Taken in the DRD - Swamp Shack at my permanently unfinished home!
Lemme talk to you for a minute about Magic.
Don't you start shaking your head at me, and trying to tell me it doesn't exist... you're likely to get a whole desert spoon thrown at your face!
It's a new year. I knew that it would be when I went to bed at 9pm last night, and waking up this morning it was true, but here's where the magic starts to work.
Every single day we have is a new start. I understand how easy it is to fall into the trap of feeling like you have to wait for something big to happen before you make the changes you need, but you don't need to wait for anything. You really can start today, or yesterday, or tomorrow.
The magic I'm talking about comes from inside YOU. Honestly, I know this might sound a little trite and contrary, but I don't even care. YOU have the power to make whatever changes you want to make, right now! It doesn't have to be a giant leap - if you can leap, great! I'll applaud you. But if you can only manage babysteps, and you're making an effort, I will without a doubt applaud you just as loud.
If you go to bed believing that you're a failure because that diet you wanted to start didn't happen, or because you didn't even get dressed today and it was supposed to be the year of getting your shit together, don't worry! Don't beat yourself up or deny yourself for a whole lifetime of tomorrows, but do ONE thing for yourself today, even if it's as simple as admitting you're a human. You can do it, if not today then TOMORROW.
I'm pretty sure I've explained my love of Sunflowers.
I'm beyond excited to show off this gorgeous Dappa tattoo, and it took me a moment to decide how to portray it. Literally, this tattoo just melts my very soul.
I know I talk about when I was younger a lot, but Sunflowers are one of the few things about my childhood that literally fill me with all the happy. I remember growing them at school, and having silly little competitions with my brothers to see who's can grow the tallest. I remember them growing in my mums garden, covering the fence and the trellis, making the garden look like it's surrounded by sunshine. I remember drying out the heads when they're finished and hanging them up so that the birds and squirrels could munch at the seeds.
They also remind me of my Grandad, but I don't really know why. Maybe somewhere in the deep recess of my mind there's a memory I don't quite grasp, but it's quite likely my Grandad grew these in his garden too.
I hope today is a good day for you. Shine bright, my lovelies.
Manners aren't about you. They're about other people.
If you don't have them, even in SL, I get a little... irritated.
Maybe this is where being "Too serious" comes into play.
I'm not talking about an accidental bump at a busy sim (although it'd be nice to say sorry, but my avie doesn't feel anything so I'm probably not going to be seething over that). but I do feel like there are certain things that you shouldn't do, just because it's not respectful.
For example, many of us like to use voice...
Keeping your voice open so that we can hear the comings and goings in your household, listening to you chew, listening to your spouse shout at the television etc... that to me is annoying.
I mean, there are obvious exceptions. When you know someone really well, a lot of those things can be overlooked, and can even be endearing. But at a random sim? Nope. Take it private, Karen.
I also think it's really easy to say a genuine thank you. It doesn't have to be a long drawn out thing, involving gifts and an emotional display of gratitude, but a simple "Thanks for showing me something I didn't know." is pretty darn amazing.
Saying goodbye is another thing that people seem to forget in SL too. Ok, sometimes you miss the opportunity when you're in a large group, but one on one?? Say goodbye before you tp out to spend time with other friends. It's really not that hard.
I'm a firm believer that when you go into a relationship with a person, you go in with mostly no idea how that person 'prefers' to be loved.
I think there are 5 ways you can show a person affection.
1. Words of affirmation.
2. Quality time
3. Receiving/Giving gifts
4. Acts of service
5. Physical touch.
I actually googled the correct terminology, and this seemed as close as I was gonna get, so we're gonna nod and smile and thank the google gods at this point haha.
Anywho, I'm an anxious little monkey, and whenever I tentatively step into a new relationship, be that romantic or platonic, it takes me a few days to get comfortable with someone's head-space, and then it takes me even longer to really learn about them, and I am highly suggestive to these 5 ways of showing I care.
For me, words of affirmation are difficult. I don't tend to blow smoke up the bottoms of those I care about unless it's a special occasion or I'm feeling especially sappy. For me, while words are lovely and I adore the power of the written word especially, they are just that. Words. I do try to tell people very often how much they mean to me, but i'm not terribly good at it. It makes me more awkward than usual!
Quality time. THIS. I need this. And I need to know when I'm getting it, or when you can't be available to me. I have a massive fear of abandonment, and if you just disappear I will be quite likely to take that badly. There are always exceptions to the rule. In SL if you were to tell me "Hey, so things are going great in RL and I just don't want to be around SL anymore" I'd be fully supportive and tell you I hope I never see you again (In a good way!), but if the reason for your absence is unknown, that's when I start to feel hurt. I fully admit I'm the worst for just needing time for myself though. I might drop away from you for a while because I need the space, and never reconnect because I feel terrible for not being there when I needed to take care of me first.
For me, giving/receiving gifts is a bit odd. It really depends on who it is and what the gift is. I'm all for seeing a gacha and playing it simply because a friend will like it.. but if we're talking something big and fancy, the chances are I'll get uncomfortable again. If I love you, you will get little bits I find that remind me of you. A bloody dolly for my favourite Punk friend, that shirt I wore in a man-Pickle post for a guy friend that I know he will enjoy. I like to make my gifts in RL too, like little jewelry pieces with stones that mean something personal, or birthday cards with private jokes. Not just "Here, I don't want this. You have it." Although sometimes that's appropriate too. I'm almost always awkward when someone makes something/gives me something though! It makes me very emotional!
I feel like the 'acts of service' thing is where I struggle the most. I'm a very giving person with my time, as a natural born people pleaser I have a hard time saying "NO" when someone asks me for my time. For me, the gift of your time is the most important. I don't care if that means we sit and eat Pizza together while talking about our bad days, or if it means I'm popping over to landscape your land, lend you that chair from my inventory, or show you how to do that one thing I know how to do in photoshop. I like being a go-to, and it's taken me a while to accept that sometimes other people like to do things for me, too... I will always be fairly independent, but I am learning to take a back-seat sometimes as well.. I'm just stubborn about that!
Physical touch within SL is obviously the most difficult. In RL I'm a tactile person, but hugging is awkward! I'll probably smack you around a bit if I like you as though I was a 5 year old schoolgirl with her first crush. "Ew, you smell funny!"
In a romantic relationship I like holding hands and uh.. without sounding creepy or pervy, stroking! Haha. I will stroke your hair, your leg, your hand...Public displays of affection again make me cringe, I'm a private person, damnit!
In SL terms this translates to cuddling/dancing I suppose. I don't want to go down the obvious route of "Hey bb, lets prim!" but I guess that's a thing too. Just seeing my avatar with the person I care about is enough for me. I also really like those clingy huds, they're fun for friends & romantic partners!
Welp, I've gone on forever and didn't know when to stop again lol. That's what I like.. I'm sure many of you are very different and have other ways of showing your love & affection. I just have to keep remembering that there are many ways you can do it, and just because I show my love through giving my time eagerly, other people might need more cuddles or more verbal support. Ultimately, we all crave feeling accepted, and I can only hope we give each other the patience to find out how we can accept people's quirks while giving and receiving the things we need as humans too.
Eyelids : Slink Mesh eyelids (No longer available in store, but if you ask really nicely in a note, you MIGHT get them from slink customer service like I did on an alt *coughs*)
I'm coming at you from Consent again! I'm so excited about this project I can barely breathe!!
Our grand opening is going to be this Saturday, 2nd Dec at 3pm SLT. We have DJ's lined up until 11pm and some seriously amazing things happening throughout the duration of the event! It's going to be post apocalyptic themed attire, so be sure to wear something awesome if you want the chance to win some fabulous gift cards from a few very generous sponsors (names to be released closer to the event).
We are already open for visitors & hanging out. Now would be perfect if you like to take photographs yourself, because I have a feeling we're gonna blow up the grid soon!!
As for today, halfway through my taking the photo for this, Kaiden popped up, and sat on the chair behind me. He looked so cute, and I was busy looking all forlorn and stuff, and the whole scene looked like we'd just had an argument, so I decided to steal him. I'll give you some of his details too, even if he is just playing the part of blurry Man-Dolly!
All of the things, Kaiden :
Note, not everything he's wearing is listed!
Body & Hands : [SIGNATURE] Gianni - Mesh Body (updated to 4.4 sent automatically)
