This is special.

Pose : Potato Poses Gamer Couple

Props :{moss&mink} Geo Wall Monitor (Black) @ A+ Event

{moss&mink} Geo Computer (Pink) @ A+ Event

{moss&mink} Geo Computer (Black) @ A+ Event

 *ionic* Kool Thing (Desk&Chair)

Mesh Iron Board from the Marketplace

LAGOM - GAME OVER [Lightstring D] #13(gacha)

LAGOM - GAME OVER [Floor Mess] #16

Toronto-Bedroom motivation poster by Bazar

Kalopsia - Poster -Got This

Taken in the Trompe Loeil - Margaux Photo Backdrop + Surround

AHHHHHH

I might be a little excited about these Moss&Mink Computers!! HOLD ME DOWN WHILE I SQUEAL.

ok i'm done.

So i'm sure you've probably seen the inspiration behind this pic before, and if you haven't there's a little gyazo of it right >Here<

I searched for a couple of hours for a pose of it on marketplace last night, and then potatoman decided he'd do it.. and when I woke up this morning the sneaky little bugger was online and had completed half of it! How awesome is this!!?

Seriously, I am SO grateful for the beautiful people I am surrounded with at the moment, and often get a little teary eyed just thinking about how wonderful they are!

ANYWAY.

Have some credits, yeah?

xoxo

All of the things, Durex :

Body: -Belleza- Mesh Body Jake

Skin : Clef de Peau.Elias @ TMD

Head :  CATWA HEAD Skell

Hairbase : Stealthic Male Hairbase

Ears : [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Tattoo : DAPPA - Keijo V1 Tattoo. @ Limit8

Sweatpants : RIOT / Gareth Joggers @ TMD

All of the things, Pickle : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : CATWA Magy

Skin : Go&See * Laura * @ Gloss

Eyes : LOTUS. Beauty Eyes @ Equal 10

Ears : L'Etre - Crystal mesh ears

Hair : Moon. Hair. // Phase @ Kustom9

Tattoo : DAPPA - Keijo V2 Tattoo. @ Limit8

Panties : Blueberry - Tinker Set - Panties - Freya

Enough.

Pose : Ana Poses - Chemnitz 2

Sword : -Elemental- 'Noble Sword' 

I don't do much RL online shopping, but I decided to peruse Amazon after getting a voucher for Christmas. I'd always been interested in those funky charcoal masks, so I picked one of those up first, and then still had enough left over for something else.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this book before, but it's called "Yes Man" and it's by a guy called Danny Wallace. He's an English dude, and the way the book is written is right up my alley. Complete sarcasm, infused with utter nonsense, with a little bit of a moral, too. Because I liked that book so much, I picked up a copy of another of his books, called "Random Acts of Kindness".

I expected this to be very similar to his previous book, but it is in fact, entirely different.

It's literally just a list of suggestions of how to make someone's day a bit better and I can't describe how much I freaking love it. There's ideas anywhere from planting a tree, to buying a tub of coleslaw for a Portuguese man called Rui, and applauding someone for making an effort.

On that note, I want to invite you to do something nice for someone today.

Doesn't have to be much, doesn't have to cost you a thing... but just do something that will make them smile, and sit back and see how it affects you, too.

xoxo

All of the things :

Body: [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin : Clef de Peau.Elias @ TMD

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley

Eyes : HERMONY / EYES OF THE BEHOLDER 

Ears : L'Etre - Basic mesh ears 

UNISEX [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Hairbase : Stealthic Male Hairbase

Hair : Modulus - Miles Hair @ TMD

Tattoo : DAPPA - Dante Tattoo.@ Equal10

Shoulder : amias - DEVON @ TMD
Bracelet : :::NOIR::: Lance Bracelet @ TMD

Nails & Rings : [CX] Essential Dirty Claws (GIFT)

Pants : [Gild] Tabi-hakamaEno

Emptying my lungs.

Pose & Bench : Ana Poses - Isfahan @ TMD

Location : My homestead (kinda public, kinda not.. be nice!)

So yesterdays adventure into the real world was absolutely freakin' exhausting.

I've started getting really, really anxious before something happens that means I have to leave the house, and although I DID manage to go to my parents special Anniversary dinner, it was nothing short of a miracle, 

At around 5am Sunday morning, having not yet slept and knowing I'd be leaving the house at around 10am, I found myself in my kitchen having a bit of a melt-down. I wish I could explain all the thoughts in my head, but anyone who has a tendency to overthink and/or suffers with anxiety will be able to tell you it'll start with something very simple, and end up with your chest heaving while you're clinging on to the kitchen cabinets for dear life while the kettle boils somewhere in the far off distance.

I did consider saying I couldn't make it. Just for a minute, of course... but I knew if I said no this time, it might be a really long time before I said yes again, and I can't have that. I have to do these ridiculously basic things with the people I love, not just for them, but for me.

The advantage of my managing to drag my half-undead body from my flat to the restaurant was that I ate a bloody amazing meal, and my dad got inebriated while my brother, who was driving, sulked playfully at being sober over his rather yummy looking steak.

All in all, it was totally worth the anxiety and I'm glad I didn't miss another family milestone.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body: [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin : [theSkinnery] Luca (Catwa Applier) 

Body Skin : Clef de Peau.

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley

Eyes : HERMONY / EYES OF THE BEHOLDER 

Glasses :  MIRROR - Lamour Glasses @ TMD

Ears : L'Etre - Basic mesh ears 

UNISEX [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Hairbase : Stealthic Male Hairbase

Hair : Modulus - Miles Hair @ TMD

Tattoo : *Bolson / Tattoo Cronopios Collection - Knoxx 

Jacket & Shirt : BlankLine Jacket @ TMD

Jeans : GUTCHI - Bandana Denim Premium @ TMD

Sneakers : [ VERSOV ] SHARKOV_SNEAKERS @ TMD

Caught off guard.

Pose : Ana Poses - We See

Decor :  [USB] - Industrial Table (Adult) @ TMD

 Apple Fall Handbag & Scarf

Taken in the Apple Fall Country Hall @ my homestead.

Ok so my brain has well and truly been up my backside today, and I've neglected to think of a subject to write about, also, tomorrow I will be going out with family for my first 'public' meal since I've been feeling better... so that's possibly weighing on my mind a little. I mean, who wants to sit a freakin' restaurant with a bunch of people they don't know, feeling super self conscious while celebrating a 40th Wedding Anniversary?

I actually asked my Dad how he felt about being married to my mum for that long, and I was hoping/expecting for some beautiful sentiment or maybe at a push, something flattering about his children (eg, me.) but no. The response I got was "To be honest, I'm kinda numb to it now."

Now I'm remembering and giggling to myself like a plonker!

In other news, TMD is open, Lads! Go grab your new things!

xoxo

All of the things, Durex :

Body: [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin : Not Found - Robert Skin 

Head :  CATWA HEAD Skell

Hair & Hat : Vango. Joe

Ears : [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Nails in ear : [CX] Heavily Nailed (Group Gift)

Beard & Scar : IDTTY Faces - Sharp Beard [CUT]

Tattoo : DAPPA -  Shiryo V2 Tattoo. @ Limit8

Sweater : TORI TORRICELLI //  Dakota Turtle Neck Sweater @ TMD

Pants : TORI TORRICELLI //  Dakota Chino @ TMD

Sneakers : .TORI TORRICELLI Downtown Sneakers @ TMD

All of the things, Pickle : 

Body : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : GENUS Project (babyface)

Skin : DeeTaleZ *Appliers* GENUS Head "Roxana"

Ears : L'Etre - Pure mesh ears  

Hair : *barberyumyum*S03

Glasses : #SHOOK - Lunari Sunglasses

Necklace : (Yummy) Supernova Necklace 

Shirt : BUENO-Rucy Top For The Saturday Sale

Pants : .:villena:. Destroyed Mom Jeans
Shoes : [Juju] Lorelei Cream

Just a hit.

Pose : Ana Poses  - Valencian 3@ TMD

Photo taken at my (potentially forever) unfinished home.

I've been reflecting a lot today, and I just wanna put it out there that I can be an asshole.

By asshole, I mean sometimes I just cannot keep my mouth shut.

For me to make sense of things, I need to vent.. and sometimes my choice of who I vent to can be somewhat uh.. fucked up. 

See, I kind of have this habit of blurting, whether I've just met someone or I've known them for a while, I often scoop myself all the way up onto my high horse and preach to the hilltops about my personal opinions. While I'm much more confident in my opinions lately, that doesn't mean that everyone needs to know them, nor does it mean they care. I need to remember this.

I do have a habit of talking shit, too. Nothing that I can relate to 'gossip' as such, it's more like I'm really trying to work out WHY something happened, why I feel the way I do about a situation, what -I- could have done differently and why someone else reacted the way they did.

If I "talk shit" there's a 90% chance that I have already told the person I'm talking shit about how I feel, but again - that's not really anyone else's business. and it's certainly not my job to point out the flaws of others when I am so un-perfect myself.

I was considering the idea of new years resolutions today, and I think I've decided what mine is. I don't often make resolutions, because I feel like for the most part they are unrealistic, but for 2019, I want to do better at dealing with a situation and moving on. For my own sanity, I need to let things go, confide more in people that genuinely care and aren't just floaters in my life, and I definitely need to mind my own fucking business.

I really want to project positivity, and if I'm concentrated so firmly on other people and how negative they are (to ME), I will never achieve the serenity inside myself that I'm aiming for.

Happy Monday!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body: [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin : [theSkinnery] Luca (Catwa Applier) @ TMD

Body Skin : Clef de Peau.@ TMD

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley

Eyes : HERMONY / EYES OF THE BEHOLDER 

Glasses : MIRROR - Miguel Glasses @ TMD

Ears : L'Etre - Basic mesh ears 

UNISEX [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Hairbase : Stealthic Male Hairbase

Hair : Dura-U89  @ TMD 

Tattoo : *Bolson / Tattoo Cronopios Collection - Knoxx @ TMD

Necklaces : [MANDALA]YOLO-Jewelry-set

Coat : Hotdog - Morbid manteaux . @ TMD

Pants : {COLD-ASH} Mens GRAYSON Roll Up Trousers @ TMD

Shoes : [ VERSOV ] MOUNTOV_BOOTS_ @ TMD

Growing darker.

Pose : <K&S> Cause I'm drowning for ya 4 (Gacha) (edited slightly with Animare)

Background : WR - Repulsion redux

I'm not entirely sure if Durex is dragging Pickle away to save her, or if he's got his own murderous plans... either way, avoiding those creepy looking hands will be beneficial!

Ok, so I want you to hold on to your pants, because this might take a while to get through!

Go&See has released this absolutely stunning "Aria" Skin, available at Blush. It comes in 9 tones (you can find the tones >HERE< and include the exclusive shades Witchy, Moonly and Light), and as shown above, white brows, white brows & freckles, dark brows & freckles, and dark brows. There's also a no eyebrow version I couldn't squeeze in, so you can add your favourite brows!

I'm wearing my personal favourite shade "Pale", but I guarantee each tone is just as beautiful as the next!

All of the things, Pickle : 

Body : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : Go&See * Aria * @ Blush

Head : CATWA Catya

Choker :  #SHOOK - Identity Choker [DOLL] @ The Level Event

Hair : Eliavah ~ Tsukuyomi Hair @ The Hair Fair 2018

Skirt : -Narcisse- Trill Pleated Mini @ Kinky Event

Tattoo : DAPPA - Swarm Tattoo. @ Vanity

Claws : [CX] Canidae Claws

All of the things, Durex : 

Body, Hands & Feet : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin : Go&See * Pale * Theo 

Head :  CATWA HEAD Skrell

Eyes : Go&See * Magic * Eyes @ Anybody

Face Tattoo : DAPPA - Anti-Christ.@ The Dark Style Fair

Ears : [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Nails in ear : [CX] Heavily Nailed (Group Gift)

Hairbase : Stealthic - Male Hairbase

Hair : Vango. Henry

Body Tattoo : DAPPA - Fvneral Tattoo. @ The Black Fair

Jeans : [ VERSOV ] STEFOV_JEANS

Let's get lost.

Pose : <K&S> Love Scars. couple 2 (Gacha)

Props : Culprit Sonata Macabre @ Salem (Opens Sept 29th)

*Funky*Junk* Halloween Decor Set 2 

Apple Fall Pug Ceramic Decor

I like to imagine that Pickle and Durex have crept into an old, abandoned house in this photograph.

I'm not entirely sure where they've strewn their clothing, or what possessed them to run around such a creepy place with their pants down, but we all do crazy things sometimes, and maybe this is one of those times!

Culprit has once again stunned me with their magical bento Piano.

Don't get me wrong, it's not going to perform card tricks, or pull a rabbit from a top hat, but that doesn't make it any less spectacular! I'm adding another little gif whatsit below so that you can get a glimpse of the wonderful animations included - but please do demo the item for yourself so that you get the full effect!

I'm struggling to keep up with the awesome that Dappa is producing lately! It continues to warm my heart that brands I love who are still supporting me after a long time, manage to push their way into mainstream events one by one. There's no doubt in my mind that Dappa is entirely deserving of his current status, and he is always among the first tattoo brand that I will recommend to anyone looking for new art, not just because he's kind enough to allow me to review his items, but because the quality is always absolutely spot on.
xoxo

All of the things, Durex : 

Skin : Not Found - Robert Skin 

Head :  CATWA HEAD Skell

Beard & Scar : IDTTY Faces - Sharp Beard [CUT]

Ears : [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Hair : Vango. Alex

Tattoo : DAPPA - Tengu Tattoo. @ Neo Japan

Undies : STRAY DOG - signature - boxer (free with body skin purchase)

All of the things, Pickle : 

Body : Slink Physique Hourglass Mesh Body  

Skin : TRES BEAU MAKEUP CATWA ASHLEY

Head : CATWA Lona

Eyes : AMITOMO Eye Collection

Eyeliner : YKON - The 4 Girlies Types - Catwa/OMEGA

Ears : L'Etre - Basic mesh ears 

Hair : little bones. Theory @ Uber

Tattoo : DAPPA - Vesper Tattoo. @ Man Cave

Shirt : :::insanya::: RaverTop - Lust

Fishnets/panties : [Cynful] Cliqueish Fishnet Set 

Shoes : [MODA] PAMELA PLATFORM

For a while.

Pose : .HG. Comforts

Essences has come out with a beautiful new skin at Kustom 9, called Vanya. 

You can see the Pale 01 tone up there ^^ with Durex, and below is a completely unedited version of all of the gorgeous tones available. 

All of the things, Durex : 

Skin : Not Found - Robert Skin 

Head :  CATWA HEAD Skrell

Eyelids : L'Etre - Natural mesh eyelids

Ears : [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Hair : Vango. Erick

All of the things, Pickle : 

Skin : Essences - Vanya @ Kustom9

Head :  CATWA HEAD Catya

Eyelids : L'Etre - Natural mesh eyelids

Hair : [e] Thea

Heartbeat dancing.

Pose : <K&S> Paper love RARE (gacha)

It's been a while since Durex has featured here, so I decided to dig him out of his semi-retirement phase and throw him into the darkness to choke the fudge outta Pickle. 

Let's face it, I'm sure there would have been plenty of volunteers.. *coughs* but Durex will always be my go-to in terms of male-models, he's just so pliable!

I don't have any fancy words of wisdom today, so for all the information, keep scrolling down!

xoxo

All of the things, Durex : 

Body, Hands & Feet : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin (Head): Not Found - Robert Skin 

Skin (Body) : Clef de Peau.Body Tight 

Head :  CATWA HEAD Skrell

Eyes : Go&See * Ares * Eyes (Catwa, Genus & Mesh versions)

Ears : [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Hairbase : Stealthic - Male Hairbase

Hair : Stealthic - Rebellion

Face Tattoo : DAPPA - Broken Face Tattoo. @ Level Event

Body Tattoo : DAPPA - Setsuko Tattoo. @ Signature Event

Undies : RIOT / Richard Boxer Briefs 

All of the things, Pickle 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin :  Go&See * Birdy * Pale @ Blush

Head :  CATWA HEAD Catya

Makeup : DeeTaleZ MakeUp CATWA & STANDART "SAD"

Ears : L'Etre - Crystal mesh ears 

Hair : *barberyumyum*82

Outfit : #EMPIRE - Buckle Harness (v1) @ The Arcade

Can't be contained.

Pose (Edited slightly) : #5 <K&S> Him & I. pose 3 (Gacha)

I'm really not in a very good place today. I'm okay. I'm just sad.
I've always had trouble making and maintaining friendships. A lot of that is due to my being a hard-headed, stubborn and opinionated Pickle, and I know I'm not for everyone... but it makes me crazy when I step back and actually figure out that a lot of the problem is that I'm just incapable of accepting people as-is, rather than looking at them in terms of potential.
Yesterday, I spoke to a woman who reminded me of a very toxic person who was in my life for 2-3 years on and off. She kind of reamed him a new asshole, but the only thing I could think of was how sad I was that I couldn't make him a better man. Trust me - he was horrible. He manipulated me on more than one occasion by pretending to be someone else, cheated on me and told me on Christmas, made me wait for him for 6 hrs on my birthday and was generally just a butthead... but there was a part of me that wanted so desperately to make him good, to have him understand that people need kindness, and I thought that by accepting him, flaws and all, I would be able to do that. I was wrong.
I know this makes me sound like a martyr, but there's been many times where I have pushed the 'right' people away because of a bad situation I was in.. I'm not perfect in the slightest.
I just feel like right now, I've gotten to the point where my little bubble is shrinking rapidly. and as much as I would love to allow every single human into it, I'm incapable. I've become more difficult to please, and while this might seem like a good thing, that i'm picking people who fit me and MY needs right now to stay, it also makes me feel incredibly sad because it's like a part of me wants to give the whole world the benefit of the doubt, and because I'm me, I can't.
Again, not sure where this is going. I suppose I'm just venting, rather than hoping any of this makes sense.
xoxo

All of the things, Durex :

Skin : Go&See * Summer * Theo 

Head :  CATWA HEAD Skrell

Eyes : Go&See * Ares * Eyes (Catwa, Genus & Mesh versions) @ Men Only Monthly

Ears : [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Beard & Scar : IDTTY Faces - Sharp Beard [CUT]
Hair : taketomi - Kris 

All of the things :

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Skin : Go&See * Nadia * Tan @ Shiny Shabby (Available for catwa, genus & omega!)

Head :  CATWA HEAD Magy

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eye Appliers : LOTUS. Intense Eyes @ Access Event

Ears : L'Etre - Basic mesh ears 2018

Earrings : :: SAGA :: BOHO Leaf Earrings @ Kustom9

Hair : #Foxy - Romee Hair @ Collabor88

Tattoo : DAPPA - Matilda Tattoo. @ Equal10

Rings : (Yummy) Free Spirit Rings 

Panties : Blueberry - Tinker Set - Panties