossing (not sure what they're called anywhere other than the UK) and the backdrop of the street almost as soon as you enter the sim!

Hope your friday is full of fun!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : Insol: Seo applier, tone 'Tanned' 

Head : CATWA Catya

Eyes : Hayaru - Jung mesh eyes

Eyeshadow : Veechi - Vivid Distress Shadow (FLF)

Hair : #Besom~Lady Like 

Choker : #SHOOK - Identity Choker [DOLL] @ The Level Event

Necklace : Nova -- Kace Necklace 

Jacket & Dress : .miss chelsea. Edie Jacket & Dress (FLF)

Gloves : **RE** Motor Gloves 1.1

Nails : (NO) French Tip Mesh Nails

Boots : #EMPIRE  - Coronaria @ Uber

Chew you up.

Pose : FOXCITY. Spotlight-6 (alternate)

Background : WR - sort of sci-fi (Animated with animare)

I almost forgot to write here today!
I've been watching the Shane Dawson youtube series on Jake Paul, and part of me wants to associate everything he's saying to 90% of SL (Sometimes, myself included!)
It's proving to be something I'm on the edge of my seat for, and I never really paid attention to the Paul Family or even "influencers" on youtube before quite recently.
Anywho. I have a long day ahead of me (I think) and I didn't sleep well last night - so check out the pretties I've found for this look below, and have an awesome day!
xoxo

All of the things : 

Body : Slink Physique Hourglass Mesh Body  

Skin : Insol: Seo applier, tone 'Tanned' 

Head : CATWA Catya

Eyes : Hayaru - Jung mesh eyes

CURELESS [+] Yuurei Eyes / HELL (unable to retrieve LM, region down)

Lipstick : in Catwa hud

Face Tattoo : DAPPA - Satan Spawn. @ The Dark Style Fair

Hair : DOUX - Bambi hairstyle 

Hair & Horns add on : DOUX - Demon hairstyle

Choker : #SHOOK - Identity Choker {SAVAGE] @ The Level Event

Scarification : + Demon Spit // Knife Play / Devil Child / Fresh @ Salem

Pauldron : ieQED scale.pauldron.titanium (No longer available)

Nipples : !~SV~! Nipples 

Nipple Piercings : [CX] Kinky Cobra 

Corset :  [CX] Taut Amour Corset (Gacha)

Arm : [omnis] BlackWidow

Claws & Tattoo (human hand) : [ Conviction ] The Claws - Possesion @ Salem

Shorts :  [CX]  26 Luceat Arachne Shorts and Socks (Gacha)

Heartbeat dancing.

Pose : <K&S> Paper love RARE (gacha)

It's been a while since Durex has featured here, so I decided to dig him out of his semi-retirement phase and throw him into the darkness to choke the fudge outta Pickle. 

Let's face it, I'm sure there would have been plenty of volunteers.. *coughs* but Durex will always be my go-to in terms of male-models, he's just so pliable!

I don't have any fancy words of wisdom today, so for all the information, keep scrolling down!

xoxo

All of the things, Durex : 

Body, Hands & Feet : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin (Head): Not Found - Robert Skin 

Skin (Body) : Clef de Peau.Body Tight 

Head :  CATWA HEAD Skrell

Eyes : Go&See * Ares * Eyes (Catwa, Genus & Mesh versions)

Ears : [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Hairbase : Stealthic - Male Hairbase

Hair : Stealthic - Rebellion

Face Tattoo : DAPPA - Broken Face Tattoo. @ Level Event

Body Tattoo : DAPPA - Setsuko Tattoo. @ Signature Event

Undies : RIOT / Richard Boxer Briefs 

All of the things, Pickle 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin :  Go&See * Birdy * Pale @ Blush

Head :  CATWA HEAD Catya

Makeup : DeeTaleZ MakeUp CATWA & STANDART "SAD"

Ears : L'Etre - Crystal mesh ears 

Hair : *barberyumyum*82

Outfit : #EMPIRE - Buckle Harness (v1) @ The Arcade

Gentle touch.

Pose : FOXCITY Milk Bath-1 (Fatpack exclusive) - Edited with Animare

Props : ~*GOD*~ Water Lilly 

[DDD] Twinkle Patches 

nani - dreamy pond - lotus set (Gacha)

[DDD]  Magical Bubble 

{anc} fish shop daughters / lotus:white (Gacha)

[The Emporium] Floating Candle (Store inactive)

Absolutely LOVE how this photo came out, and just as well, too, because it took me bloody ages to capture! 

I also tried some new things with the ripple detailing. Every time I do a picture involving water, I like to add a little something new, and I'm thrilled with this one! Now I just need to work out how to get droplets on my skin... *flails wildly*

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : DeeTaleZ *Appliers* LeLutka Heads "Face Dominique" 

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-MAY 

Eyeshadow : Veechi - Vivacious Shadow @ Uber

Ears : L'Etre - Crystal mesh ears 

Hair : *ARGRACE* Akane

Tattoo : DAPPA - Keegan Tattoo. @ Level Event

Rings & Bracelets : Amala - The Jacqueline Hand Bracelets & Stacking rings