Something in the air.

Pose : FOXCITY. Sass-6 (Edited with Animare & using Maitreya hand positions)

Location : Whole Wheat

Umbrella : 1.Yokai - Flower rain - Orchid RARE @ Lootbox

I feel much better today, almost at 100% functioning and I'm sure that given another good sleep I'll be back on it with all my spoons and ready to reach out. To those who have given me a poke, made me giggle stupidly and generally been around the past couple of days (even in the background while I gather myself and ignore you completely) I am grateful!

Today's picture I actually took and edited twice. Something about the first one didn't sit right with me after the quality I feel like I've been producing lately it felt like a back-step, so rather than just pumping a bunch of crap out, I took a step back and redid it.

I'm SO glad I did, this is a much more me picture and I wasn't hating it while editing, which to me is an absolute blessing!

I think that many people have forgotten about Whole Wheat, or just don't utilize it like they used to. For those who aren't aware, Whole Wheat is similar in design to Backdrop City. The difference is that the scenes contained are entirely created by Mr Toast & a couple by his lovely partner lady Tea (Seriously, can you get a cuter freaking couple than Tea & Toast? I mean, #goals!) I say entirely created, but for the most part the scenery itself is readily available across SL. Toast is a Sim Designer, and he sometimes spews a bunch of his creativity across his own little parcel - Whole Wheat (get it? Toast? Bread? WHOLE WHEAT? Ugh.), there are several smaller sets over a couple of floors and maybe 3/4 larger ones, spaced out. If you join the group (for a small fee of 150L), you're able to rez your own props and poses and optimize the cute set ups available there. WELL worth checking out!

I'm loving everything about this picture. I hope you see progression as I work, as I really am trying to improve consistently. 

Happy Saturday people, here's what you came for!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Catya

Skin : Go&See * Luna * @ Blush 

Eyes : .ARISE. Sadie Eyes

Eyeliner : Found in your Catwa hud, tinted.

Lipstick : Veechi - Juicy Lip Tint @ N21

Blush : Veechi - Princess Blush @ The Clique

Hair : Tableau Vivant \\ Stella hair @ Kinky Event

Earrings, Choker, Lingerie : .Oppa. Femme lace GACHA @ The Imaginarium

Nails : Astralia - Compatible mesh nails system

Nail Polish : Hello Dave - Nail Appliers - Astralia - The French One

Shoes : _CandyDoll_ Deya Wedge @ N21

Don't know what I'm doing.

Pose : FOXCITY. Insomnia-1 (Fatpack exclusive)

Background : uK - Mystic Dew Drops

ANTINATURAL[+] Post-Human / Void Bathroom @ Lootbox

As you may have guessed yesterday I've been feeling kinda meh for a couple of days and I decided to get that shit out of my system by taking a picture depicting it.

Little did I know that it would actually become more than I thought it could be.

Let me explain.

Along with being an anxious bunny, I struggle with depression. It's also no secret that I also have borderline personality disorder, which, like anxiety & depression, affects every sufferer differently.

This backdrop is absolutely fudging perfect to express all the feels I've been going through for the last few days. The spilling of the sink is everything I cannot deal with overflowing, my anxiety just running onto the floor as I struggle to cope with general day-to-day tasks as simple as feeding myself, or picking the phone up when it rings. The floor breaking under my feet signifies more of the falling apart I can feel, as though if I don't keep up appearances or plaster the smile on my face and act like a positive human being when I all want is to crawl into my bed, everything will crumble beneath me. Finally the door, the light at the end of the tunnel. It's not far, Pickle. All you need to do is stand the F up and walk a couple of paces and you're there. You've escaped.

But then you get to the bigger picture.

You're not struggling with the environment at all, really. It's the inner you. The monster you become when you can have an episode pushing those people who care for you and you care for far away.

There's expectation, the manacles, tying you to what you think you should be doing compared to the things you need to do to save yourself. Those chains, they're also your fears, if you break them, you have LITERALLY no excuse to not behave like a functioning member of society - but if it's been a while since you functioned, that fear on it's own can keep you locked up.

The collar around your neck, that's extra weight, distraction. Like pushing food around on your plate and never lifting the fork to your mouth you're just not feeding yourself with the positivity you need... another reminder that though you're technically free and you have the key to end your own suffering, you're not yet strong enough to stand up to what is essentially your own self.

So you just sit there, and you watch things fall apart around you, feeling sorry for yourself and rubbing at your temples because of the constant headache you feel, your eyes closed and those monstrous hands wrestling to stay tender as you soothe yourself in the best way you know how - in the safest way you know how.

Alone.

I'm reminded of a situation 10 years ago that has haunted me. I went to a tarot card reader. Something that always, always interested me. I sat down and she read my cards for me, and there is ONE thing that has stuck in my head, and that was... "You'll never be happy because you don't allow yourself to be happy."

To someone like me that's not just a blanket statement. That's something that has smacked me in the face every time I think that sought after happiness is almost within my grasp. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm miserable - the  majority of the time I'm really not, but I am definitely a realist... and I can't help feeling as though that one sentence from that stranger (Who also told me I would have a lovely wedding and go on to have twins - which was actually a totes balls-up), has effectively scrubbed any hope I had for happiness from my future because of ME. Because *I* am incapable of it. Essentially, I have victimized myself.

I don't mean to appear like a victim, I'm well aware that there are many, many people who deal with far more than I ever have, who are still standing tall and adulting effectively. I would love to find out why it is certain people have that ability and why I'm not one of them, but I'm not sure it'll be seen in my lifetime. 

Rest assured, despite this apparently negative post, I am not in an absolutely terrible place. I am not a danger to myself and although I may joke about going on a rampage with a machete, it's not currently on my to-do list. I'm aware this is a phase, and I actually feel a bunch better having succeeded in using this blog and picture as therapy.

I genuinely hope your friday is full of love and laughter and if it's not? There's almost always a tomorrow.

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body :  Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Shape : Kaleidoscope : Shine Shape

Head : CATWA Catya

Skin : .: fiore :. STACY Catwa Applier 

Eyes : CURELESS [+] Yuurei Eyes

Eyebrows : Bossie. Annie eyebrows [catwa] 

Eyeshadow :  Veechi - Pulse Shadow [Catwa] @ Uber
Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Ears Elf HD 

Hairbase & Hair : Tableau Vivant \\ Mei hair @ Neo Japan Event (Opens tomorrow, 31st March)

Tattoo : DAPPA - Draco Tattoo. @ Kinky Event

Collar : 21. [CX] Necronomic Mother - Collar - Mono/M/RARE (gacha)

Pasties & Panties : From the Moon Elixir - Gothique Gacha

Hands : ANTINATURAL[+] Post-Human / Monsterhand (Gacha) @ Lootbox

Cuffs : CODE-5 [OLD MANACLES ] 

Foot claws : [CX] Canidae Claws

Over it all.

Pose : FOXCITY. Sass-5

Background : MONS / 3D - Hello World Photoshoot Decor (style2)

I think I woke up okay today, and then just began to slowly deteriorate mood-wise for no apparent reason, and now I'm staring angrily at the PC as though it's my nemesis.

For that reason, I am not going to write anything more, just check the credits k? K. 

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body & Feet: -Belleza- Isis
Shape : Kaleidoscope : Shine Shape

Head : CATWA Catya

Skin : .: fiore :. STACY Catwa Applier 

Eyes :  CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eyebrows : Bossie. Annie eyebrows [catwa] 

Freckles : Bossie. freckles & beauty marks [catwa]

Eye Liner : . MILA . Princess of Darkness Makeup

Highlight : . MILA . Metallic Highlighter

Lipstick : [PF] CATWA LIPSTICK - Pure Matte (Purples)

Ears : Random.Matter - Haruhi Ears

Earrings :  :: SAGA ::  Leonore Earring DUO @ ULTRA Event

Hair & Hairbase : HoMAGE -- James Joint 

Necklace : Kibitz - Felicia's thick choker - RARE 1 (Gacha) @ Lootbox

Outfit :  .miss chelsea. Yara Bodysuit & .miss chelsea. Yara Pants @ Uber
Hands : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara (Yes you can wear your Maitreya hands! Activate SLINK FIT on the Belleza body, but be aware you WILL need omega/maitreya enabled appliers for skins & tattoos!)

Nails : Astralia - Compatible mesh nails system

Nail Polish : Hello Dave - Nail Appliers - Astralia - The Bold One

Rings : Kibitz - Adelie rings 

Bracelets : Kibitz - Kayla bracelets & Kibitz -- Olivia Watch (Bracelet only)

Open your eyes.

I tried to capture peace in this image. Initially, Pickle's eyes were open and the blink function was activated on my head animations, but I accidentally caught this shot and decided this was the one.

The Go&See Skin shown here is available at the Blush Event, which opens up today (28th March). Along with it, there's also three lipstick packs which are optional add-ons (not shown). It's also worth noting that the usual tones apply to this gorgeous Luna skin, and you can find the full range and almost all of the body information in a previous post of mine >Here<

The shirt from Miss Chelsea was a 50L Friday exclusive colour. However, there are similar shades available in their mainstore at full price, so go grab the things!

Tableau Vivant have offered up these long, flowing locks. They come with several different versions (as is becoming commonplace with Tableau Vivant hair-do's), and the fringe/bangs section is an optional add on. This is definitely a hair you need to demo if you're a fan of length!

NS Store has delivered the adorably cute unicorn headband for The Secret Hideout. If you haven't purchased anything from NS before, I highly recommend you do so. Not only are the items cute as fudge and incredibly reasonably priced, but they're also scripted with a detailed colour hud that allows you to change almost every piece individually. 

 xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Catya

Skin : Go&See * Luna * @ Blush (Opens 3pm SLT 28th March)

Eyes :  LOTUS. Blossom Eyes

Hair : Tableau Vivant \\ Selene hair @ Uber

Headband : NS::  Unicorn Horn Headband @ The Secret Hideout

Shirt : .miss chelsea. Aida Top 

Falling from the sky.

Pose : .HG. Suckit Pose

Background & Propthings :  .Oppa. - Moon Balloons 

 .Oppa. - Moon Sits 

[P] Pillows, Magical Night: Swirls (Gacha)

I had a lot of fun with creating the picture for this post! I'm obviously still experimenting with all the effect thingies, and though I'm well aware i'm no expert, I'm not too sad at how this came out!

You can probably tell I wanted to create an out-of-world experience, mainly because the Moccino skin was created after Lupito Nyong'o and she's in Star Wars (She's the CG Character "Maz"), so when I stumbled across these amazing accessories from Oppa, I just knew it was a perfect fit.

I've kept the clothes kind of casual, The Empire top comes in two versions, the other having a collar effect around the neck with a delicate strip of fabric down the centre of the chest. I should really have shown both options but I'm naughty and neglected to. Sorries!

These CandyDoll boots are something I have been itching to get my hands on for a while. They're still available at Whore Couture until the 31st, so hurry your butt over to pick them up, because as usual, they are stunning!

More details are shown below, so grab a LM and shop your little (medium, or big) butts off!

xoxo

All of the things :

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Catya

Skin : Moccino - Lupita Skin (Chocolate Tone)

Eyes :  CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eyes : -SU!-Delora Eyes Fatpack /ULTRARARE/ (Gacha)

Hairbase : Moccino - Nyong'o Hairbase

Ears : L'Etre - Stretched mesh ears

Earrings & Choker : .Oppa. - Moon Accessories

Shirt : #EMPIRE - Long Crop Top @ Kustom9 

Panties : [VALE KOER] WAIST PANTIES 

Boots : _CandyDoll_ Mya Boots @ Whore Couture Fair 8

Begin.

Pose : *!R.O!* Mistress BENTO Pose

Cane : elymode: Bamboo Cane

Background & things : BUENO-NightSpot Loft Building @ Uber

Stockholm&Lima: Vanguard Cross (Metal) @ RLD 

Quasi - Merman Glitter, Part of the Dildo Collection @ RLD 

I realize that this might be a slightly unusual turn on Man-Pickle Monday, but honestly, I'm not sure how much I care today! SL is a place for expression. It's a place people come to be something they're not, or everything they are. Something they can't be, but something they feel they should be. For me, it's an outlet where I can experiment with creativity - sometimes within the perimeters of an avatar, and other times with decor and pictures.

I love that there are creators within our community that will push the boundaries of 'normal' expectations and make items for all types of people regardless of labels.

Also, can I just swoon over how much fun i'm having with the Red Light District event? If anyone has followed me from the start of my blog will be aware, I have steered quite far away from anything remotely risque, but this has pushed me and thrown me out of my comfort zone a little, making me re-think the way items are portrayed. and allowed me to get a little kinky and different - which I absolutely adore. Here's to pushing the boundaries further in the future! 

xoxo

All of the things :

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara with the [V-Tech]Boi Chest Mod For Maitreya 

Head : CATWA Magy

Skin : !Lumae Catwa - Neoma - T5  @ Ostara's Altar

Eyes :  CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eye Appliers :  LOTUS. Lovely Eyes

Eyebrows :  Bossie.  autumn eyebrows

Blush : :: MOMOCHUU :: Catpan Blusher - Heart  A (Gacha)

Lipstick : [PF] CATWA LIPSTICK Applier - Pure Matte 

Hair : *barberyumyum*S02

Choker : #3 - CHAIN - Shade - Choker 

Crown : ERSCH & BEO - Boudoir Secrets gacha @ Lootbox

Collar : ERSCH & BEO - Boudoir Secrets gacha - collar_RARE @ Lootbox

Outfit : [V-Tech]Vivian @ RLD 

Panties :[V-Tech]Basic Thong

Under my skin.

Pose : Go&See * Diva * Couple Pose (Discounted exclusive for the Finders Keepers hunt)

Backdrop : [BH9] PlayRoom (Resized A LOT!) @ RLD

I'm always incredibly nervous about posting images that portray me naked, as I honestly believe there is more to photography than ass and tits. I'm even more nervous today because I'm also attempting to show a black skin. It's not the skin that is the issue but because I am so white I'm nearly blue and English (from a small suburban-type town), I'm ignorant to a lot when it comes to black culture. 

In MY opinion, this skin is beautiful (there's more information below) and the woman it's been crafted after was bought up a couple of weeks ago in a conversation I had with some friends about "bald" female actresses, and I pointed out Lupita Nyong'o as someone who I found extremely pretty, regardless of the length of her hair. 

I've also seen a bunch of FB posts lately claiming that there aren't enough black skins that don't have an ashy appearance, or that are just a recolour of a white-based skin.

This is definitely not a white-based recolour, and although I'm not entirely familiar with "Ashy", I find this skin quite the opposite.. there's an absolutely gorgeous luminescence to it. I have been super excited to get my hands on it! Keep scrolling for ALL the details & ALL the pictures!

All of the things, Santi :

Body, Hands & Feet : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body 

Skin :  STRAY DOG -  KILLMONGER @ Shiny Shabby

Eyes : -SU!-Ophelia Eyes Fatpack /ULTRARARE/ (Gacha)

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley 

Ears :  L'Etre  - Ringed Mesh Ears

Hair & Hairbase : Yuth: Hurt-Bae & Yuth: Hurt-Bae Hairbase

Face Tattoo : DAPPA - Post Face Tattoo

Body Tattoo : DAPPA - Oblivion Tattoo @ Man Cave

Undies :  Mossu - Kevin.Underwear

All of the things, Pickle : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Catya

Skin : Moccino - Lupita Skin (Cacau Tone)

Eyes :  CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eyes : -SU!-Delora Eyes Fatpack /ULTRARARE/ (Gacha)

Eyeshadow : Veechi - Moonlit Shadow @ Uber

Hairbase : Moccino - Nyong'o Hairbase

Hair : : Puft : Cadence  

Ears : L'Etre - Streched mesh ears

Tattoo :  DAPPA - Tsubasa Tattoo. @ Sanarae (Opens Today!)

Nipple Piercings : [ bubble ] Ring Nipple Piercings Set  @ RLD

Panties : [VALE KOER] WAIST PANTIES 

As usual, all pictures are unedited except for the cropping effects. They're taken on firestorm in calWL without shadows.

This picture shows the Moccino - Lupita Skin on the Catwa Catya head, in the Cacau tone.

Left - Right, Eyebrows, No Eyebrows, Eyebrows & Freckles, No Eyebrows & Freckles.

This picture shows the Moccino - Lupita Skin on the Catwa Catya head, in the Chocolate tone.

Left - Right, Eyebrows, No Eyebrows, Eyebrows & Freckles, No Eyebrows & Freckles.

I find it incredibly difficult to pick a tone I prefer. Both of them have a warmth I am not used to seeing on black skins, and the lips are just stunning. I will say I did attempt to add a lipstick on top of them, just to peek, and I struggled to find one that was giving full coverage, so bear that in mind - although the natural lips are perfect with just the right amount of natural shine, and if you pair that with a bold eyeshadow (like the one from Veechi shown in the main picture) you really don't need to add anything more.

The freckles on both tones are awesome too. To make it even better... there's body options that match!

All of these options are available in both skin tones, but shown here on the Cacau tone.

Left to right : Basic, Freckled and Moles.

I hope more skin creators start adding mole & freckle options, because this is serious heart hands to me. I adore freckles and moles, and keeping my tattoo layers free for actual tattoos is always a bonus!

Also available is the Moccino - Nyong'o Hairbase Collection, in the four colours shown above.

Yellow moon dancing.

Pose : Go&See * BonBon * 8 @ The Secret Hideout

Background items & Props : 

Spargel & Shine Homes : Primula Beach House

{moss&mink} Snugglebed 

{moss&mink} Ornate divider (Black)

{moss&mink} Plant - Ficus (Black)

{moss&mink} Plant - Palm (Black)

Set available @ Illuminate 

Also shown from {moss&mink}: 

{moss&mink} Be happy Wall Hanging

{moss&mink} Double Coffee table

{moss&mink} Picnic in the Park - Vintage Radio (Gacha)

Tableau Vivant \\ WE in London - Fruits plate (Gacha)

Tableau Vivant \\ WE in London - Newspaper&books (Gacha)

Tableau Vivant \\ WE in London - Our breakfast (Gacha)

SUNFLOWER by MAD MATCH @ Illuminate 

FAnCY SUNFLOWER by MAD MATCH @ Illuminate 

LAGOM - Daisy sparkles @ Limit8

Sometimes I like to watch the people on Youtube, and one of the chanels I enjoy is Safiya Nygaard.

If you don't know who she is, I've linked her stuffs >HERE<. Basically, what she does is take a theme for her video, usually fashion or beauty, and then she'll run off and make herself into a 1960's fashionista, or dress like a store mannequin for a week. She's fun, relevant and her personality is just quirky and awkward enough to appeal but be successful in her delivery of information.

In one of her videos she decided to dress for her star sign, and then followed fashion magazines suggestions for a week. This intrigued me, because I've always had a vague interest in star signs (not sure how much I believe, but I DO enjoy reading about mine) and obviously, fashion is pretty important to me too.

When I read the Gemini Horoscope from Glamour >HERE< the whole thing made complete sense, even down to the colour palette & textures used - which is actually one of my favourite of recent posts. I have always loved yellow and sunflowers, and even before I had read my fashion horoscope this post was in my mind... it's comfortable to me. It's wearable, fashionable without being in-your-face, has a pop of colour for a little bit of attention and I would honestly wear this kind of thing in real life. All the points on the Glamour article were correct - and it makes me wonder, ARE horoscopes geared toward being suitable for everyone, and its just coincidence that I fall into this category, or is this an actual science? I feel like I'll never fully understand the whole horoscope thing, but it's often fun to delve into it and have a look at how it's 'supposed' to impact your life. 

xoxo 

The (almost) full range of Go&See * BonBon * poses @ The Secret Hideout, Almost because somehow I think I missed one. >.> It happens! I changed my hair here to MINA - Audrie, purely so that you could get a glimpse of the hand poses without them being obstructed by a bundle of gorgeous curls. These poses are available singularly or as a $L saving fatpack.

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Head : CATWA Magy

Skin : LOTUS.12 Rebecca Skin (tone 02) (Catwa) @ Pocket Gacha

Eyes :  CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eyes :  LOTUS. Rebecca Eyes @ Pocket Gacha

Hair & Sunflower : Beusy: Citrus Hairstyle + Sunflowers  @ Kustom9 

Necklace : +Half-Deer+ Forest Charm - Bunny Necklace (Gold) (Gacha) @ Lootbox

Outfit : .miss chelsea. Eevi Romper (Waist shirt attached) & .miss chelsea. Eevi Jacket @ N21

Nails : Astralia - Compatible mesh nails system

Nail Polish : Hello Dave - Nail Appliers - Astralia - The French One

Boots : #EMPIRE - Winterberry (Formerly @ Shiny Shabby, please allow some time for transfer to store)

We shine.

Pose : FOXCITY. Stairs (Sitting)-2m 

Backdrop & Props : FOXCITY. Photo Booth - Cherry Blossom @ On9

nani - cherry bloom - labrador C-2 (Gacha) @ The Arcade

dust bunny . potted dragon tree @  Collabor88

I had a whole different post planned for today, but just before I turned off my PC and headed to bed yesterday, Miss Chelsea dropped this dress to their bloggers and everything changed.

I HAD to show this, because it's only 50L for 50L friday! You need to take advantage and go grab the things immediately! It's also available in a 'petrol' colour, and definitely worth a grab, because not only is the fit & quality exceptional as always, but it seems like the type of item you can dress up or down, so basically it's an inventory staple! 

I'm also absolutely in love with this Dappa tattoo. You may see this several times in my blog from today, because it's SO flippin' gorgeous, and it needs to be seen in it's entirety and not just as a sticky-out arm or leg. I was a bit cautious putting it on a darker skin tone, but even using my regular "faded" version favourite, I'm swooning. It's definitely a much more feminine tattoo, which is great, but I still think guys can pull this off, so don't be shy to try it out!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body & Feet: -Belleza- Isis
Shape : Kaleidoscope : Shine Shape

Head : CATWA Catya

Skin : .: fiore :. STACY Catwa Applier 

Eyes :  CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eyebrows : Bossie. Annie eyebrows [catwa] 

Freckles : Bossie. freckles & beauty marks [catwa]

Eye Liner : . MILA . Princess of Darkness Makeup

Bindi & Septum : 3.  ^^Swallow^^  Supreme Gold and Strawberry 3 (Gacha)

Lipstick : [PF] CATWA LIPSTICK - Pure Matte (Purples)

Hairbase : Just Magnetized - Basic Hairbase - SPECIAL EDITION 03

Ears : Random.Matter - Haruhi Ears

Hair : #Foxy - Muse Hair  @ Kustom9 

Choker & Necklaces : Kibitz - Felicia's thick choker - RARE 1 (Gacha) @ Lootbox

Tattoo : DAPPA - Tsubasa Tattoo. @ Sanarae (Opens 26th March)

Dress : .miss chelsea. Lili Tee Dress 

Hands : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara (Yes you can wear your Maitreya hands! Activate SLINK FIT on the Belleza body, but be aware you WILL need omega/maitreya enabled appliers for skins & tattoos!)

Nails : Astralia - Compatible mesh nails system

Nail Polish : Hello Dave - Nail Appliers - Astralia - The French One

Rings : (Yummy) Raining Diamonds

Shoes : _CandyDoll_ Gina Heels @ Fameshed