I green screened this in a bit of a basic manner, but yay for different things!
I know! two posts in one day? What's going on!
Please don't get used to this. I'm just well rested and currently in advance of my projects, which is awesomeeee and another sign that I'm heading in the right direction!
Today I want to give an absolutely massive shout out to Narcisse. There's no doubt that there has been a massive leap forwards in quality in a fairly short span of time; I find the designs to be inspired yet original, and the textures always blow me away due to the use of materials (Materials are what makes the fabric look kinda shiny, and the shine will move with your camera angle, depending on your windlight. On the dress above, you can also see that certain points of the fabric look raised, and that too is down to the materials.).
Narcisse is in my opinion a brand to watch and I'm super excited to be able to showcase her fabulous products along her journey.
xoxo
I'm stealing people left and right at the moment, and I'm not even sorry! Today I'm joined by Maka, who is mostly naked around me.
OK... calm down! He started it by using a candycane for his man-bit and I just continued the theme in the name of Christmas! You're very welcome for this most recent show of his manhood!
Yesterday I wrote a bit that lead to a whole different wave of thinking, because hi, I'm Pickle, and my brain never stops.
For a long, long time I've felt absolutely fucking exhausted. I've spoken many times about my spoons, (original post >Here<) and how sometimes I just don't have the energy to deal with people, but recently I've made some changes in my life which has enabled me to spend more time with people who don't take from my cutlery drawer and who enrich my life... and I've also noticed that I've been more open to meeting and spending time with people who aren't directly "in my circle".
I really feel as though this is a direct result of cutting loose those who take. Granted, just because I feel drained by someone, doesn't mean everyone is going to be drained by them. Still, because I'm no longer hiding from those who constantly demand my attention and 'services', I have more space in my life to do things I actually want to do.
I'm not saying this is entirely the fault of other people, either. It's taken me a while to figure out that just because you CAN do something for someone else, doesn't mean you should.. and you should never feel like you have to agree or disagree with something, just because you feel like it's the right thing to do for them. Selfish is something I have always struggled with, and in an attempt to be selfLESS, I was giving too much through fear of not being accepted by others... and the real acceptance had to come from me.
Lawd.
Am I on my soapbox again?
I use this blog sometimes as an outlet, and I know that a lot of this won't make sense to everyone, but it helps me to figure out what's going on with the changes I'm making for me.. and if anyone relates then that's a bonus.
I'm joined by Hayyz today, and I'm absolutely chuffed she could pop over and take a picture with me.
I've not always been the kindest person towards her, but I have always been honest... and luckily, we've come to a place where we can poke each other gently and get along rather nicely.
I'm going to drop her flickr >here< and her blog >here< and politely request you give this budding blogger and photographer a follow and show some support. I can't wait to watch her and see how she progresses.
In other news, I've been watching Youtube a LOT lately. I suppose I'm feeding my need for nonsense with that rather than SL drama... which I have mixed feelings about, and will probably be addressed some other time...
Anywho, the commentary guy was saying how he felt like anyone who could be constantly positive and wanted everyone to play happy and be nice was fake, and I wanted to talk about this.
I don't think it's 'fake' to focus on bringing people together and making things happy.
I do think it's fake when you're doing those things because you think it's the right thing to do to make people like you more, or to push you further into a community or scenario based solely on the 'good' you do for everyone else. Let's face it, doing nice things for people makes you feel good. If it didn't feel good there'd be even less of a chance of us actually attempting to please others. I think the important thing to remember in doing nice things, is that we are doing them just to be nice, without alternate motives and without expectations of reciprocation.
The commentary guy also mentioned how being spiteful and angry was a natural emotion, and I definitely agree.. but just because you are angry, or feeling spiteful or some other negative, that doesn't mean you have to follow through and hurt someone because you hurt.
If I'm on my soap box, I apologize. I'm definitely not good at any of this at the moment, but I'm hoping that by putting all my feels into words, and expressing myself I can not only understand everything a little more, but maybe encourage a discussion or thought in others, too. It'll also be a reminder to me to work on the way I deal with my own personal situations, I'm definitely not the woman I was last year, and I hope I continue to grow and learn to accept myself and others.
xoxo
Hi! I'm wearing lipsticks from Go&See here, and yes... i'm trying desperately to provide you with a pretty image when I compare shades, but I'm still working out a good way to do this and so you're left with pictures that are on-a-wonk. Sorry. Practice makes perfect tho - and it doesn't take away from the pretty lip colours, so focus on that pls, dear readers!
Photo taken at my (potentially forever) unfinished home.
I've been reflecting a lot today, and I just wanna put it out there that I can be an asshole.
By asshole, I mean sometimes I just cannot keep my mouth shut.
For me to make sense of things, I need to vent.. and sometimes my choice of who I vent to can be somewhat uh.. fucked up.
See, I kind of have this habit of blurting, whether I've just met someone or I've known them for a while, I often scoop myself all the way up onto my high horse and preach to the hilltops about my personal opinions. While I'm much more confident in my opinions lately, that doesn't mean that everyone needs to know them, nor does it mean they care. I need to remember this.
I do have a habit of talking shit, too. Nothing that I can relate to 'gossip' as such, it's more like I'm really trying to work out WHY something happened, why I feel the way I do about a situation, what -I- could have done differently and why someone else reacted the way they did.
If I "talk shit" there's a 90% chance that I have already told the person I'm talking shit about how I feel, but again - that's not really anyone else's business. and it's certainly not my job to point out the flaws of others when I am so un-perfect myself.
I was considering the idea of new years resolutions today, and I think I've decided what mine is. I don't often make resolutions, because I feel like for the most part they are unrealistic, but for 2019, I want to do better at dealing with a situation and moving on. For my own sanity, I need to let things go, confide more in people that genuinely care and aren't just floaters in my life, and I definitely need to mind my own fucking business.
I really want to project positivity, and if I'm concentrated so firmly on other people and how negative they are (to ME), I will never achieve the serenity inside myself that I'm aiming for.
I retreat quite a lot, but today I'm having an SL get-together with some of my inworld family.
I'm kinda nervous about this. I've been with this particular family for almost a year now, but because I am quite an anxious Pickle, I've kept myself back from actually getting to know anyone outside of my "Mum & Dad". That means that I'm now over-thinking meeting all the people I haven't yet met.
I was introduced to my mothers parents yesterday, and that went surprisingly well!
I used to think SL families were a really weird concept, and then I was persuaded to make a child avatar by one of my besties and wham... I was convinced they were awesome.
I think they're basically like everything, RL or SL. They're your own little community.
I've been through a fair amount of drama within the families I've been associated... Narcissistic mothers, Flirty fathers, Jealous siblings and a bunch of other unrelated nonsense... but let's be fair, everywhere you go there's that risk, and the only choice you have to make is whether or not the people you surround yourself with are people who make you happy, feed your spoon consumption and don't take more than they're willing to give.
So sure, I'm nervous as fudge... but I'm also excited.
Excited because these people are potentially new friends, and despite my difficulties in interacting I'm lucky to have been given the opportunity to meet people that mean something to my existing SL family. We have games and maybe a movie, and some gift exchanges planned, so yeah, I'm anxious... but it's pushing me to open up, and that's gotta be good.
