Another life.

Pose : [La Baguette] Caprice poses 7

I have a busy day today! I'm quite excited, actually.

Back in around May, I shaved my head. It was something I had considered for about 6 months.Thankfully, it wasn't because I have suffered any kind of physical sickness, but more because my waist length hair had been left uncared for, and the only way I could think of to make everything better and actually begin some kind of self care routine in terms of my hair was to start over. It was around a number 5 when I shaved it, so no, not all the way down to the scalp but pretty darn close!

I have never had hair shorter than my shoulders before, and my hair had definitely become a way for me to hide. I would pull it forward and use it almost like a curtain. If I can't see you, you can't see me... kind of like how I imagine Peek-a-boo works with babies!

Shaving my head was incredibly scary, but also strangely liberating. If you haven't already watched "Nappily ever after" on Netflix, I thoroughly recommend you do, whether you have afro-style hair or otherwise, her journey is inspiring.

Anywho, today my hair has gotten long enough for me to actually get it cut into some kind of style.

I'm hoping for a Pixie-like cut, kind of like Emma Watson from "The perks of being a wallflower", but I'm not a Hollywood actress, nor am I in my early 20's, so we'll have to see exactly how that works out!

The location for today's shoot is a mystery, and will be revealed upon it's completion. I know, you can barely see a barred window, but who doesn't love a little mystery in their life??

Have a wonderful Thursday!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : Lara Hurley- Beth

Head : CATWA Lona

Eyebrows : Bossie. alice eyebrows 

Sad make-up : DeeTaleZ MakeUp CATWA & STANDART "SAD"

Birthmark : [okkbye] bold birthmarks 

Lipstick : From the Catwa hud

Nose piercing : [VEX] Double Crossed Nosering

Hair : TRUTH / Batty (VIP Group Gift)

Collar : Choker :  #SHOOK - Identity Choker [Crybaby] @ The Level Event

Love Bites : Arise Love Bites 1

Sweater : BUENO-Carrie Top @ Collabor88
Nails : -SU!- Livana Nails .GothBabe.
Rings : Kibitz - Nightmare ring set 

Panties : [VALE KOER] WAIST PANTIES BLACK

Tattoo : DAPPA - Swarm Tattoo. @ Vanity

Shoes : Reign - ROME LACE UP HEELS

The eyes of a stranger.

Location : Elysion 

Please allow me a moment of insanity while I squee incredibly excitedly over this skin by Go&See!

Although I'm wearing it on the Genus (beta) head, there is also a Catwa and Omega applier supplied for the head texture (so you can literally try it with nearly every head on the SL Market), and the body texture is an Omega applier, too! As always I suggest trying a demo before purchasing, as shading positions can vary from head to head.

When paired with these gorgeous eyes from Lotus, I really feel like my Genus head has come to life - which is quite difficult considering the Beta limitations as they are right now. I am so excited for the full release of this head, I can't wait to see what is going to become of this brand!

I hope your humpday is filled with laughter and joy!

xoxo

All of the things! : 

Skin :  Go&See * Nana * Pale @ The Seasons Story

Head : GENUS Project - Genus  Bento head  - Mocap (BETA!)

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eye Applier : LOTUS.  Abundance Eyes  @ The Seasons Story (Also available in Lelutka Appliers & Regular Mesh eyes)

Nose Piercing : [VEX] Double Crossed Nosering

Hair : Tableau Vivant // July hair (Reopening Gift! Includes Style Hud!)

Choker : Eclat - Velvet Choker

I'm a hater.

Pose : FOXCITY. Sits VOL1-2m

Location : Backdrop City (I forgot to note the background, so sorry!)

I've always believed that when you apply stress to a situation it has two probable outcomes.

1. You apply the pressure slow enough, and with a steady enough hand and it actually improves the results, ending in you learning from your experiment and giving you a positive result.

2. Due to carelessness or impatience, you overload the situation causing a negative response and thus rendering your experiment a failure.

I understand this is probably fairly cryptic, but there's legitimately so much going on right now that this faux situation makes complete sense to me for several issues that i'm currently addressing.

Sometimes, life can feel like you're standing at the bottom of a giant trash mountain holding nothing but a plastic spork, when really what you need is a JCB and the team from "Hoarders".

My only option is to take one day at a time, laugh at the mistakes and the occasional rubbish bag that rolls down the mountain, and keep my chin up, because finally I can see the sunrise behind that mountain of shite.

Also, as a side note; while I consider myself a little bit of a warrior for a better understanding of mental health, and less stigmatizing, I truly believe those of us who suffer from issues need to take responsibility for ourselves sometimes too. I know from experience this is incredibly hard, it takes introspection and a certain amount of self-examination, plus the ability to be completely honest with yourself. However, behaving like a shitty person cannot be blamed on your mental health, because despite your issues, the majority of the time your decisions aren't based on your mental health, but on your personality. If you continually make shitty decisions, and they negatively affect those around you but you choose not to do anything about you, that doesn't just mean you're 'mental' and you cannot keep blaming your 'issues' for them... instead, you need to take responsibility for yourself and understand you are being a terrible person and make the changes necessary to improve that. Only YOU can do that.

Happy Tuesday!

xoxo

Body & Hands: -Belleza- Freya

Skin : Lefort by Revoul.Nicole 

Head & Make-up : GENUS Project - Genus  Bento head  - Mocap (BETA!)

Eyes : -SU!- Ophelia Eyes /Fatpack (Rare Gacha)

Nose ring : [VEX] Double Crossed Nosering

Earrings :  :: SAGA :: Aura Earring Set @ Kustom9

Hair : *barberyumyum*S06(brown)

Necklace : Kibitz - Dont want ur attention necklace 

Outfit :.miss chelsea. Lumi Bodysuit & .miss chelsea. Lumi Shorts @ N21

Rings : (Yummy) Free Spirit Rings

Sneakers : [VALE KOER] HEY TRAINERS 

Where you at?

Pose : AP - Wellington 4 @ TMD

Location : Netherwood

I didn't even realize today was Monday, that's how completely lost I am right now lol.

I have two girl-posts ready to blog, but when I came-to and figured out it was time for Man-Pickle I admit, I had a bit of a freak-out. I mean, I'm not prepared! Where has my weekend gone? What the fudge did I do? WHY WAS THERE NO ALCOHOL INVOLVED?!

Anyway, turns out that this look was actually fairly easy to put together with thanks to items from TMD. I know, I know, I say this every single week, but really... it's all you need. That and a little patience when it comes to things like editing your shit. Seriously guys, don't just put a necklace on. Put a necklace on and make it fit around your neck and above your clothes. It might be a little extra effort, but that five or ten minutes (or thirty for some of you), is really going to make the difference on your avatar!

I'm kind of in love with Man-Pickle right now. I've always liked guys with long hair, and dreadlocks have appealed to me forever. I also adore this skin from Modulus, along with the combination of the eyebrows and beard from Unorthodox, all available at TMD this round.

For those not in the know, TMD opens on the 5th of every month, and runs for the duration. That means there's maybe just over a week left for you to get shopping for this round. Next round I believe is a Birthday round, so I'm super excited to see what happens and the offerings for the man-av SL community!

xoxo

All of the things : 

Body, Hands & Feet : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body 

Skin : Modulus - McKinley Skin @ TMD

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley 

Brows & Beard : Unorthodox Cali Brow & Beard @ TMD

Eyes :  LOTUS. Cosmic Eyes 18 (Catwa) MYSTERY RARE (Gacha)

Ears : [MANDALA]STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 HUMAN

Hairbase : Stealthic - Male Hairbase
Hair : booN MWO577 hair 

Necklace : [VEX] The Leaf 14inch @ TMD

Outfit : BlankLine LayerSweatShirts/Jeans @ TMD

Rings : MINIMAL - Chevaliere Rings @ TMD

The ghost in my heart.

Pose (F) : {PINGPONG} MIMI Bento poses #4 (Can't find this store anymore :( )

Location :  Consent (Adult)

I'm coming at you from Consent again! I'm so excited about this project I can barely breathe!!

Our grand opening is going to be this Saturday, 2nd Dec at 3pm SLT. We have DJ's lined up until 11pm and some seriously amazing things happening throughout the duration of the event! It's going to be post apocalyptic themed attire, so be sure to wear something awesome if you want the chance to win some fabulous gift cards from a few very generous sponsors (names to be released closer to the event).

We are already open for visitors & hanging out. Now would be perfect if you like to take photographs yourself, because I have a feeling we're gonna blow up the grid soon!!

As for today, halfway through my taking the photo for this, Kaiden popped up, and sat on the chair behind me. He looked so cute, and I was busy looking all forlorn and stuff, and the whole scene looked like we'd just had an argument, so I decided to steal him. I'll give you some of his details too, even if he is just playing the part of blurry Man-Dolly!

All of the things, Kaiden : 

Note, not everything he's wearing is listed!

Body & Hands : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body (updated to 4.4 sent automatically)

Head :  CATWA HEAD Daniel

Eyes :  -SU!-Darcey Eyes

Hair : Stealthic- Rebellion

Jacket : [Deadwool] Genoa jacket @ District 20

Jeans : Legal Insanity - Dirk jeans

Shoes : SEMLLER SLIP-ON 

All of the things, Pickle :

Body & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : ItGirls - Catwa Skin Applier - Lore Pale

Head : CATWA Lona

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eye Applier : LOTUS. Fairylight Eyes @ Tannenbaum

Eyeshadow : -SU!- Ilienne Eye Makeup

Nosebleed : --SU!- Nosebleed (Add Me)

Nose piercing : [VEX] Double Crossed Nosering

Glasses : .random.Matter. - Yeol Glasses

Hair, Hat & Earphones : Nutmeg & Entwined. Camille 

Necklace : TOUCHIC MSg Necklace The Best Gold Rare (Gacha) @ Limit8

Shirt : ED. Oversized Shirt @ Hipster Women's Event

Shorts (Shown below) : *BOOM* Cozy Shorts 

Socks & Boots : #EMPIRE - Proteas @ Sad November (Closes Dec 2nd)

A better idea of the 'full' ensemble, showing the *Boom* Cozy Shorts.

I've also blogged them previously >Here<

Counting to fifty.

Pose : <K&S ~Leonard~ Pose 1 1

Location : Consent (Adult)

Man-Pickle Monday has become one of my favourite days of the week.

It's a chance for me to throw myself into the deep end and attempt something completely different. Many times I've bought an item and thought "That'd look amazing on a guy!" or "This says it's for men, but let me just throw it on my girl av anyway."

When dressing a girl, it's fairly easy. Our choices are far less limited than the males of SL, and that's kind of how Man-Pickle was born.

He's been a semi-regular on this blog for a while now, and he's even featured in some friends pictures & blog posts. The only thing that is mildly irksome is that I can't be both Man-Pickle and Girl-Pickle at the same time, so there's no pictures of us together as yet! I think I'll work on that, maybe in the future I'll be talented enough to make it happen!

I'm never sure if I've made him look "Manly" enough. I mean, sure, he's obviously a dude, but for a long time I struggled with his facial features... particularly the eyes. They just never looked like man-eyes and always had an air of femininity. This skin, however.. let me just say I would!!

A few of these items are at TMD (The Men's Dept), and that's closing within the next few days, so make sure you hurry and grab the goodies!

All of the things :

Body & Hands : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body (updated to 4.4 sent automatically)

Head Skin : [theSkinnery] Ralph (Catwa Applier) @ The Mens Dept.

Body Skin : Clef de Peau.Body 

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley 

Eyes :  -SU!-Delora Eyes Fatpack /ULTRARARE/ (Gacha)

Ears : [theSkinnery]  Human Ears 

Piercings :  -SU!- Piercing Set 05 

Beard : Beusame // Beard V29 

Hair base : Stealthic - Male Hairbase 

Hair : Stealthic- Hunter

Necklace : [VEX] 24inch Herringbone Necklace @ The Mens Dept.

Tattoo : DAPPA - Da Vinci Tattoo.

Shirt : DAPPA  - TDC - Trip. @ Men Only Monthly (Note: Check out the other designs available!)

Bracelet : Kenvie - Lion Bracelet @ The Mens Dept.

Pants : BlankLine TightColorPants @ The Mens Dept.

Sneakers : [VALE KOER] HEATUP SNEAKERS 

Close up! ♥

Feel this.

Pose : *!R.O!* Attraction BENTO Pose w/ Mesh Phone

I've been sitting on this post for a little while, trying to get to grips with new things. This was supposed to be an introduction to said new things, but other things got a little hectic and I may have been distracted like a magpie with shiny objects... however, it's all settling down again now, and I'm hoping that rather than it being an introduction to new things, it can now be re-introduction to old things, with a view to new things in the future. *Blinks*. Just go with it. :P

I don't always rush around like a headless chicken, but when I do, I do it with intensity and passion.

It never ceases to amaze me that you can have an idea in your head for the longest time, and it'll take one situation to make a thousand electrical wires suddenly connect together in your head, and bring something wonderful. It's even more wonderful when you realize there are a large group of people who feel exactly the same way you do, and make what you're attempting to fuse together come alive, giving it more purpose.

That's exactly what's happened to me.

In building an experience, I started to HAVE an experience.

Some of you may have heard about my new project. It's a lil place called Consent. The only reason I'm mentioning now, and not previously, is because I had a soft opening for it last night. It was going to be a quiet affair, a few friends and simply ticking the "Show in search" button, but somehow it expanded into a bit of a party, and unexpectedly, it was really cool!

I have had the concept in my head for the longest time, and finally seeing it, I can say wholeheartedly that I am proud. It is entirely my creation, but the team that is gathering behind it is what is really going to make it stand out.

I don't want to give the game away. I don't want to gush too much. I do want to leave you with a Landmark, the grand opening is on Saturday 2nd Dec between 3-7pm SLT, but everyone is welcome to peruse the area at any time before then. There are games, intimate spots & little nooks everywhere. It is an adult themed area, there is a voluntary group (with no fee) that you can join to stay updated, and there will be new features popping up shortly that will benefit your group join.

I hope to see you there!

>Consent Landing Point<

All of the things :

Body: -Belleza- Freya 

Skin : Essences - Anya @ Kustom9

Head : CATWA Lona

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eye Applier : -SU!-Delora Eyes Fatpack /ULTRARARE/ (Gacha)

Nose piercing : [VEX] Double Crossed Nosering

Birthmark : [okkbye] bold birthmarks

Freckles :Bossie. freckles & beauty marks

Hair : Tableau Vivant \\ Wispers in the wind @ Collabor88

Tattoo : Dappa - No Love @ Man Cave 

Tank : Addams // Sophia Tank Top

Hands : Slink Hands - Dynamic

Nails : Astralia - Compatible mesh nails system

Nail Polish : Hello Dave - Nail Appliers - Astralia - The French One (Free Gift @ Astralia)

Shorts : Jourda x Lena Boy Shorts (I believe the store is under construction)

I made a mistake.

Location : Fall Trace. 

I've had a bit of a roller-coaster weekend, emotions wise, and needed a familiar release... so although yes! This is a blog post! I'm not officially back. Or maybe I am. I'm still not sure.

I feel like as with most things, I may have rushed in. It's always weird to me how things can appear wonderful from the outside, without too much thought, but the second that a link is broken you're suddenly capable of seeing all the flaws, all the red flags... and upon meticulous dissection of conversations and situations, you're left with a feeling of "Oh shit. I fell for that again, didn't I?".

I am the very first to admit that I'm less than perfect. You want to insult me? Go ahead. There's no freaking way you can insult me more than I insult myself. As with many people, I have a myriad of issues with regards to mental health, and one of them is Borderline Personality Disorder. 

I tell people not because I'm worried about doing them harm. I'm not evil or malicious. Neither am I a liar or a manipulator. I do however defend myself and my thoughts rather rigidly, and once I've come to a decision (and no doubt ranted through all my options with some very patient friends), I will probably (maybe) listen to your perspective, decide I've already considered this (which I will have, and about 12 other points of view), and go along and do my own thing anyway. I'm kind of a bitch like that.

I tell people about my BPD in the hopes that they will actually do some research and/or take the time to understand me and my thought patterns. I'm learning that the people I don't want in my life make no effort to understand me. I'm pretty set in my ways. I'm terrifyingly introverted (although noisy af... it's a thing.), and I am undoubtedly scared to death of being abandoned (among other things, of course).

I have also come to terms with the fact that my BPD means I'm a target for a certain personality type. I'm pretty sure we've all been in a relationship that has made us feel uncomfortable, that has given us the "Bad Gut" feels, which we may have ignored for a little too long, or forgiven for a few weeks/months or years longer than we should have...

But what happens when your gut doesn't do it's job? The gaping emptiness, the broken promises, and then the ultimate betrayal of being blamed for being you dig yet another hole of insecurity into your heart, and you find yourself thinking "If I keep doing this, I'm going to lose myself completely".

This seems like a depressing post... and I apologize... but it's not really depressing, is it? It's a learning curve. It may be that an emotional weekend has caused me to re-evaluate myself and my actions, but ultimately;

Hi. I'm Pickle. And I'm still here bitches.

All of the things :

Body: -Belleza- Freya 

Skin : Essences - Anya @ Kustom9

Head : CATWA Lona

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eye Applier : -SU!-Delora Eyes Fatpack /ULTRARARE/ (Gacha)

Ears : ^^Swallow^^  Rox Ears 

Nose piercing : [VEX] Double Crossed Nosering

Hair : Tableau Vivant \\ Cindy @ Kustom9

Necklace : Amala - The Genevieve Necklace @ Kustom9

Shirt : {le fil casse} Allison Top for Luxe Box October

The world is yours.

Pose : Imitation - Ally 4

Location : Oh Deer

All of the things : 

Body Hands & Feet : Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara

Skin : Go & See  * Coco * - Summer @ The Seasons Story

Head : CATWA Catya

Eye Applier :  LOTUS. Bermuda Eyes (Gacha) @ The Guardians

Glasses : PEACHES. - Koni Glasses

Nose Piercing : [VEX] Double Crossed nosering

Hair : [DUE] Marcella (Gacha) @ The Secret Hideout 

Necklace : Amala - The Alessia Necklaces

Dress : _CandyDoll_ Wendy Dress  @ Collabor88

Nail Appliers (Maitreya) :  Go & See  * Maitreya Nails * @ The Dark Style Fair (Opens 14th October)

Rings :  Amala  - The Atara Stacking Rings

Boots : #EMPIRE - Matthiolla  @ The Seasons Story

Take your time.

Pose, Joint & Phone :  *!R.O!*  Texting BENTO Pose

Location : [:: SPLASH :: ] 420 Hangout //Voice Chat Beach (Adult)

All of the things : 

Body & Hands : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body

Skin : STRAY DOG - YORI - TONE 06  @ The Mens Dept 

Head :  CATWA HEAD Stanley

Eyes : CATWA Mesh Eyes 

Eye Applier : LOTUS. Tenshi Eyes - Chairo (Catwa) RARE (Gacha) 

Ears :   ^^Swallow^^  Gauged Ears

Septum : (Yummy) Lotus - Gold 

Freckles & Moles :  Bossie. freckles & beauty marks [catwa]

Hairbase : #SIIX // Cambodian Hairbase

Hair : Besom~ Ruby Said (Gacha)

Tattoo :  *Bolson / Tattoo Mesh Body Pack - Hanzo

Shirt : TonkTastic - Cotton Tee -Weed&Peace @ The Mens Dept 

Watch :  [VEX] The Wilson @ The Mens Dept 

Pants : Lenox Leather Pants @ The Mens Dept 

Boots : Razor & Wretch /// Omen Boots @ The Mens Dept (Note : There's no Signature Fit for these boots, I'm wearing the TMP version, and they fit pretty well, but as you can see in the photo above there is SOME clipping in certain poses. Demo first!)