Music, and the poetry of words hits you right in the feels.
The song I'm using today is "Satellite" by Gabbie Hanna. Apparently, she's a semi-well known youtube vlogger, but honestly, I'm not entirely aware of her presence there.
Her song, however, hit me hard.
I've already described myself as slightly anxious, but I often have issues with social settings too. I'm convinced that as we start to rely more on the internet to socialize this is going to become a common problem. However, online I tend to be slightly more outgoing than that of the real me. Whether that's because i'm subconsciously masking the parts of me I don't like, or I have more confidence behind an avatar, I'm not entirely sure. What I do know, is that sometimes, I just CAN'T people.
I say the wrong things from the beginning. I forget new people don't know me, and don't understand my humor, so I backtrack and confuse myself and them.
Listen to the lyrics of this one, please. She might not be Beyonce, but give it a chance. Maybe you'll relate too.
Sometimes when I put an outfit together I get an "Oh no bb, what is you doing?" moment. Not gonna lie, I sorta had that with this one, but incorporating a story behind the outfit really helps for me.
See, in this picture I've been out all night. I've half undressed in a semi-drunken stupor, pulling on a comfortable pair of shorts and fallen into bed, exhausted from a night of dancing and drinking.
At some point in the early morning, I've woken up with cotton-mouth, and reached over for a glass of water. After sating my thirst, I've decided to sneak out of the window and hop up to the roof for a cheeky smoke, adorning my feet with the shoes I wore the night before in order to watch the sun rise and the stars dissipate before my eyes.
I've been accused of being pretty interchangeable, of not being the same person from one day to the next. Although I feel that -mostly- i'm the same, I can understand where this viewpoint comes from.
In terms of SL, I feel like every day I can be something new. I can be a neko, a human, a minotaur (i've not tried that yet, but now it's on my to-do list. Do they come in girl-form?), a goth, a babygirl etc etc, and generally when my clothing changes my mood does a bit too.
Where I believe my soul is ultimately the same daily, every interaction, every slice of information I learn *I* think shapes my view of the world. Sometimes I can come across as quite the pessimistic asshat, other times, I'm legit telling you how content I am with things exactly as they are, and in the next breath wishing I could do -this- better, or be -that- to someone.
We're complicated and sometimes, while we're busy trying to figure out ourselves, we lose pieces to situations, other people, and often our own selves in an attempt to fit in, or shelter ourselves from former hurt.
Over the last few years especially, I've been trying to understand myself.
My theory is - I'm not a label.
Much like the premise of the film "The Breakfast Club" back in the 80's, we're more than just the labels we attempt to define ourselves with, instead we're all just humans, peopleing.
I think we often forget that ideal. It's so easy to be "Hey, so you like Cats right? Guess that means you hate Dogs!" as though because you enjoy one aspect of a 'thing' you hate another 'thing' automatically. We're too quick to assume and judge for the most part, and in making those assumptions and judgments we're missing out on scenarios and other humans who could benefit our lives in ways we've never imagined.
I'm making myself a promise to attempt to be more open. I'm not afraid of being interchangeable, I'm not worried about enjoying different styles of dress, or having my opinions challenged (in an adult & constructive fashion of course).
We're multifaceted individuals, and our past has shaped us in ways we can't define. No one person has walked your path, in your shoes, except YOU.
It's time we started accepting the good parts, while being unafraid to voice the negatives in a forward-thinking and positive light. Someone's hurt your feelings? TALK to them. If we don't understand each other, how can we ever be at peace?
I've had a complete giggle creating this outfit. I absolutely loved the coat/shirt combo as soon as i put it on, exploring the incredible colour hud, my friend squealed out "He [man-pickle] looks like Santa's naughty son!" and thus, Son-Of-Claus was created.
Most of my items can be found at TMD, a new round opens tomorrow, so grab your wallets, lads!
I'm not talking chances of winning the lottery. I'm talking about the question, "When is it right to cut someone out of your life?" and "Is there ever a time you should allow them back?"
I gotta admit, I can be either really effin' stubborn, or really effin' stupid.
Recently I've allowed someone back into my life, only to figure out that they're probably the same as they were last year. No growth, no change, just the exact same stalemate from this time twelve months ago. I'm frustrated, of course, but the only action I can see is to show them how little they think of others, and how much others could potentially think of them.
I don't see myself as a mentor, but maybe I have a little bit of White Knight in me. Sometimes, I just don't want to give up on those who are lost, lonely or confused. I think this mainly stems from a understanding the pain of feeling alone.
Don't get me wrong, I have the potential to be the world's biggest butthead. I just try, super hard, to not let that bitter, angry bitch in me rear her ugly head too often, but when she does - please duck and cover because cutting words go flying, and it's really hard to take those back.
I like to think I'm growing constantly, and becoming better - so why shouldn't somebody else too?
Ultimately, this usually leads to too many chances, but I'm putting my foot down this time. If something doesn't give, I'm gone.
Includes : {moss&mink} All that Glitters - Ruffle Wreath (classic)
{moss&mink} All that Glitters - Bauble Terrarium (classic)
{moss&mink} All that Glitters - Boxed Ornaments (classic)
{moss&mink} All that Glitters - Deer (classic)
{moss&mink} All that Glitters - Candle Red
{moss&mink} All that Glitters - Gift Pile (classic)
{moss&mink} All that Glitters - Candle Purple
{moss&mink} All that Glitters - Christmas Tree (classic) RARE
{moss&mink} Sweet Treasure - Walnut Formerly @ The Candy Fair
Dogs : Cheekily unlinked from the ::GR::Pose -Christmas with my Dogs
I'm never sure when it's too early to start celebrating Christmas.
For Americans, it seems that as soon as Thanksgiving is over, the decorations for Christmas come out, but in England, we don't do Thanksgiving.
As a child I remember being super excited to come home from school and find that Mum had pulled the big boxes down from the loft. There were always several items that became expected to be out come mid-December. Mostly things that lit up and annoyed my Dad!
I always thought Mum went a little too far, she'd change the cushions, tinsel would hang from the ceiling and surround the lamps. my brothers and I would be goaded into licking the ends of foul tasting strips of paper in order to make garlands that adorned the hallway, and there was always a battered paper Santa & Reindeer blu-tacked to our stair railings.
The thing I remember most though, is decorating the tree. Ornaments from years back would make their appearance, and with words of warning from my Mum we'd carefully slip them onto the tree, under her guidance. And then when we went to bed, she'd re-arrange them and hide all the bare spots!! I think, even now, she's one of the few people who still enjoy putting candy canes and chocolate foiled treats on the tree... And I'm certain she gets some sadistic pleasure in telling us (even as adults) not to touch the sweeties!
Decorating this post bought back a lot of memories. Even those scents you get when you pull out the Christmas decorations for real, and the utter excitement that you experience as a child, or when you're including your own children in the whole scene. They're some of my favourite family memories.
Moss&Mink have done a fabulous job of grabbing at those memories and it's worth mentioning that the set shown also comes in a pastel version, which is JUST as adorable as the classic version shown in my post.
Big thanks to Adrian for helping and being my man-Dolly today. I've included some of his items, but bear in mind I only blog ALL of the items I'm wearing.
I'm busy doing all the organizing stuffs for the opening of Consent tomorrow, so I'm currently beavering away just crossing the t's and dotting the i's etc.
You're all cordially invited, of course. The theme is post-apocalyptic and well, you should know how completely excited I am! Our DJ line up is extra-ordinary and I'm so proud of the little team that has come together.
I'll drop the flyer and a LM after the all important credits!
Mean-time, check out the amaze choker & ring set by Amala - and grab them quick, they're only 50L for friday!! <3
