Nothing really matters but...

Pose : FOXCITY. Breezy-2

Before I go to sleep, I like to Youtube. I have a pretty select number of channels that I actually enjoy, from your generic make-up artists to more newsy type things, and sometimes even a good ol' conspiracy.

I was watching Philip DeFranco last night, he's a news type dude, but will give you the facts then if necessary he'll give you his opinion. I like this a lot. He seems fair, he doesn't appear to have an agenda, and I've been finding out some really cool shit about the world that I'd never have known before, because the mainstream news just makes me want to punch kittens through boredom.

Last night he mentioned how Instagram was going to start making likes on their posts less visible in order to raise the quality of content people were posting, and my dead little heart SOARED. THIS. This whole principle is exactly why I am planning a break, to distance myself from the "Likes = quality content" crap surrounding blogging and photography. I want to bring content to readers/viewers of my blog that adds something to their lives, whether that surrounds RL mental health issues and my perspectives, or something in SL that bugs me. I want to be slightly more informational, maybe more pictures indicating the quality of the product i'm blogging, maybe a feature on a sim, maybe more close ups and definitely more informational vlogs, which will hopefully increase in quality the more I practice!

My opinions will be broadcast even more. So if you don't like this part of my blogging, you can totally skip over it (probably like you already do, right?) and if you do, well you're gonna be in for a treat! 

The other advantage of me stepping away from the Likes debacle, will hopefully mean that I don't value the opinions of strangers on my work, and this external validation that I feel necessary will deplete. I know I'm decent at what I do, and if that makes me a big headed, entitled cowbag, I'll take that title. I know I 'deserve' things that other people are getting, but I also know that as much as I deserve what other people are getting, so do many many bloggers and photographers that are far better than I am, so why not just take that whole 'competition' aspect I feel from blogging away, and turn it back into what it should be, what it has been in the past, and what I love... a place I can show my style, give information and overall have some bloody fun.

Just today by taking away the "Omg I gotta" aspect from my photo, I feel like I encapsulated a side of the Pickle avatar that had been long forgotten, and it came easily. 

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : GENUS Project (Original)

Skin : . MILA . Neave Skin [Honey] GENUS 

Eyes : Veechi - Foxy Eyes @ UBER

Eyeliner :  Veechi  - Basic Glossy Liner

Hair : -FABIA-<Vitalina> @ The Gacha Garden 

Necklace : MINIMAL - Camera Necklace *Gold*

Shirt : evani. Polly ribbed dress @ Collabor88

Do what you do.

Pose, Lightsaber & Debris : *!R.O!* Force BENTO Pose 

Location : Mother Road - Mirage Motel 66 - Public

So today I think I blew up the world a little bit...

I don't mean that in a bad way, but the more I blow up, the more I realize that this is what needs to be done to rebuild.

I need to be a little vague right now, until I've actually decided 100% how to approach my plans, but there's going to be a few changes to my blog, how I blog and probably the over-all look of my blog. I've spent a long time (almost 4 years) feeling like I don't belong, so rather than attempting to fit in to a community that hasn't really offered me any support other than the early access to events and the occasional promo of stores looking for bloggers, it's time for me to really, really blog for me - to practice what I preach.

I'm nearing my 1000th post. I think that'd be a great new start... there might be a short break in between there, but as I attempt to make a difference to my RL, it's time I address my SL too, especially if I want to use the platform in a far more healthy way.

xoxo

All the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : Catwa Skin applier - Peach - Snow (Enfer Sombre*)

Eyes : LOTUS. Humanity Eyes @ The Gacha Garden 

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Passion> @ Dubai Event

Mask : CURELESS [+] Procedure Mask / VINYL WHITE CLEAR

Bodysuit : evani. Alice bow bodysuit @ Uber

Arm : [omnis]  BlackWidow/2 
Shoes : [BREATHE]-Mayuko Heels-@ Uber

Build it up, tear it down.

Uh. I forgot to note the pose again. Sorry. 

I was wondering today, at what point does a conversation go from being a conversation between two adults, to somehow delving into drama? 

Nothing has happened to me, so no need to be concerned or to start ruminating on who Pickle's gotten into a conflict with... calm yer loins dear Spoonies!

But literally 80% of the 'drama' I have had in Second Life has been me saying "Hey, I don't like that. It made me feel this way." and another party going "Well don't you get your drama panties in a twist drama llama, if you don't like this dramatic thing, it's all your dramatic fault."

Now this can be people I've known for years and years (but mostly not, because by that point we've gotten a rapport about accepting the other has feelings, apologizing for whatever we've said or at least discussing it so we understand where the other is coming from), or it is, more likely, someone I have known for days.

Is it really a case of "You're too sensitive, Pickle!" or is it more of a case of any time someones REAL feelings get bought into SL and it's not related to the happy endorphin filled feeling of love or lust, or want or need, it's suddenly backpedal backpedal pushaway?

I realize to some this might sound like I'm one of those people who get offended all the damn time, but I've reached a point in my life where I can accept that different people have thought processes that don't match mine. If you can provide a logical reason as to why you believe something that I find morally wrong, I'll probably come around to the fact that you have a point, but I'll still believe what I want to believe with a greater understanding of the other side. I have friends of all walks of life with very, very different beliefs, Muslims, Christians, Catholics, Trump supporters, Transgender, Gay, Straight, Male, Female, Black, White and Brown. I legitimately have no issues with -people- I have issues with their interpretations of dramatic. But ultimately, I'm responsible for my own feelings... and that too is something I need to remember.

If you're wrong, take accountability and just fess up. Hell, even if you're not wrong, if you've upset someone APOLOGIZE, meaningfully and allow the beautiful parts of that potential friendship to blossom, or walk away with a lighter heart and less of a headache.

xoxo

I thought I'd show you a back view of the pretty hair from Fabia available at the Gacha Garden.

The bow has it's very own hud and you can choose between some solid colours and a few beautiful patterns. Loving this hairstyle so hard!

The Candy Skin from Revoul is available in six tones. RE05, RE10, RE15, RE20, RE25 and RE30. I've chosen to wear RE10 in my main picture today!

It also has six candy coloured lipsticks and a shape, not blogged, so make sure you run over and go demo all the pretties! 

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Shape : Kaleidoscope : Revolution Shape.

Skin : Lefort by Revoul.Candy Catwa Applier @ Equal10

Head : CATWA Catya

Eyes : LOTUS. Humanity Eyes @ The Gacha Garden (Opens 1st May)

Ears : L'Etre - Pure mesh ears 

Hair : -FABIA-<Vita> @ The Gacha Garden (Opens 1st May)

Tattoo : DAPPA - Chris Tattoo.@ A+ Event

Top : +MB+ Ellie Top @ Level Event (opens 30th April)

I didn't know...

Pose : FOXCITY. Sits VOL2-6m

Beautifimous Proppages : {moss&mink} Trinity bath & Tera Planters (Grey) @ FaMESHedX

{moss&mink} #Blessed

{moss&mink} Paper Flowers

Fundati's Great Grass Chamomile

Pixel Mode - Anahata - Floor Candles (Check MP, no longer available gacha item)

Pixel Mode - Victoria's Bath - White Towel Stack (Check MP, no longer available gacha item)

{anc} bubbles . 

Okay Spoonies, so I know I had a total melt down a couple of days ago and basically spewed a bit of hate about how so unfair it is that recognition in blogging does not always equate to talent, but some delusional idea of 'fame', HOWEVER, I may have had an epiphany... and this is why I love blogging, because I get to share it with you.

I've spoken before about how my daughter lives with my parents, you may have to dig a little deeply to find that, but the full post is within this here blog, and I attribute that fact to me now being able to move on in a much healthier direction. 

Today my daughter called me absolutely distraught. We've had issues getting her to go to school on a regular basis, and today was one of those days. As punishment for her refusal to go, Grandad took away the internet, and she was sad about it because, like most 16 year olds, she likes to spend her days playing games with her online friends.

As I was trying to calm her and explain that when you're good, good things happen, and when you're bad you're punished, I suddenly realized this wasn't entirely true. So there I am, stumbling over my words and trying to explain that to my daughter, when it only just sunk in for me.

Don't misunderstand, I KNEW life wasn't fair. It just didn't sink in that one day I might have to explain that to someone else, nor that I'd make a bit of a twat of myself by expressing the very same sentiment in that one post we're never going to speak of again!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : Lefort by REVOUL Nicki Lelutka Applier 

Eyes : REVOUL - Revoulutionary Beauty Eyes 

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Somali> GROUP GIFT

Tattoo : DAPPA - Magnolia Tattoo. @ Harajuku

Bikini : Luder! Miyu Microkini 

Work it out.

Pose : {PINGPONG} MIMI Bento poses #4 (I don't think this store exists anymore, sorry.)

Background : FOXCITY. Photo Booth - RGB Drive @ Backdrop City

I feel super cute in this whole outfit, go buy it all, immediately, and feel cute with me!

(or don't, but at least tell me I'm adorable.)

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : . MILA . Christina Skin [Ivory] CATWA 

Eyes : {S0NG} :: Bubble Eyes 

Eyeliner : Veechi - Scarlett Liner [Catwa]

Ears : L'Etre - Pure mesh ears PIXIE

Hairbase : Tableau Vivant \\ Catwa hairbase 11 - A

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Madeline> @ Tres Chic

Choker : #SHOOK - Identity Choker {SAVAGE}

Shirt : BUENO-NeoTop @ Kustom9

Pants : SPIRIT - Nancy pants @ Kustom9

Shoes : Native - Guetta Sneakers  @ Access

Ok, so this vid is a little weird and I think in an attempt to be edgy they might have cut corners.. but I actually kinda like the song, and the vid was just kinda.. unironically ironic and almost cool. *blinks*.

Say goodbye.

Pose : Ana Poses - Chemnitz 4 (Male pose)

Background : [ isuka ] dead ahead backdrop

All of the things :

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Kittia

Skin : [Glam Affair] Serenity Applier [ Catwa ]

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Magic Pixie Ears 

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair  <April> (Previously @ the Dubai Event)

Mask : O.M.E.N - Animal Gas-Mask - Goat - BLK (Former Gift)

Tattoo : DAPPA - Hunter Tattoo. @ Vanity Event

Piercing/leash : ~MR~LeashChain~

Gloves : =Zenith=The Hollow Gloves 

Pants : Native - Rolled Jeans @ TMD

I don't want the world.

Pose : C&E LeaveYourHatOnGacha-2 (Found on MP, under a reseller - sorry!)

Props : [PM]Pixel Mode - Alston Bar Stool (This store closes on 10th April, all items are 75%+ off)

MADRAS Violin

All of the things :

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Catya

Skin : TRES BEAU MAKEUP CATWA BAE (PEARL)

Birthmarks :  [okkbye]  bold birthmarks 

Hair & Hat :-FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Agnes> @ Kinky Event (Also comes without the hat!)

Shirt : -Narcisse- Layla Lace Top @ Kinky Event

Pants : Addams // Muriel Suit Pants

Shoes : **UTOPIA@Design** - "LIA" - Multi-Texture

I know that it's a secret...

Pose : FOXCITY. Sits VOL3-1(Edited slightly with Animare)

Background : {moss&mink} Spring Birdbath (Part of the MadPea Spring Hunt)

{moss&mink} Bunny Hop hunt items,
including : {moss&mink} Bunny Platter - Cupcake

{moss&mink} Bunny Platter - Macarons

{moss&mink} Book & Magazine stack

{moss&mink} Bunny Cup - Mallows

NS::  Bunny Bag For Bunny Hop

Fundati's Great Grass Chamomile @ Cosmopolitan

(Fundati) Mossy Rocks

(Fundati) Coleogyne Bushes 

(Fundati) Ruins W/Ivy

Couple of hunt items available in the blog today. The first mentioned is the MadPea Spring Hunt, and you can find all details on the MadPea website, including the starting point. You grab a hud and run around the grid in search of cute creatures, capturing them on your hud. Depending on the amount of creatures you catch, you can then run back to the start point to pick up some prizes from selected stores.

The second hunt is the Bunny Hop, follow the link to find the starting point. It runs from April 1-14th, with 30 participating stores. It's claimed to be a hard hunt, so make sure your camming skills are amaze!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Catya

Skin : TRES BEAU MAKEUP CATWA BAE (PEARL)

Birthmarks :  [okkbye]  bold birthmarks 

Eyes : LOTUS. Liquid Eyes
Eyebrows : [okkbye] Adumbrate Eyebrows 

Hair : -FABIA- Gacha   <Norma> @ Lootbox

Hair bow, Necklace & Earrings : NS::  [Bunny Hop Hunt] 

Shirt : Mug - Flower Child - #9 String Tank Pink @ Lootbox

Shorts : BUENO-Spring Shorts @ Kustom9

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Li Ling Wedges @ FaMESHed

Wild with you.

Pose : Flamingo. Don't Let Go

Table & Chairs :  {moss&mink} Mila Garden table & Betty garden chair (Light) @ The Boardwalk Event

I think the Potatoman is trying to pull me into the ocean! 

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier 

Hair : -FABIA- Gacha   <Nansy> @ Lootbox

Tattoo : DAPPA - Divos Tattoo. @ ManCave Event

Swimsuit : +MB+ Bikini of Grace 

Catch up to love.

Pose : Le Poppycock *Run* 

All the decor things : Culprit Grande Carousel @ The Home & Garden Expo

 Culprit Fairground Carousel Dapple

 Culprit  Eku~ine Carousel Unicorn RARE (Gacha)

*alirium* DownyGrass [Green]

HPMD* Bush-a (Garden Tree04/brown)

HPMD* Garden Tree04 - brown 1B

TLG - Dawn's Promise Pink Flower Field Large

Check out the quick lil' video I did on the Grande Carousel!

Once again, Potato's net is being mean. I'm almost 100% certain he's wearing hair from Doux, Tattoo from Dappa, Outfit from Legal Insanity and maybeee his shoes are from Deadwool.

All of the Pickle things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : GENUS Project (Baby Face)

Skin : .: fiore :. MAXIE Genus Applier - SPF35 @ Kustom9

Eyeshadow : Veechi - Glossy Liners

Hair : DOUX - Allison Hairstyle 

Dress : -FABIA- Tunic <Sasha>

Socks : *MUKA* Garter Socks (2for1)

Boots : [VALE KOER] DANTE BOOTS (I bought these in a fatpack to be able to customize!) @N21

Dry my eyes.

Pose, Stem & Petals. : *!R.O!* 11 Mins BENTO Pose

Background : ninety - callejon [ backdrop ]

Healing is messy, and so is this week.

I hope to be back to uh... normal(?) soon.

xoxo

All of the things :

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Dragon Ears 

^^Swallow^^ Gauged Ear

Eyes : -SU!- Medora Eyes /Glitch Wasted/ (Gacha)

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Wendy> @ Whore Couture 

Headpiece : .random.Matter. - Amicus Halo [Golds] @ Kustom9

Tattoo : DAPPA - Kagami Tattoo. @ Neo Japan

Armor : [The Forge] Eldar Armour

Romper : -Narcisse- April Lace Romper  @ Zodiac

Conspicuous.

Pose : [La Baguette] Kazi G.sit poses 4

Background : FOXCITY. K-POP Star 2 - Ringa Linga (Rez) RARE @ Backdrop City

The tiger is from a Poseidon pose set, as part of a rare.

I seem to have rediscovered my love of the Black Dragon viewer today. I initially loaded it up remembering how smooth it was to cam around and thought maybe it would be a better option for vlogging, but when I adjusted my settings, I remembered how much I adored the crispness for photography, too.

I initially stopped using the viewer because it had become laggy and was cumbersome for me to move around on it, when I took a large picture, it would crash, and i'd have to relog and attempt to rez everything all over again, which had also become difficult. I suppose there's been a few updates since then, as it must have been 6 months or more ago that I stopped, but now everything runs far better, and nothing has changed on my end, except maybe driver updates!

Anywho, here's hoping that the curve of learning continues and my  photography only excels!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-PIPER 3.3

Skin : [Glam Affair] Maewe Applier 

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Dragon Ears 

^^Swallow^^ Gauged Ear

Eyes : -SU!- Medora Eyes /Glitch Wasted/ (Gacha)

Glasses : VCO . Zion glasses 

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Vanessa> @ Cosmopolitan

Necklace : *PROMAGIC* Kaali -Necklace

Tattoo : DAPPA - Conjure Tattoo. (Previously at Skin Fair)

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Elin Set @ Uber

Gloves : **RE** Motor Gloves 

Shoes : [BREATHE]-Konami Heels @ Collabor88

You know what they say.

Pose : Go&See * Divine * 8

Yup, still exhausted! ♥

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Head : GENUS Project (Original)

Skin : Lefort by Revoul Arabella Genus Applier  Tone RE 10 (+ Chubby Body Applier for Belleza) @ Collabor88

Eyeshadow : Veechi - Cyber Romy Shadow (50L friday)

Cheek Stars : Veechi - Cutie Stars

Hair : -FABIA- Mesh Hair   < Becca> @ Shiny Shabby

Tattoo : DAPPA - Hikaru V2 Tattoo. @ Limit8

Jacket : .miss chelsea. Eevi Jacket (50L Friday)

Panties :DAPPA  - Cursed Panties