In the moment.

Pose : FOXCITY. Bouquet (VIP Gift)
Bouquet : :: Scandalize:: GIFT ROSES 

Background & Furniture things : Trompe Loeil - Margaux Photo Backdrop + Surround @ FaMESHed
Chandelier : Refuge - Carnegie Lighting
Chairs : Refuge - Vintage Fur Chair
Balloons : Sese - Balloons sweet & Sese - Cute Heart (Gacha) @ The Chapter Four
Curtain & Lights: {moss&mink} Drop Curtain (NEW LANDMARK!)
Table : +Half-Deer+ Valentine Tea Table
Teaset : Fancy Decor: Proper Tea Set

This post has been a bit confusing to work out how to express. I knew I wanted to do something with Santi, but I wasn't sure how. I also didn't really want to do your typical Valentine's post ON Valentines day... and I'm going to explain both of these things.. so bear with.

Addressing the fact that I didn't want to do anything loveydovey on Valentines day is going to be difficult, which is probably why it's a couple of days after the event that this is finally coming together. 

I'm sure there are many people like me who although they may adore the 'idea' of Valentines day, the actual day itself has always lacked. I don't mean anything super negative has happened, it hasn't... but I've been alone for so long without a partner in either RL or SL on Valentines that it had become another day for those coupled up people to rub it in my face that they were celebrating with someone who they love, while I was on the couch with my ice cream, wondering if Cupid was ever going to visit me.

This year, I didn't want to be one of those lovey dovey couples just because I have a Santi. I even caused a massively dramatic scene the day before that exhausted me, purely because in my experience ANY "Holiday" has had a negative context when I have been in a relationship with anyone. The last really good Valentines day I can remember has been when I was 16, and back then, it mattered because of teenage angst and knowing someone liked me enough to give me a card and spent his last £1.50 on a banana milkshake from McDonalds for me was more than I could have wished for. (I don't even like banana milkshake, but to this day, I don't think the guy knows that!!)

I also don't buy into the whole "This one day makes up for the rest of the year where I don't tell you that I love you. and I'm only buying you a gift because I feel like I absolutely have to thanks to the hugely advertised day that today is and if I don't you might physically hurt me" or something maybe less sensational.

So I did what I always do, and over-talked Santi into an explanation of "Although I get the appeal of Valentines day, I don't want presents and I'm not just saying I don't want presents I really really don't want presents, but I do want to spend the day with you are you confused yet?" kinda thing, because I do not want ANYONE to feel like gifts they are getting are because some person a long time ago decided lovers needed to express their love on this specific one day a year. I want gifts I get, or gifts I give to be personal and given purely because I popped in their mind at -that- point. Not out of obligation.

Lawd. Take a breath, Pickle.

For the actual blog post, I wanted to make it somehow different, and luckily this dress from CandyDoll totally allows for that.

It loosely connects to Santi's blog "This Guy's Eye" that you can find >Here<.

As you can see from his post, he's wandering along to my house. I want you to imagine me peeking out of the window, seeing that view and snapping a quick photo to remember that moment. Then skip along to my top picture... Santi has handed me the bouquet, and snapped a quick picture of me, along with the special tea I've prepared for him.

Naturally, after some cake and a cup of tea, things have progressed, and you'll see below, they're becoming a little heated... what happens next isn't suitable for my blog. :P

As usual, more details below ♥

Pose : HERA Sensual Couples Pose #3
Santi's Blog

All of the things :

Body Hands : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : Moccino - Catwa Skin Applier - Maria (Shout out to Moccino for some amazing customer service, too!)

Head : CATWA Lona

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eye Applier : LOTUS. Origin Eyes @ Pocket Gacha 

Birthmark : [okkbye] bold birthmarks

Ears : Random.Matter - Haruhi Ears

Earrings :  :: SAGA :: Valentine Heart Earrings (Free Group Gift, available for purchase without group)

Hair : [RA] Rachel Hair - Essential

Necklace & Choker : Kibitz - Love necklaces - gold

Dress : _CandyDoll_ Layla Dress (Note: Dress comes with two versions included, open & closed. Open shown on bottom photo & will give a view of your netherbits!) @ Collabor88

Rings : Kibitz - Love rings - gold

Boots : _CandyDoll_ Layla Boots @ Collabor88

Not alone.

Pose & Birds : FOXCITY. Fairytale Bento Pose

Location : Southern Roots

Got some fabulous goodies from Fantasy Gacha Carnival, Oppa & Dappa. As usual, check below for all the details. ♥

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : Glam Affair - Deiene ( LeLutka Applier ) @ Collabor88 

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-CHLOE

Eyes : LOTUS. Blossom Eyes @ Chapter Four

Hair : AD - Bound Box - sense

Tattoo (Top) : Tattoo : DAPPA - Rozu Tattoo. @ Anybody

Tattoo (Bottom) :  DAPPA - Saku Tattoo. @ Kinky Event

Floral Head-dress : .::Nanika::. Fiona wreath RARE (Gacha) @ Fantasy Gacha Carnival

Forehead Head-Piece & Necklace : .Oppa. Fae Jewelry 

Antlers, Shawl, Garter, Calf & Shoes : Moon Elixir - Star Gazer  (Gacha pieces) @ Fantasy Gacha Carnival

Belt/Skirt : ERSCH - Pirate Gacha @ Fantasy Gacha Carnival

Trading places.

Pose : <K&S> ~Leonard~ Pose 3 1

Location : Brand New Colony

I'm having immense troubles using my brain today, so this will be quick!

Santi and I were exploring yesterday, after many, many days of me saying "TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NEW!" he stumbled across this sim. Let's be honest, SL has and is becoming a place where we tend to introvert more, standing alone or with friends on platforms has taken over and finding pretty places to hang out, even for photography is more and more difficult because the pretty places are generally kinda private, or involve a heavy fee to get into. This sim... THIS SIM... is someone's home. They have clearly lovingly created a place with exceptional taste, with nooks for cuddles for intimate moments, and areas where you can invite friends and sit and chat. I am beyond flawed by the quality of this sim, and this photograph of the delicious Man-Pickle does not do it any justice. I implore you to visit, the only thing the sim owners request is that you are nice, so don't be a dick, k?

Also worth mentioning, rezzing is open, with a timer... so you can throw a pose down but it WILL get returned to you promptly, unless you're sitting on it. ♥

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body 

Skin : STRAY DOG -  SHIRO @ TMD 

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley 

Eyes :   LOTUS. Blossom Eyes @ Chapter Four

Ears : ^^Swallow^^ Gauged Ears

Hair : [INK] Hair__ AIFC @ TMD 

Sunglasses : [Z O O M] Kaion Glasses @ TMD 

Sweater : COMPLEX / OLAF HOODIE @ TMD 

Bag : ExalteD - Bag @ The Men Jail

Pants : <Kalback> Original Jeans M4 @ TMD 

Sneakers : Bleich - Mesh Musa @ TMD 

Back to reality.

I forgot to save the pose for this, but it's been edited with animare anyway so don't kill me, k? ♥

Location : Consent (Adult) - Trailer Park temporary build.

I had a bunch of fun setting up this scene for Consent, and we had a riotous time on Friday with our DJ's and friends! Having a place like Consent is difficult, it's become very dear to me, not just because it's my place, but because I feel like it's a place SL has been missing for a long time. So now I am attempting to take more of a pride in it. Every Friday (almost), we're going to have a theme party. I'm going to design a new area specifically for that party and it'll remain up until at least the Wednesday of the following week.

The regular Consent area will still run as usual, so people can chill & hangout there, too.

The theory behind Consent is pretty simple. Respect. That is the foundation that I want to build a community on. It's a slow process, but gradually I am seeing an interest build, but like any new place, it's taking time. Luckily, I'm pretty darn stubborn and I'm not about to give up yet!

The group is free to join, and always will be. I have turned 'chatter' off in the group, because I believe if you want to talk to people, you should attempt to be around them, and with that in mind I have set up little areas around the build to be able to do just that. A cosy camp-fire, some couples cuddle spots and some naughtier do-hickies if you wanna get nasty. Voice is active (but not necessary), unless there's a scheduled DJ event (Friday nights at the moment), and there are plenty of games around if they tickle your fancy (Speedbump, greedy, cheesy, skippo, cards against humanity and maybe a couple i've forgotten).

I want to encourage people to talk openly here. SL for many of us has become a place where we isolate ourselves further from society, perhaps occasionally opening up to new people, only to close down when we get burned and pushing people away. I hope Consent will remain a safe-place with good people and chilled vibes for a long time, and I also hope that you'll visit, check out the information package and read up on how you can be a part of it, too.

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : Lara Hurley-Rie Milky 

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-CHLOE

Eyes : LOTUS. Blossom Eyes 01 @ Chapter Four

Glasses : (Yummy) Quinn Frames

Hair : TRUTH HAIR Betsy

Romper : _CandyDoll_ Kaylee Jump 

Shoes : _CandyDoll_ Kaylee Heels 

Play me for a while.

Pose : ARISE Be Mine Pose 2 @ Romp

Bed : -DRD- Evening Romance -  White Clouds 

I'm not the greatest when it comes to keeping up with people in world. I can be distant and very introverted, hiding away on my platform or my farm (maybe I'll explain that one day, but for now I'm just going to drop that there) and doing my own thing. I tend to stick to a very small circle of friends who have proven over time that they are reliable and personable and I think that's the case with a lot of SL users now.
However, I'm also of the belief that if you make a commitment to someone, or a cause, or event, you should 100% follow through with that commitment, or vocalize the fact that you no longer want to be a part of that, yet sometimes it seems that communication can be an issue for people, and that is what starts to become frustrating.
In terms of blogging, there have been a couple of instances where if I hadn't spoken up, I would have lost some amazingly creative "sponsors" (I kinda hate that term and I'm noting this down to speak about at another date too), and there's also been at least one notable moment where I have 'lost' sponsorship over a misunderstanding, and upon attempting to find out more information have come up against a brick wall.
I suppose it's important to learn when it's a good time to back away, to rethink, rebrand and reboot part of your life, be that SL or RL and though it is always nice to receive a reason as to why someone has 'let you go' or moved on, it's not a pre-requisite, and sometimes you will not get the response you hope for.
Other times, you'll get just enough to learn from and improve on, and it'll give you the boost you need to grow, so I guess it all evens out in the end. ♥

All of the things, Santi :

Body, Hands & Feet : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body 

Skin : Skin (& Beard) : [theSkinnery] Javier (Catwa Applier)

Body Skin : Clef de Peau.Body 

Eyes : -SU!- Ophelia Eyes Fatpack /ULTRARARE/(Gacha)

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley 

Hair : Dura - B77

Undies :  Mossu - Kevin.Underwear

All of the things, Pickle :

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : Glam Affair - Deiene ( LeLutka Applier ) @ Collabor88 

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-CHLOE

Eyes : LOTUS. Blossom Eyes 01 @ Chapter Four

Ears : Random.Matter - Haruhi Ears

Hair : [RA] Andrea Hair (Purchased @ The Fetish Fair)

Tattoo : *Queen oF Ink - Marins B&W Tattoo @ Bodyfy 

Panties : Luder! Miyu Microkini

Conscious caring.

Pose : FOXCITY. Sits VOL3-5 (Fatpack exclusive)

Background : FOXCITY.  KPOP STAR - 6 (Gacha)

[we're CLOSED] fur carpet cream

Apple Fall Huge Fan Palm

JIAN Pudgy Persians 17. Black  Grubbin' Kitten (Gacha)

Poseidon Savage Land Tiger RARE (part of a pose set @ Fantasy Gacha Carnival)

Refuge - Selene Ottoman Pink/S @ The Coven (Notes : The Selene Ottoman comes in a selection of colours, with the option of gold or silver accents. It's also available as a PG or Adult item, definitely worth checking out!)

ZOMG! So today's post is running a little later than planned, because photoshop decided to crash on me when I was about 20 minutes away from clicking 'Save'.
Somehow, I calmed myself down and didn't throw my computer out of the window... and then started over, hitting save sporadically in case the same thing happened again!
I'm not sure what's with me today, but I got about 20 minutes towards clicking 'Save' again, and CLOSED THE FUDGING FILE. Yes. That's right. "Close all" does JUST that.

Anyway! Let's talk about this dress for a minute, k? See them thar sparkles? They're not added fancy effects. The dress is most definitely materials enabled and when you wiggle around, be that with an AO or a dance, or yanno, pose, the dress LEGIT FREAKIN SPARKLES. Not only that, but there's an array of colours, it caters to Maitreya, Belleza Freya & Isis(with push up & perky options), AND Hourglass, so everyone can get into this slinky number and parade about feeling like BAJILLIONS of Lindens! Check out the gif below!

All of the things :

Body & Feet: -Belleza- Freya

Skin : Lara Hurley-Rie Milky 

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-CHLOE
Eyes : LOTUS. Blossom Eyes 01 @ Chapter Four
Hair : pr!tty - Demy @ The Coven 
Tattoo : DAPPA - Rozu Tattoo. @ Anybody
Dress : #SHOOK - Loquita Dress Pink (Mainstore)
Shoes : #EMPIRE - Chrysanthemum 

Follow through.

Today, things just wouldn't do what I wanted them to do.

For some reason, I slept forever last night. I mean, it was obviously needed, and when I woke up I had ALL the ideas for a completely different post. However, sometimes things don't go quite as planned. Instead of doing what I've been doing normally, I tried far too hard to push myself outside of my comfort zone, and because of the amazing capacity I have to overthink, I somehow managed to completely spin myself in circles and thus NUFFIN' was happening the way I'd envisioned it.

I ended up scrapping that first idea I'd spent 4 hours on, and hurrumphing around like a sad puppy for about 30 minutes, ran around a few stores with half-an-idea and bought some things I'm never going to wear, and then really started over. For real.

I guess that's sort of how I feel about this picture.

Unintentionally, it became a piece i'm actually really stinkin' proud of. 

I hope it speaks to you, just a little. I hope you see that even when it's raining, when there seems no way out, there's still a light. There's always something positive to focus on, and there's always another way to look at any situation we're forced into. Things will get tough - likely, they'll always be tough, whether that's actual life, or secondlife. I just hope you find the strength to continue doing what you love, because the results can lift you more than you thought possible. ♥

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : Lara Hurley-Rie Milky 

Head : LeLutka Bento Head-CHLOE

Eyelids : L'Etre - Natural mesh eyelids

Ears : Random.Matter - Haruhi Ears

Hair : Tableau Vivant \\ Rain hair  (7 styles mesh hair!!) @ Collabor88 (Opens 8th Feb)

Earrings : :: SAGA :: Dalia Earrings (Mainstore)

Nails : ::SG:: Karm4 BENTO MESH NAILS @ Bodyfy (Opens 8th Feb)

Rings : *PKC* Barbwire Bento Rings @ Bodyfy (Opens 8th Feb)

Chest Piercing & Tattoo : !TLB - Tristar Dermals + Tattoo @ Bodyfy (Opens 8th Feb)

Bodysuit : Foxes - Kendall - Bodysuit (gacha) @ The Epiphany