Just a hit.

Pose : Ana Poses  - Valencian 3@ TMD

Photo taken at my (potentially forever) unfinished home.

I've been reflecting a lot today, and I just wanna put it out there that I can be an asshole.

By asshole, I mean sometimes I just cannot keep my mouth shut.

For me to make sense of things, I need to vent.. and sometimes my choice of who I vent to can be somewhat uh.. fucked up. 

See, I kind of have this habit of blurting, whether I've just met someone or I've known them for a while, I often scoop myself all the way up onto my high horse and preach to the hilltops about my personal opinions. While I'm much more confident in my opinions lately, that doesn't mean that everyone needs to know them, nor does it mean they care. I need to remember this.

I do have a habit of talking shit, too. Nothing that I can relate to 'gossip' as such, it's more like I'm really trying to work out WHY something happened, why I feel the way I do about a situation, what -I- could have done differently and why someone else reacted the way they did.

If I "talk shit" there's a 90% chance that I have already told the person I'm talking shit about how I feel, but again - that's not really anyone else's business. and it's certainly not my job to point out the flaws of others when I am so un-perfect myself.

I was considering the idea of new years resolutions today, and I think I've decided what mine is. I don't often make resolutions, because I feel like for the most part they are unrealistic, but for 2019, I want to do better at dealing with a situation and moving on. For my own sanity, I need to let things go, confide more in people that genuinely care and aren't just floaters in my life, and I definitely need to mind my own fucking business.

I really want to project positivity, and if I'm concentrated so firmly on other people and how negative they are (to ME), I will never achieve the serenity inside myself that I'm aiming for.

Happy Monday!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body: [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin : [theSkinnery] Luca (Catwa Applier) @ TMD

Body Skin : Clef de Peau.@ TMD

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley

Eyes : HERMONY / EYES OF THE BEHOLDER 

Glasses : MIRROR - Miguel Glasses @ TMD

Ears : L'Etre - Basic mesh ears 

UNISEX [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Hairbase : Stealthic Male Hairbase

Hair : Dura-U89  @ TMD 

Tattoo : *Bolson / Tattoo Cronopios Collection - Knoxx @ TMD

Necklaces : [MANDALA]YOLO-Jewelry-set

Coat : Hotdog - Morbid manteaux . @ TMD

Pants : {COLD-ASH} Mens GRAYSON Roll Up Trousers @ TMD

Shoes : [ VERSOV ] MOUNTOV_BOOTS_ @ TMD

Lying to myself.

Background : WR - Over Anxiety 

Pretty sure I've lost my marbles a bit today.

For whatever reason, I have huge, huge issues multitasking. I used to be pretty good.. I could do homework, listen to music, and sometimes I'd even have the telly on too, be texting a bunch of different people and still hold a conversation. Now if I want to watch and notice things on TV I have to clear a space for me to do that. If I want to listen to music I need to hear the lyrics. If I want to have a conversation I need to only have that conversation, and not have any possible distractions... which obviously causes a certain amount of issues.

I often feel incredibly guilty for being all like "Hey, I'm doing something, let me get back to you." especially when that something is as simple as listening to music to pop in this here bloggity blog.

I think I frustrate myself more than anyone else. I get angry for not being able to do things with the ease others seem to, and as I've said before, being a bit of a people pleaser, it's really difficult for me to use the term no because I just feel like I'm failing.

The rational part of me knows this isn't true, it just means that my spoon usage is different!

Anywho. Today is Monday, and that means Man-Pickle is making his appearance. I had this look idea as soon as I grabbed some items from TMD (Opening today!), and I'm super glad the photo came out as it did. I've featured the Stray Dog skin & Hermony eyes, and of course, the hair covers the eyes and the shirt covers the skin, so i've added a little extra picture below for more detail. It's unedited in caIWL, on ultra.

Hopefully that'll give you a better of idea of the quality of the items - plus these eyes are EVERYTHING and I'll probably whack them on again in the other colours available.

xoxo

I kinda think Man-Pickle looks a bit like Johnathon Rhys-Myers...

No? Just me then.

All of the things : 

Body: [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin : STRAY DOG - UREI @ TMD

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley

Eyes : HERMONY / EYES OF THE BEHOLDER @ TMD

Ears : L'Etre - Basic mesh ears 

Hairbase (lower photo) : Stealthic Male Hairbase

Hair : Dura-U88 @ TMD

Shirt : [Cubic Cherry]  Kai tanktops @ TMD

I could have done better.

Pose : FOXCITY. Mens - Night Owl-6m (Fatpack Exclusive)

Location : Backdrop Cove Tropical Beach 

Today I've been thinking about the quote "We accept the love we think we deserve" and what that means to me.

For a long time, I don't think I equated "me" with "worthy of love", so every time I found something that seemed to present itself as affection, I gripped it with both hands and attempted to cling on, even when it wasn't right. That, or when it was "too good to be true" I felt like I was undeserving, and found excuses to run away from it, or put obstacles in the way - because why would anything be 'right'?

Another saying that goes along side this was phrased best (in my opinion) by RuPaul. "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" and this has been a bone of contention for me. I'm not saying I'm in love with me, I'm not. I have a long way to go before I think that can happen... but I definitely like myself a lot more than I have for a long while. Before, I thought that this saying was bullshit. I thought that despite me not loving me, or giving myself the attention I need, I was beyond capable of showing love. I wasn't, and I wonder if even now, I'm capable.

I do see a difference, already. In being kinder to myself, it's becoming easier to calm me when I get upset. I'm learning to listen to my gut far more than I have in the past, and if something feels bad I am able to quit out - often before I've worked out why it's bad. It's also easier for me to forgive and understand others. None of us are born perfect, and sometimes we make mistakes. 

I never seem to be able to write exactly what I want to say, or how I want to say it, but my message here remains the same as it always is, be kind to each other - but even more importantly, be kind to yourself.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body: [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin :  Clef de Peau.Oscar @ TMD

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley 

Eyes : -SU!- Ophelia Eyes Fatpack /ULTRARARE/ (Gacha)

Glasses : MIRROR - Carbon Glasses @ TMD

Ears : AITUI - Snake Charmer Ears @ TMD

Hair : Dura-B86 @ TMD

Tattoo : DAPPA - Benson Tattoo @ Output Event

Pants : Lenox - Journey Sweats @ TMD

Sneakers : [ VERSOV ] BALLOV_SNEAKERS @ TMD

Good for nothin'.

It's Man-Pickle Monday!

I'm doing this super quickly! As usual, TMD has offered up some amazeballs goodies that you can grab for your Man-Thing. I'll stress again, don't be worried about shaking things up, lads! SL is for experimenting!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body: [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin : STRAY DOG - JONATAS  CATWA @ TMD

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley 

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eye Appliers : {S0NG} :: Ange Eyes @ TMD

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Rox Ears

Hair : Dura-U85 @ TMD

Shirt : COMPLEX / ARMANDO DENIM VEST @ TMD

No mistaking.

Left pose (Mum&Baby) : .GlamRus Kidz. Unbreakable

Right pose (BBQ) : 4Real Poses - BBQ GRILL Pose

Props : {moss&mink} Summer BBQ & Meals @ Uber

.peaches. Summer Memories @ Uber

dust bunny . giant palm plant

+Half-Deer+ Corgi Puppy - Zoomies (Gacha)

This is going to be a pretty large post! I'm not sure why I do this to myself but it always seems to be when I'm a sleepy Pickle, and not when I'm 100% with it haha. Still, here we go. Hold on to your hats!

xoxo

All the things Lil Pickle : 

*Note : this is an alternate avatar, some appliers, including skin, are lost forever in her inventory because it is not at all organized!

Body : Bad Seed Bebe Body 

Head : *TD* Bento Mesh Head #Alice

Eyes : Muriel. Expressive Eyes

Ears : random.Matter. - Haruhi Ears

Birthmark : [okkbye] bold birthmarks 

Hair : tram G0508 hair

Headpiece : ~Dream. Baby's Breath Head Wreath

Necklace : . Sweet Thing. Sweetheart Pendant Necklace 

Outfit & Shoes : Rou Mau "Nyoko" Red

All of the things, Durex : 

Body, Hands & Feet : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin (Head): Not Found - Robert Skin 

Skin (Body) : Clef de Peau.Body Tight 

Head :  CATWA HEAD Skrell

Beard & Scar : IDTTY Faces - Sharp Beard [CUT]

Hair : Dura-B&G84- @ TMD

Tattoo : DAPPA - Crown Tattoo. @ Mens Only Month

Undies : Mossu - Frank.Underwear @ TMD

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : CATWA Magy

Skin : Essences - Aura (Catwa & Omega) @ Kustom9

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eye Liner : . MILA . Princess of Darkness Makeup

Eye Appliers : Go&See * Space * Catwa Eyes @ SaNaRae

Ears : [MANDALA]SIMPLE_EARS_HUTUU

Earrings & Septum : :: SAGA :: Venus Jewel Set

Hairbase & Hair : Studio Exposure CATWA REFLESH  @ Summerfest

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Sara Set  @ Uber

Shoes : #EMPIRE - Baneberry @ Summerfest

I do what I like.

Pose : WRONG ST4 (Edited hands/Arms with Animare)

Ball Prop : OLQINU : rich play <ball [black]> @ Sanarae

Background & Location : [Since1975] Fit Box-Gym Saloon @ Backdrop City

It's Man-Pickle Monday!

I'm not going to write a great deal now, because I've already posted once today and I think that's enough Pickle-Dribble for one day.

Instead, please enjoy a regular installment of Man-Pickle for your viewing pleasure - and remember, TMD closes soon, so this is your last chance to pick up the amazing offerings for this round, so get there quick!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin : Stray Dog - Liam Skin - TONE 04 @ TMD

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley 

Eyes :  LOTUS. Cosmic Eyes 18 (Catwa) MYSTERY RARE (Gacha)

Ears : [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Hair : Dura-B&G82

Tattoo : *Bolson / Leonardo @ TMD

Outfit : COMPLEX / KEVIN SHORTS / HOODIE @ TMD

Sneakers : [VALE KOER] THE COUTURE HIGH TOPS

Reverse.

Background : [sau]MC clubhouse @ TMD

Here we have a wild Man-Pickle in his natural habitat.

Yeah I'm not sure where I'm going with that, but this look was fun to put together!

I think almost everything I'm wearing is available at TMD, so once again, STOP TELLING ME YOU CAN'T FIND DECENT CLOTHING, DUDES.

Thanks so much! *skips off into the sunset*

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body (Updated, should be sent automatically)

Skin : Stray Dog - Liam Skin - TONE 04 @ TMD

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley 

Eyes :  LOTUS. Cosmic Eyes 18 (Catwa) MYSTERY RARE (Gacha)

Ears : [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Hairbase : Stealthic - Male Hairbase

Hair : Dura-B85 @ TMD

Glasses : [Z O O M] Aviator 2018: Retro @ TMD

Tattoo : *Bolson / Leonardo @ TMD

Shirt & Vest : <Kalback> Denim Jacket @ TMD

Bracelets : [ kunst ] - Skull bracelets @ TMD

Shorts : not so bad . mesh . ADAM denim shorts @ TMD

Boots : Lenox - Rider Boots @ TMD

Going anywhere.

Pose : <K&S> ~Leonard~ Pose 2 (Slightly edited the head with Animare)

Props & Decor : Soy. The Kitchen @ TMD 

Sway's [Kaden] Rug with fringes . natural

JIAN Pudgy Persians 14. White Grubbin' Kitten (Gacha)

Sometimes when I take a photograph I'm not aware of a story before I've taken it, so I make one up on a whim until it makes sense in my head.

For this, we're in the not-too distant future. Man-Pickle is venturing out on his own for the first time, just him and his kitty, Chronic (idk, it sounded manly in my head. Love me?)

There are plates in the sink, because who likes washing up anyway, and there's a soup on the stove that will probably last him four or five days, because who even cooks?

His cupboards are almost bare, but so long as he and Chronic have a roof over their head, and the basic amenities, he's content. 

I really enjoy the bizarre juxtaposition of the semi-futuristic arm and the retro-esque kitchen in this picture, and as usual, I have absolutely zero complaints about anything shown, except the very minor clipping of the sneakers and the pants - but c'mon, it's so tiny I can't even be mad about that and didn't edit it out at all >.>

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body 

Skin : STRAY DOG -  TREY @ TMD  (Body textures updated, get a redelivery @ the mainstore!)

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley 

Eyes :  [JOE SL] CAULIFLOWER MESH EYES

Ears : L'Etre - Streched mesh ears

Hair : Dura-B&G83 @ TMD

Jacket, Shirt & Arm : MGmen's_Jacket_X-Bionic @ TMD

Pants : COMPLEX / THOM PANTS @ TMD

Sneakers : [ VERSOV ] CHOUPIOV_SNEAKERS @ TMD

Play me for a while.

Pose : ARISE Be Mine Pose 2 @ Romp

Bed : -DRD- Evening Romance -  White Clouds 

I'm not the greatest when it comes to keeping up with people in world. I can be distant and very introverted, hiding away on my platform or my farm (maybe I'll explain that one day, but for now I'm just going to drop that there) and doing my own thing. I tend to stick to a very small circle of friends who have proven over time that they are reliable and personable and I think that's the case with a lot of SL users now.
However, I'm also of the belief that if you make a commitment to someone, or a cause, or event, you should 100% follow through with that commitment, or vocalize the fact that you no longer want to be a part of that, yet sometimes it seems that communication can be an issue for people, and that is what starts to become frustrating.
In terms of blogging, there have been a couple of instances where if I hadn't spoken up, I would have lost some amazingly creative "sponsors" (I kinda hate that term and I'm noting this down to speak about at another date too), and there's also been at least one notable moment where I have 'lost' sponsorship over a misunderstanding, and upon attempting to find out more information have come up against a brick wall.
I suppose it's important to learn when it's a good time to back away, to rethink, rebrand and reboot part of your life, be that SL or RL and though it is always nice to receive a reason as to why someone has 'let you go' or moved on, it's not a pre-requisite, and sometimes you will not get the response you hope for.
Other times, you'll get just enough to learn from and improve on, and it'll give you the boost you need to grow, so I guess it all evens out in the end. ♥

All of the things, Santi :

Body, Hands & Feet : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body 

Skin : Skin (& Beard) : [theSkinnery] Javier (Catwa Applier)

Body Skin : Clef de Peau.Body 

Eyes : -SU!- Ophelia Eyes Fatpack /ULTRARARE/(Gacha)

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley 

Hair : Dura - B77

Undies :  Mossu - Kevin.Underwear

All of the things, Pickle :

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : Glam Affair - Deiene ( LeLutka Applier ) @ Collabor88 

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-CHLOE

Eyes : LOTUS. Blossom Eyes 01 @ Chapter Four

Ears : Random.Matter - Haruhi Ears

Hair : [RA] Andrea Hair (Purchased @ The Fetish Fair)

Tattoo : *Queen oF Ink - Marins B&W Tattoo @ Bodyfy 

Panties : Luder! Miyu Microkini